


Cooking with Javi!

by ofreverentia



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Dates, First Fight, First Meetings, First Time, Getting to Know Each Other, Hand Jobs, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Living Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Mild Sexual Content, Moving In Together, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Pets, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Some scenes are different from reality, Strangers to Lovers, Travel, Youtuber - Freeform, figure skater, learning about each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 02:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 61
Words: 82,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20538410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: Like every single morning Javier got woken up by Effie, a paw pressed to his face to tell him it was time to wake up and feed her. With a sigh he rolled out of his bed, wincing when his feet touched the cold floor. He took a mental note to buy that rug he wanted for weeks now so this doesn’t happen every morning.





	1. #1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I wrote this plot down almost a month ago in my little plot book. I needed some distraction and decided to attack the first chapter of this. I honestly do not know how the updates will roll around or how many chapters I will have. I definitely have a lot of things I plan to write in the coming month or two. Let’s see where this one goes I guess :) Feedback is appreciated! Thank you. PS: We may switch POVs in chapters, will do my best to indicate which one it is. First chapter will be Javi.  


Like every single morning Javier got woken up by Effie, a paw pressed to his face to tell him it was time to wake up and feed her. With a sigh he rolled out of his bed, wincing when his feet touched the cold floor. He took a mental note to buy that rug he wanted for weeks now so this doesn’t happen every morning. Rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes he shuffled to the kitchen, feeding Effie her breakfast and starting up his coffee machine. While it would prepare him a good amount which will last him maybe until noon he walked to the bathroom to do his morning routine. By the time he finished the kitchen was filled with the delicious scent of coffee making him drool. 

Quickly he prepared himself a toast with butter and some avocado slices, filled his favourite mug with the coffee and placed them aesthetically at the small table by his huge living room window. Javier snapped his Instagram photo and uploaded it before he settled down to actually enjoy the food and drink. By the time he finished his breakfast his phone was blowing up with notifications, likes and comments. It never ceased to amaze him how popular his channel and instagram have become over the past two years, making it possible to move into a beautiful loft in Toronto. 

Javier started his Youtube channel about four years ago but he really got popular two years ago. He doesn’t really remember where the idea came from, maybe it was Laura who told him to try it when he struggled finding a job he actually enjoyed doing. He tried it as a hobby first so he could actually relax and do something which was fun in between filing reports or creating spreadsheets. Boring office jobs weren’t really his deal. There was one thing Javier loved more than sleep which was food, so he decided to make videos about him cooking. Javier tried different kind of cuisine but his audience really enjoyed his Spanish dishes, especially since he made sure to share information about where he got the items from. It wasn’t easy to get certain ingredients in Canada but whenever he found a good place, he made sure to let his audience know. That certainly boosted his popularity.

Finishing his coffee he made his way back to his kitchen for a refill and snatch his laptop from the counter. It was time to plan his day ahead, he wanted to film at least two videos in advance and a sponsorship deal was also waiting for his reply. But before he would even consider working he made sure to check his private Twitter account for any news about his favourite skater, after all the season was about to begin. 

At this point probably everyone who watched his channel knew how he loved figure-skating, his latest Q&A turning to be the most favourite upload in the past month. He also may have mentioned that his favourite skater was Yuzuru Hanyu and that blew up incredibly with the skaters fans. So here he was scanning Twitter for new info and he wasn’t disappointed. Yuzuru had his trusty media day and now his feed was spammed with almost the same footage over and over again. Javier clicked on a few of them to check out the music and he had to say he loved the choices. By the end of his half an hour break he was humming to the notes of Origin with a bright smile on his face.

Javier looked up from his laptop, gaze moving to the small pin wall he had, his printed tickets for Autumn Classic occupying the center. He couldn't wait to go and see him skate in person. Effie rubbed against his leg bringing Javier back to reality. 

“Right...right. I have work to do.” He nodded to himself, closing Twitter and opening his schedule plan for the day. Few minutes later he started setting up his equipment and laying out all the ingredients he would need for today's first video. 

\----

Javier collapsed on his couch several hours later. Two videos got filmed as planned, his kitchen was spotless again and he devoted most of the food he cooked because it was time to for lunch and almost dinner by the time he finished. He managed to edit half of a video he planned to post the next day too. A very productive but tiring day. Some people really have no idea how much time goes into one video.

Effie was curled up on the chair by the window, enjoying the setting sun and Javier envied her for a moment. With another sigh he pushed himself up into a sitting position and decided to check all the comments on his picture from the morning, replying to some questions or liking those of his friends. Just when he was ready to close the app he spotted one username that had started to appear more often over the summer - yypooh. The username reminded him of Yuzuru for some reason and he found it adorable. He had checked out the account before and only have found a few pictures. They were quite nice he had to admit. He liked the latest one the most which showed a pure white surface with some carvings on there, he recognized the pattern and knew instantly it was ice, the marks being made by skates. Javier looked at the comment and chuckled. 

**“No Effie this morning?”** It was true. Usually when he takes his morning pictures Effie is in the frame but today she was too busy eating. He just writes just that as reply.  **“She was busy stuffing her face with food to appear in my picture. But I shall her current pose in a new post!”** Javier turns to snap a picture of Effie in the chair he usually sits in, Toronto skyline behind her in beautiful orange and pink hues. He added a smirking cat emoji as his description and posted it. Not even a minute later there is a like and comment from yypooh.  **“She so cute!”** . 

Javier had to bite is lips, that user was cuter in his opinion but he couldn’t even say if it was a guy or a girl, nor did he want to sound too creepy. He wondered though, because they appeared to be a nice person and he was severely lacking interaction on the dating department. Many people did not understand that his schedule could be extremely strict even if he was “just making Youtube videos”. Javier rolled his eyes at the words he recalled. Turning back to his phone he liked the comment before he decided to close the app. It was enough social interaction for today, he had to finish editing his video before going to bed.

\----

Yuzuru rolled to the side on his bed, staring at the image on his phone. He bit down on his lower lip trying not to coo at the cat curled up in the chair, bathed in beautiful colors. She was so adorable and so was his owner in his opinion.


	2. #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru sighed as he zipped up his training bag. His training went well though not perfect (to his standard) and he doesn’t have much time left before the season would begin. He wondered why he just couldn’t concentrate on the elements._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV :)

Yuzuru sighed as he zipped up his training bag. His training went well though not perfect (to his standard) and he doesn’t have much time left before the season would begin. He wondered why he just couldn’t concentrate on the elements. Brian always advised for him to do something to relax, just go home and listen to his favourite music or watch something on TV. If only people would know how many times he does exactly that. Training and studies do take up a lot of his time in a day but he had established a system which allows him to spend an hour or two browsing on social media or watch his favourite anime. 

What people did not know was his recent obsession of Youtube and a certain Youtuber. It must have been after Pyeongchang where he had randomly encountered a video in his recommendation. He had no idea why it got suggested but the algorithm of the app never worked too well. A few instances he got disturbed but this time he couldn’t help but click on it, the thumbnail calling for him. Since then he couldn’t stop watching the channel, even the old videos. While the male - Javier - spoke mostly Spanish in his videos he provided English subtitles which did help for him to understand most of what he was talking about. At the same time he just loved how the language sounded, the melody of it and well, he may have developed a crush on that handsome Spanish on screen.

It was ridiculous in a way how he could be charmed by someone he did not know, only relied on his videos or Instagram posts. At the same time each image contained so much warmth, happiness and kindness he felt drawn to it like a moth to a flame. He even made himself an account just so he could like the posts and leave a few comments. What he did not expect was for Javier to reply to him, sometimes even having a light conversation. He never dared to direct message him though, nor did he post too much on his own account in fear his fans would find it and there goes his privacy. Yuzuru loved his fans dearly but sometimes they were scarier and better than the FBI, CIA or any other intelligence agency combined. 

Yuzuru was so lost in his thoughts he flinched when his mother placed a hand on his arm. “We are home, go and rest in your room. Maybe watch that handsome boy you have been watching over the summer, I will bring you some tea.” He felt heat rising to his cheeks, not expecting his mother to call out on his recent addiction in such a way. 

“Mom…” He whined causing her to chuckle and usher him inside the building. 

“What? He is handsome and seems nice. He also can cook really well.” Yuzuru knew he must have looked like a tomato by now. 

“How do you.. why? I mean…” Yumi rolled her eyes at her son. 

“Yuzu, darling, you are not as subtle as you think you are. Doesn’t he live in Toronto too? Maybe you should try messaging him or something. I know how kids these days do that so easily in all those apps on their phones.” Yuzuru gasped, his jaw almost hitting the floor. Did his mom just suggest him to direct message Javier and maybe hook up with him. “Don’t look so shocked. I am not that old, I keep up with how things work these days and you could spend some time outside as well.”

“I am not having this conversation.” Yuzuru near sprinted to his room, feeling way too embarrassed hearing all that from his mother. 

“Go and like his new picture if you are at it, he shared a new one with that cute cat of his.” Yuzuru froze and looked at her like she grew two heads out of a sudden.

“What?” Yumi just smirked at him. “As I said...not subtle yypooh.” If it would have been possible, Yuzurus eyes would have popped out of their sockets. 

“Oh my god… I wanna die right now.” Yumi laughed at his dramatic antics. “I will bring your tea in a few minutes, you can lock your door after.” 

Yuzuru wished the ground would swallow him up right that instant. This wasn’t how he expected his day to turn out to be.

Yuzuru did lock his door once he got his fresh cup of tea, trying not to hide under his blanket due to the look Yumi was giving him. She knew he liked boys and she also knew about Javier and that was a bit too much for him. All he wanted was to curl up on his bed and watch some cute videos. If it involved the latest update of Javier she didn’t need to know. Also he did like his latest picture on Instagram. 

\----

Autumn Classic was approaching which meant for Yuzuru to cut himself off from all the nice things he usually would indulge in. It included watching Javier as well. It made him sad for the first day but he had to start the season well. 

And so first day of practice arrived and he sighed the moment the bodyguard waited for him by the car. His Team informed him that he will have someone assigned as ACI wasn’t one of the big venues that could split the skaters and fans from each other so well. A bodyguard would be better to have than risking being surrounded and not being able to concentrate on his competition. Soon he got immersed in the screams of his fans, the reveal of his new programs and while he did not the kind of victory he aimed for, his first pancake of the season got him a gold medal. By the time the competition was over he felt exhausted to the bone ready to dive into his bed for a whole day of sleeping and resting. Before he did that though he sneaked on Instagram to check on Javier. 

The moment he opened his profile and looked at his last pictures he let out a squeak, sitting up on his bed in a flash. He cradled the device in both hands while staring on the screen. What he saw was himself clad in his short and free costume, beautiful pictures taken but what knocked the air out of his lungs were the words Javier wrote under them.

**“Otonal. How do I even describe this magical program to begin with, there are no words I could use to fit this beautiful piece he put on ice. Yuzuru showed yet again what figure skating truly is and why I love the sport and his skating so much. I am so happy I did decide to come and see him skate this weekend. Can’t wait for his free! I can feel it will be great.”**

**“Origin. Wow. If his new short was already amazing I am not sure what I can say about his free. I felt like I was drawn in a different world, where he is the center of it and everything revolves around him. While, yes he will polish a few more parts of it since he is a perfectionist I can see this program becoming as great as Seimei was if not more. I feel privileged to be part of his generation and be able to watch him skate on the ice. He is truly a champion.”**

Yuzuru re-read the captions several times, his heart beating rapidly inside of his chest. He had heard many praises in his life but never did it mean so much to him than the words of Javier. The fact that he was there in the arena without him knowing felt surreal. But if he would have just looked at his social media the day before he would have seen how he announced his attendance. Yuzuru swallowed the lump in his throat, staring at the wall in his room.

Javier was there and he loved his new programs and he felt privileged for being able to watch him. He didn’t know what to say or do. All sleep left his body as adrenaline rushed through his veins.

“Javier was there…” He breathed out, biting down on his lower lip.


	3. #3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier woke up on the first day of the official practice feeling extremely excited. He barely caught proper sleep but he was just too excited. It would be his first time seeing Yuzuru in person on the ice and he couldn’t help but be all giddy about it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javi POV

Javier woke up on the first day of the official practice feeling extremely excited. He barely caught proper sleep but he was just too excited. It would be his first time seeing Yuzuru in person on the ice and he couldn’t help but be all giddy about it. And since the competition was so close as well, he didn’t need to worry too much about Effie. The drive wouldn’t take long and he would come back each evening. He would essentially leave her for a few hours and in the worst case scenario he did have a friend on speed dial to check on her.

This left him with little to no travel anxiety which he did appreciate considering he will be all anxious about the new programs Yuzuru would bring. Nobody knew how the complete program looked like and if he knew anything from the skater at this point it was that there will be some surprises. Javier tried to imagine any costume options but no matter what would be on Yuzuru it will fit the program. He knew it. Shaking the thoughts away for now he hurried through his morning routine, checking the bag if he still had the small Japanese flag in there that he wanted to take and embarrassingly enough a mini Pooh to squeeze the life out of in case of nerves. Javier made sure Effie had water and food for the day, he gobbled down a toast with some boiled eggs and with a quick look around the apartment later he was running down to steps to his car.

\----

Javier arrived at the arena shortly after the doors were opened. While he knew the seating was free of choice and many lined up to get good seats he didn’t want to leave at a wee hour of the day for that. He grabbed himself a cup of coffee before finding a good seat in the 3rd row next to a few Japanese aunties. From his seat he would see the entrance from where the skaters would come on the ice, the area where the coaches would set up. To him it was perfect and he leaned back with a satisfied smile. Javier finished his coffee before the first group took the ice for practice and he quickly searched his bag to take out his neatly folded Japanese flag and his small Pooh. 

A few minutes later he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to the lady next to him. “Fan of Yuzuru?” Javier blinked but nodded at the question. 

“Yes. I came because of him.” He felt a slight flush cover his cheeks because if he did glance around most of the fans in the arena were female. The lady grinned brightly and relaid the message to her friend in rapid Japanese, both reaching for their bags to retrieve some items. Javier watched bewildered as some clear files and newspapers were placed in his hands. “For you, present. For Yuzuru fans.” Rendered speechless by the kindness of those ladies all he could do was bow to them. He certainly did not expect this from the fans of Yuzuru. He heard that sometimes they came and gave out presents to other fans of his but to actually be on the receiving end made him feel happy and overwhelmed. 

Javier could sense the rise of anticipation as the time for Yuzurus practice group to take the ice came closer. A few minutes prior the low mumbling turned louder and Javier saw the skater entering through the red doors, headphones on and mouthing along the lyrics. He couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed watching as he sang along the lyrics, unbothered by the chaos erupting around him. The ladies next to him were giggling too and Javier had to bite down on his lower lip to muffle his own laughter. It was endearing but also very embarrassing. All that feeling left though and got replacement by pure amazement the second Yuzurus skates touched the ice. Even the sound was different compared to the other skaters on the ice. Javier had to pick up his jaw from the floor after witnessing one of those incredible triple axels. For the rest of the training he stared with possibly an open mouth, completely forgetting to take pictures of his own. He couldn’t even recall who else was on the ice with Yuzuru, his eyes on following him. A commotion followed as the skater left but Javier just sat there blinking. A soft tap on his shoulder bought him back to reality.

“He good, right?” The lady next to him asked and he nodded. “Amazing…” He breathed out making her chuckle. 

Javier wondered how he will be able to survive the actual competition if he was already blown away by a practice session. 

\----

On the day of the short program he felt more nervous than the first time he posted something on his Youtube channel to start his career. He was shaking lightly as he found himself a seat similar to the day before, promptly meeting the two ladies from the other day. He exchanging smiles with them, taking out his flag, pooh and this time his camera as well. He won’t miss the chance to take pictures today, practice and warm up. During the performance itself he will probably be too immersed to do any of those things. 

The first picture he took on the other hand was with his phone, a small announcement of what he was up to. Then he put his phone aside in exchange of a better camera. Javier already knew that he will at least a thousand pictures to swift through just by the time Yuzuru was done with his practice and run through. And he wasn’t wrong especially when the fans could see Otonal in some shape or form. 

“Wow…” Javier breathed out catching the skaters final pose on his camera. He couldn’t wait to see this in full costume. And he only needed to wait a couple of hours before Yuzuru appeared again by the side of the rink, clad in his Team Japan jacket. Judging form his expression ready for the 6-minute warm-up. The whole arena was buzzing with anticipation to see what lay underneath the jacket. The reveal was unexpected and casual from Yuzurus side. He had done this so many times before but it was Javiers first time to see the chaos that broke out the moment the ice-blue costume appeared. Yuzuru had his back towards him and Javier gasped at the amount of detail following the skaters spine on the fabric through his lense. “Beautiful…Dios mio, tan hermoso...” He had a hard time swallowing or even thinking straight after that, snapping as many pictures as he could. He knew his cheeks must have been flushed but Yuzuru looked otherly beautiful.

By the end of the practice time he took a good number of photos and had to let out a long sigh. The ladies next to him were chatting in Japanese non-stop and he had a good idea what it was about. Yuzuru had really done it and the few minutes until he would come out again to skate to his music passed quickly. Javier stored away his camera because he intended to enjoy this performance to the fullest, clenched the Japanese flag and the Pooh in each of his hands. He even leaned slightly forward due to the anticipation.

Javier doesn’t even remember if he took a breath all throughout the short program, if several cameras caught on his expression which was that of pure amazement. He literally had to pick up his jaw from the floor. He is not delusional too, he knows Yuzuru can do so much better, he made mistakes and possibly will get a spin invalidated because the position didn’t look like it was held for as many revolution as the new rules require it. Nevertheless it was a stunning program, which was only waiting to become even more amazing throughout the season. As thought the scores were okay, fans already searching up the protocols why it was so low but Javier had a good idea and he didn’t want to anger himself with other parts of the sheet. It was known by now how certain judges liked to be assholes when it came to Yuzuru. 

At the end of the event he drove him, cuddled up against Effie on his bed and shared a short Instagram post about the events. He also took some notes on his phone for the Vlog he intends to share for the first time on his channel. It was a random idea that popped in his head before leaving and decided to shoot different parts of the event. Maybe people will like to see a more personal side in videos aside from cooking. Javier also planned a talking section where he would recount everything. Just thinking about that part and how he would possibly gush over Yuzuru brought color to his cheeks. 

Tomorrow though it was time for the free and he wasn’t sure if he was prepared for what was coming.


	4. #4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier had a hard time waking up and roll out of his bed. He was exhausted as he couldn’t calm down after the short program quick enough. How was he meant to survive todays free? Origin was a song he enjoyed listening to since media day and he wasn’t sure if he is not going to grow emotional seeing it. Javier ran a hand across his face, staring out of the window in his bedroom. It was early enough for him to take it easy, enjoy a proper breakfast, spend some time with Effie before he needs to drive to the arena. _

Javier had a hard time waking up and roll out of his bed. He was exhausted as he couldn’t calm down after the short program quick enough. How was he meant to survive todays free? Origin was a song he enjoyed listening to since media day and he wasn’t sure if he is not going to grow emotional seeing it. Javier ran a hand across his face, staring out of the window in his bedroom. It was early enough for him to take it easy, enjoy a proper breakfast, spend some time with Effie before he needs to drive to the arena. 

He checked Twitter while sipping on his coffee, having a hard time not to like every single post that contained pictures of Yuzuru. He also had to remind himself to maybe look over his own pictures. Javier considered to visit a few competitions throughout the season and maybe setup a website for his photography. It may not have been the kind of quality Joosep put out but they weren’t extremely horrible either. He just didn’t want to merge his hobby with his work account. Without delaying the idea he grabbed his laptop to set up a website where he can upload his pictures in a good quality, creating a corresponding Twitter and Instagram account.  **JaviF-photography** . Photography was a passion he had too next to Youtube though he didn’t really share many images he took unless they were to promote and keep the aesthetic on his personal Instagram. 

By the time he had to leave or he would run into traffic he had almost everything set up and four images uploaded as well and shared on all platforms. He felt accomplished but also knew it may the last thing he did today given how he would watch Yuzuru skate again. His heart beat faster the day before as he found himself a good spot in the arena. 

Yuzurus run-through of his free program caused Javier to bite his lips until he could taste blood. It was so much better than what they have seen from media-day footages. He could see some struggle when it came to jumps and Yuzuru appeared to be so lost in his thoughts of how to plan his layout that he wondered if maybe he still struggled because of his injury. Even if he did, he made sure not to show any of that to his fans or skaters competing around him. Determination written all his face. 

Settling in just like the previous days for the free, he waited for Yuzuru to appear through the double doors again in costum and when he did he gasped. Slicked back hair which reminded him of Let’s go crazy and a shiver ran down his spine. Yuzuru looked beautiful but powerful too. Javier was happy he could hide his red face behind his camera taking picture after picture. Nobody was prepared for the moment when Yuzuru zipped down his jacket and slid it off his shoulders. The screams in the arena were deafening and Javier solid forgot how to breathe for a minute. If Otonal was gorgeous already Origin was on a whole new level. Yuzuru haven’t worn black in years and the details of the costume were exquisite. 

Javier had tried to find words to describe what he was seeing but they all came flat and he wondered how he would even be able to talk about this on his planned vlog. That thought also reminded him to maybe take some footage not just pictures and he switched to video mode the moment Yuzuru lined up for his signature triple axel. He landed it right in front of him, a satisfied smirk on his face. Javier was in love. He couldn’t describe it in any other way, he was in love and it didn’t just seem like the affection of a fan. No, Yuzuru was stirring up a whole different side of him. 

He felt nervous, really nervous and the minutes went by so slow until it was the Japanese skaters turn, Javier was ready to rip his hair out. Holding himself in check he put his camera aside again, clasping his hands together in silent prayer. Yuzuru stepped on the ice, staying by the boards talking to his coaches and squeezing Poohs head. He was doing his pre-skate routine and Javier felt like he could throw up from all the nerves. 

Yuzuru gave his cue, took his starting position and Javier probably stopped breathing for the next four minutes. 

The music started and Javier watched, bewitched as Yuzuru landed his opening quad Loop on music, followed by a quad toe. The twizzle sandwich as fans called it made him quickle a bit due to the naming but it was still so beautiful. A triple Loop like butter, each element looked beautiful until the hard fall on the quad Sal. Javier winced and squeezed the Pooh in his hands tighter. The fall must have unbalanced the skater because he popped his next jump into a double. His combination was good but also lacked the usual finesse he had with it and his signature axel had barely been saved in the end. Javier loved the program from the first pose until the last but nobody could deny that it wasn’t yet perfect. It was the beginning of the season and from the labored breaths the skater was taking the biggest issue lay with the shortened time. Skaters had to cram in elements to get scores and it would be a struggle for everyone. Yuzurus expression was enough to tell that he himself wasn’t happy with the program, Javier took out his camera to record the Kiss & Cry he sat right across from but also he wanted to see better how the skater was reacting to it all. 

Javier had the feeling that the laid back attitude he had prior the season start got officially thrown out of the window and the “kuyashii” will get a much awaited return. He wasn’t wrong. Yuzuru made faces and his reaction to his score was expected. In that moment, Javier got the idea of his life. Taking out his phone he went online, tapped away on the screen for a few minutes until he saw the confirmations he needed.

Javier had not planned it but here he was now with an all event ticket for the Grand Prix in Helsinki and a booked flight as well. All he needed was the confirmation for his hotel reservation which by the time Yuzuru got announced as the winner of the competition, also arrived in his inbox. He may as well just go for it, he had nothing to lose. Javier never been to Finland and he would do anything to see these performances again. It did help a lot that he had no major commitments for the beginning of November, allowing him to take a small weekend off from work. He will worry about producing content in advance or how to take care of Effie after he got home.

Javier had a flower ceremony to watch and record. 


	5. #5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier arrived home feeling exhausted and ready to face plant on his bed after this weekend but he also had a video to post and start editing. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hoping the upload works as I am in the middle of nowhere with spotchy Internet sometimes. Enjoy! I shall reply to comments in the next day or two! 😘

Javier arrived home feeling exhausted and ready to face plant on his bed after this weekend but he also had a video to post and start editing. So instead of sleeping he made himself a cup of coffee, gave Effie a snack because she deserved it and settled with his laptop and camera on the couch. Two hours later he had his cooking video scheduled to be uploaded in the morning, he had edited and shared some of his images on all the new platforms. His very first pictures got some good reactions, definitely helping his confidence to share more.

Before his eyes started to close for longer than a minute he finished half of his vlog as well. Effie long asleep by his side and Javier decided it was time for him to do the same. Placing his laptop and camera on the coffee table he dragged himself to his bedroom, falling asleep the second his head hit the pillow.

\----

Javier opened his eyes slowly, trying to get back to his senses. The sun was shining brightly behind his thin curtains and he cursed himself for forgetting about the blinds. He rolled on his side to reach for his phone.

2:34pm. 

He definitely slept long and it was a miracle Effie had not tried to wake up him up yet. With that thought he pushed himself away from the comfort of his bed to check on his cat. Effie was still curled up in the same position he left her last night. Opening his camera he took a picture of her, posting it on Instagram with the caption  **“I am not the only one who likes to sleep in. :P #thoughweekend #finallyslept”** . He saw a good number of notifications waiting for him to be read but before he could even comprehend a full sentence in any language he spoke he decided to make himself some coffee and get the toaster started too. 

Freshly showered he settled by his big windows in the living room, Effie waking up enough to move to her bed next to his chair. She scratched behind ear for a bit making her purr softly. A sip of coffee and he opened his Instagram scrolling through the comment section on the images he posted about Yuzuru. What he have not seen before he saw now. There was a certain individual who had not liked or commented on his recent uploads. That never happened before. Javier frowned a bit checking their account but there wasn’t any activity for a week now. He wondered if they were okay, what would be the reason of their absence. A few days were normal, not everyone could spend day and night on social media but this was unusual. 

Javier couldn’t dwell too long on the topic as he had more footage to edit, especially if he wanted to release the vlog by the evening. He somehow wanted to make sure his recorded footage was done, so he can do a sit-down to talk about his experience at the end. By 6 p.m he had finished everything and could start setting up in the corner he used if he had some kind of announcement to film. Camera and lights in place, Javier sat down in his chair, pushing the record button.

“Hey guys, it’s Javier. Today I have a special video prepared for you all. Maybe some of you follow me on social media and have already seen it but if not, I have spent the last few days at a figure-skating competition here in Canada. I went to the Autumn Classic International, especially to watch Yuzuru Hanyu. In my last Q&A I already touched on this before. It was a last minute decision if I am honest but I have no regrets, it was amazing. I have recorded some footage and I will put time-stamps and all wherever possible. If there are any additional infos, I will have it in the description box. Enjoy! Also tune it at the end where I will talk a bit about the whole experience too!” Javier stopped his recording, quickly re-watching the footage to make sure it looked okay. Deeming it good enough he started to record again.

“So here I am again to talk a bit more about the last couple of days. As some of you know I live in Canada and the competition was a short drive away. It was a last minute decision to go but as I have mentioned in the beginning I am very happy I did that. I didn’t stay at a hotel during the competition, I was driving back and forth every day. I didn’t really want to leave Effie alone for a long time especially if the venue was this close. I know that on Twitter a lot of talk went on about the queues in front of the arena to get in. I haven’t really done that, only arrived a bit before the doors opened. Since I was sitting alone I still got lucky for a good place as you could see from the footage. I also met two amazing Japanese ladies who gave me a few goodies.” Javier reached towards the items, holding them up for the camera. “These are the only fan items I own from Yuzuru, they are beautiful and I will make sure to use them well. Thank you to the kind people.” Javier gave a small bow putting down the clear-files again, so he won’t drop them. 

“On my social media I already touched on the topic how amazing I have found Yuzuru and his two new programs Otonal and Origin but here I am to say it again… they are incredible even if it was just the first competition and he struggled with a few elements. It was the first pancake, it is never perfect.” Javier laughed. “It was my first time seeing him in person while I have been a fan for a few years now and it is just incredible what he is able to put on the ice even for a simple practice. The moment his blades touch the ice you can hear it sounds different compared to the others. I probably could go on for hours about how great he is in my eyes but I will stop here for my own sake. I want you all to enjoy the footage I have recorded and pictures I have taken rather than me going off about my favourite skater EVER. On that note I want to announce that I have created a website with corresponding social media accounts for my photos. I do not want to flood my normal account with them. I will have the links down below so feel free to check it out! In general feel free to let me know if you guys are interested in occasional vlogs about things I do when I am not recording for this channel. Like, share, comment you know the usual jazz. Thank you for watching! See you next time.” Javier waved at the camera, smiling brightly before he turned the recording off. 

Javier checked his footage again and smiled, quickly transferring it to his laptop so he can finish the video and upload. It was exciting to share something different on his channel and he hoped people would take it well. Though he knew that even if it wouldn’t be so popular he would repeat this for Helsinki. If nothing else he would have the memories for himself.


	6. #6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Directly after competition, Yuzuru tended to take a day or two off. Let his muscles regain their usual energy. Sunday was his off day to catch up with studies or his favourite anime as well. As per agreement Monday will be his second day and by Tuesday he will return to the rink to train for his first GP Assignment - Helsinki. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

Directly after competition, Yuzuru tended to take a day or two off. Let his muscles regain their usual energy. Sunday was his off day to catch up with studies or his favourite anime as well. As per agreement Monday will be his second day and by Tuesday he will return to the rink to train for his first GP Assignment - Helsinki. Since he did not have to wake up he let himself sleep as much as he could, the excitement from seeing Javiers posts still lingering in his mind. By the time he woke up it was closer to noon. He rolled out of his bed ignoring his phone for the sake of a shower and maybe a warm meal. 

His mother as always expected her son to wake and was putting the finishing touches to his early lunch. She ushered him to shower quickly while she sets the table. Yuzuru pressed a kiss to her cheek, thanking her. The food was delicious and he actually asked for a second helping of rice, making Yumi look happy. They caught up with the competition, discussing his skates and what he may want to tackle once back at the rink. She has spent so much time watching him skate, knowing his condition sometimes better than he could. Not once did she give the right advise when it came to jump entry or input for his choreography. She did not expect him to listen especially if the advice came in one of his moods but Yuzuru learn how often she was spot on.

  
For an hour after eating they were discussing and outlining what he should do before Helsinki and while he was known for his ‘5 minute per day for spins’ training mentality he admitted he may need to put in more effort. He can’t risk another invalidated spin if he wants to win at Grand Prix events. Every single point counts. 

Yuzuru excused himself from the table later knowing he had to finish at least one essay today but before he could go too far Yumi called out after him. “Javier posted a new cooking video! You know if you want to just relax a bit longer before you dive into your homework.” Yuzuru flushed bright red, covering his face with both hands and made a run for it. He is never going to live this down with her. As he closed the door to his bedroom he could hear her laughing.

\----

Yuzuru ignored the fact that there may be a cooking video from Javier because he still didn’t know if he should react to his recent posts. It felt wrong to like praises spoken about him even if the other did not know his identity behind the user account. Quickly ignoring those thoughts he tackled his homework and typed away like a madman until early earning. His came interrupting to inform him it was time for dinner. Yuzuru completely forgot about the time but his essay was nearly finished, so he considered it as a good thing.

He joined her for dinner and the two ate mostly in silence. Yuzuru started to feel exhausted but had to finish a few more pages and he didn’t want to leave it for the next day. Helping his mother with the dishes after he excused himself with a cup of tea she insisted he takes with him. Yuzuru finished his homework an hour later, leaning back in his chair and stretching. He submitted his work before he could think about it otherwise and reached for his phone for the first time that day. 

A few messages from friends and family waited for him, congratulations about his medal and best wishes for Helsinki. He dutifully replied to everyone before he even dared to look at the icon of Instagram and Youtube. There was a number 2 bubble above the later and that confused him. He only subscribed to Javier for any kind of notifications at he never posted twice a day. Curious of what it meant he opened the app and promptly fell off his chair in his shock.

**“Javi vlog #1 Autumn Classic International figure skating competition”**

“WHAT THE HELL?” He shouted and his mother burst in his room a few seconds later, slightly panicked especially once she saw Yuzuru sitting on the floor with his phone in hand. 

“What is wrong? Did you fell? Are you injured?” Yuzuru turned his head towards her very slowly, mouth hanging open.

“A vlog… he...a vlog.” He stuttered. Yumi blinked confused at him but then she got it and she sighed, expression turning to that where she wasn’t happy with him.

“I will go to bed and rest.” Turning around she did just that, not giving her son more attention but from the rolling of her eyes she had a lot on her mind. Teasing aside Yuzuru could tell she wanted him to make friends and maybe with Javier something else. She feared to have such a conversation with her and she knew him well enough not to press seriously.

Yuzuru got himself up from the floor and moved to his bed, hands shaking a bit as he stared at the thumbnail, wondering if he should watch it. He was curious but was he also ready to see himself in the eyes of Javier? Until like a day ago he didn’t know he was even at the competition and now this. It overwhelmed him. Closing his eyes to collect himself as if he would be prior of a skate he clicked on the video.

The footage starts with the camera filming Javier as he makes himself coffee, worn out t-shirt and sweats low on his hips. Yuzuru gulps watching it, feeling as he is standing right in his kitchen, intimate and why is his heart beating so fast? Effie appears in the screen hopping on the counter to watch Javier glares but then just shakes his head with an affectionate smile, rubbing behind her ears. The two stay that way in the kitchen and it is such a peaceful image, a new side he had not seen of Javier before. It is the same kitchen he films in but the imaginary is completely different. Javier picks up the camera and smiles, announcing how he needs to get ready. His hand comes up to the lense to block it, the next cut is him grabbing a bag which was waiting for him by his door. He bids goodbye to Effie and locks the door to his apartment Yuzuru guesses.

The next frames show how Javier drives to the venue and enters the arena. Before he searches for a seat he buys himself a coffee and Yuzuru laughs at that. Typical Javier with his love for coffee. Javier settles into an empty seat and films the rink. Yuzuru gasps because that is exactly across from the skaters entrance and in one of the first rows. How could he miss him sitting there? From there on timestamps appear to show when certain short clips were taken, all are from him though as he is skating around, lands a jump or discusses with his coaches. Yuzuru is the center of Javiers attention it brings color and heat to his cheeks. Javier is unashamed to show how much he loves seeing Yuzuru skate. The video continues on with similar layout, morning, arena and returning back to his apartment at the end of the day all throughout the three days. Yuzuru thought at the end of day three it would be the end but it wasn’t. Suddenly Javier is sitting in front of the camera. Yuzuru nearly dropped his phone from the surprise.

Javier literally drops a bomb following the other and Yuzuru had to rewind the video at least twice to catch it all. Each time he sees the clearfiles he let’s out a weird noise, feeling embarrassed about them. He makes sure to check out the link for his photography and he is amazed by his images. They are so good they could easily be published in a magazine back in Japan, adoring the covers of the dozens publishers bring out after each competition. This time Yuzuru follows, likes and comments on whatever he can, going on a spree to show Javier that he should continue with this. He is ignoring how he feels his chest filling with a new kind of emotion he had not experienced before. The last comment he leaves is on the image on his usual account of Effie.  **“Effie has the best life. ♥”**


	7. #7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru goes back to training with a new found motivation which he keeps to himself. He wants to work hard and show a much better performance knowing Javier will follow up with his season. Helsinki is closer than it feels like and he wants to perfect the programs._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

Yuzuru goes back to training with a new found motivation which he keeps to himself. He wants to work hard and show a much better performance knowing Javier will follow up with his season. Helsinki is closer than it feels like and he wants to perfect the programs. By the end of the training he feels a bit more confident and his new combination is going well too, he intends to add it into his layout. He decides to share a photo of a sunset reflecting on the ice in the club and writes his caption  **“Working hard”** . To his surprise Javier is one of the first ones to like it from the few followers he does have. It causes his stomach to do a weird flip.

\----

Leaving for Helsinki is exciting. He has good memories about Finland and it is his first assignment. He wants to sweep a gold with everything he has and it is such a nice feeling. After Pyeongchang he had a time where he didn’t know if he should continue, maybe going pro would be better but he still had a few things he wanted to accomplish. So here he was boarding a plane to yet another country for a competition with his mother and coaches by his side. 

Before he knew it he was in Finland, exhausted from the travel but still in good spirits. Fans and the media were waiting for him and he couldn’t avoid them fully. He was used to this though at this point of his career. Giving a few short interviews he let his coaches usher him to a shuttle. Yuzuru couldn’t wait to be finished with registration and pass out on his hotel bed. The drive to the city made him feel a bit loopy but his mother helped him get things settled and by the time they arrived at the official hotel he only had to make sure he doesn’t pass out waiting for the elevator. Zoned out he feels his butter nudging at his side and he blinks at her. “What is it?” He asks and she leans in to whisper in his ear. “Isn’t that your Javier?”

Yuzuru is awake in an instant, turning his head so fast he nearly gives himself a whiplash. Right there a few feet away stands Javier, stubbornly staring at the numbers on the elevator display, waiting for the same one he himself was. He swallows hard and the moment Javier turns towards him he looks away. Cowards, he tells himself but suddenly he is wide awake and his heart is beating at a speed he doesn’t even get after a straining free skate. 

What is Javier doing here? Well considering he is here and Javier likes his skating, the question in general is answered but he is in the same hotel as him. Did he know? Yuzuru is so lost in his thoughts he mother has to push him slightly to get him inside the elevator. He ends up closest to the buttons and he collects himself enough to speak. “Which floor?” He can only hope his voice doesn’t waver. Javier is looking at him and visibly swallows. “Five.”

Yuzuru pushes the button with shaking fingers and turns to his mother to ask for their floor. She is now smirking at him and he hates it, that means she knows something he doesn’t and is ready to tease. “Five.” She says in Japanese and Yuzuru wants to clonk his head against the metal wall. This got to be a dream. 

The ride up to the floor is silent and Javier is frozen to a spot, his mother looks beyond pleased and Yuzuru wishes the earth would swallow him. The doors open and he let’s Javier leave first, followed his mother who has the keycards and knows where they need to go. The floor is split with a row of rooms in two directions. Yuzuru is silently praying their are going the opposite but after a quick confirmation she follows behind Javier. 

If he thinks things can’t get worse the two seemingly stop at the same spot. Javier turning to the door on the left and his mother on the right. She looks way too pleased. Yuzuru watches as both their cards turn green and the doors open. It takes all his energy not to scream out loud for how this is even possible. Javier glances in his direction and he straightens his back a bit. He gives him a tentative nod and vanishes inside his room. His mother is still waiting for him to get moving and he does once she calls for him. Yuzuru enters the room and buries his face in his hands.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“No cursing.” Yumi warns him from behind and he turns around to face her.

“But that is Javi there.” He hisses, not wanting to raise his voice in fear it could be heard in the room right across from his. “He is in the same hotel and like… mom his room is right across. What is he even doing in Helsinki? He didn’t mention he was going?”

“He posted about two days ago but you were on your no internet ban, so concentrated on skating I didn’t tell you.” Yuzuru gapes at her, offended she didn’t think this may be an important information for him to know. And to make it worse the universe is really playing him.

“What am I going to do now?” He asks her feeling helpless.

“You are going to take a shower, settle into your room, set your alarm for tomorrow and win yourself a gold medal this weekend.” Yuzuru gives her an unimpressed look, clearly he meant something else. She rolls her eyes in return. “And maybe by the end of it get his number too.” Yumi says grabbing her bag. “I am three rooms down.” With that she vanishes, closing the door behind her, leaving Yuzuru to his thoughts and images of Javier staying for the next five to six days in the room across from his. 

\----

Yuzuru did take his mother's advice and did everything she told him but before he went to sleep he checked Javiers Instagram to find the post she was talking about. And yes, there was an image that confirmed he would be flying to Helsinki even with a few Insta Stories. As if the Universe wasn’t playing him hard enough one of the pictures showed the flight he himself took.

“This is solid a dream… this is...he was even on the same plane as me?” Yuzuru pressed his face into his pillow, muffling a loud frustrated groan. How was he supposed to sleep and compete knowing the one person he wants to impress is actually here in person, right across his room to make it worse?


	8. #8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru doesn’t remember when he fell asleep the only thing he does know that the sound of his alarm came way too early and he still had the phone in his hand. With a groan he pushed himself up from the bed and stretched his arms over his head. Still half asleep he went through his morning routine of stretching, showering and brushing his teeth. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

Yuzuru doesn’t remember when he fell asleep the only thing he does know that the sound of his alarm came way too early and he still had the phone in his hand. With a groan he pushed himself up from the bed and stretched his arms over his head. Still half asleep he went through his morning routine of stretching, showering and brushing his teeth. He was toweling his hair dry when his mother walked into the room pleased to see him awake and getting ready. She had the usual meal containers with her and set everything up in the corner with a small table. 

He completely forgot about Javier until he was dressed and ready to leave for the venue for his afternoon practice and both of them opened the door at the same time. Yuzuru froze, his mother running into his back and complaining to him in Japanese of why he stopped suddenly. “Oh…” She whispered a second later and pushed at his back. “Yuzuru, get going or we are going to be late and you do not want to rush your warm up.” Javier was the first one to move though, giving a small nod in their direction and near sprinting along the corridor to the elevators. 

Yuzuru would have expected for him to leave early to catch other practices maybe but now, life was continuing on the joke to make it extremely awkward. At a second push he finally moved, trying not to glare at his mom. To make things worse than they already were, still stood in front of the elevator, his feet tapping at the ground a bit impatient. Yuzuru wished the ground would swallow him again and make this less awkward. The elevator finally arrived and all of them got inside, this time Javier pushing the button for ground floor. Yumi made sure he was standing next to him and Yuzuru caught the scent of his cologne, trying not to moan because Javier smelt so good. 

By the time they arrived on the ground floor he was having a hard time controlling his heartbeat. The doors slowly opened but before either made a move to leave Javier turned to him, startling him for a second. With a straight look in his eyes he smiled. “Ganbatte.” Yuzuru was sure his jaw hit the floor his body moving automatically to bow a bit. “Arigatou…” Nodding, Javier exited the elevator followed by Yumi, no further words exchanged. 

“Yuzu?” She called for him and he finally moved, barely avoiding the doors from closing again. He half expected her to say something about the exchange but she didn’t, only directed him to the car waiting for him in front of the hotel. 

\----

By the time they got to the arena, Yuzuru collected himself and put his game face on, walking through the small crowd of fans to get to the designated warm up area. He could see that the layout of the arena and placement of the room could be a problem but he didn’t want to address that to his mother, she probably saw it too. Brian and Ghislain were already waiting for him there and they settled down into a corner where he could unroll his mat. 

He went through all the necessary movements, making sure his he is going to be ready for his practice session. He discusses shortly with his coaches what they plan for the half an hour and he packs up his things ready to take the ice. His mother takes his bag from him, Ghislain takes his Pooh and he steps through the curtains leading to the skaters entrance. The screams erupting upon his arrival is nothing he is not used to, he just turns up the volume of his music a bit, walking up and down to keep his muscles warm. 1 minute is remaining from the previous session and he hands his iPod and headphones to Ghislain, daring a quick look around the arena. 

The announcer's voice fill the arena and Yuzuru takes off his skate guards, pressing them to his forehead as his ritual and hands it over to Brian. The gate is opened by one of the volunteers and Yuzuru bends down to touch the ice as greeting and instantly sets off after to get warmed up. He always enjoys the first seconds as his blade hits the ice, the sound and the feeling something he will never stop loving and appreciating. 

15 minutes into his training he glides towards his coaches, reaches under his shirt to remove his heart monitor. As he rips off the band he turns to give it to Brian and that is where his eyes meet Javiers in the stands. He is sitting right behind his coaches and Yuzuru freezes all over again. Brian has to call his name a few times to get his attention and he looks at his coach, reaching with shaking fingers for his bottle. Yuzuru blames his next fall on the wrong position of his arm during take off and not the fact he couldn’t shake Javiers eyes off.

\----

By the time his practice time is over, Yuzuru can’t wait to return to the hotel and hide under his blanket like a teenager he surely isn’t anymore. Nevertheless he had never felt this way towards someone who he barely knew. A quick shower, change of clothes and some media interviews later he is ushered with a more heavy security towards a waiting car. Yumi is silent by his side which is unusual but he is not in for some polite talk himself so he just stares out of the window.

Back inside his room, he unpacks and re-packs his skating bag for the next day, makes sure he has everything for Fridays practice. He sets his alarm anew and allows himself to look out the window of his hotel room for the first time since arriving. Helsinki is beautiful and he wishes he could go out and enjoy some sightseeing. Just as he is considering doing some homework or watch an anime he sees a new message from his mother.

**“There is a small rooftop place here in the hotel, it is very private. I reserved a table for you in case you want to leave your room for a few hours.”**

Yuzuru finds himself smiling and writing a thank you to her. He grabs one of his comfortable hoodies and leaves to take advantage of it. True to his mother's words the place is small and private, only a handful of tables around. He is shown by a waiter to his own secluded spot and he orders an orange juice. His orange juice arrives a few minutes later and he thanks the waiter. What he does not expect is for the same person to approach him and ask if it was possible for a person to have a seat by his table. There must have been a mistake by the reception with a double booking but if he doesn’t want that he will inform the person. Yuzuru asks who the person would be and the waiter points out a guy standing with his back turned towards them. As if he is sensing eyes on him he turns around and Yuzuru gasps.

“Javier…” He breathes out, causing the waiter to raise a brow.

“Do you know him, Sir?” Yuzuru swallows and looks at the guy.

“It fine he sit with me.” The waiter bows and thanks him profusely leading Javier to his table. The older stops a few feet away staring at Yuzuru with wide eyes. The waiter is gone and Javier turns to maybe decline the arrangement. That is where Yuzuru finds him voice.

“Please sit. It’s alright.”


	9. #9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier was excited about going to Finland. He couldn’t really sleep the night before, panicking that he will probably forget something like his best lense with which he intends to take good pictures. He triple checked all his reservations too and how to get from the airport to his hotel. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV, also I am yeeting because I have it ready and idk, I kind of felt like it :P Enjoy!

Javier was excited about going to Finland. He couldn’t really sleep the night before, panicking that he will probably forget something like his best lense with which he intends to take good pictures. He triple checked all his reservations too and how to get from the airport to his hotel. Effie was sulking the moment he took out his bags and she gave him the cold shoulder but when it was time for him to leave her in the care of a friend she was clinging to him. Javier cradled her inside his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“Mi Princessa, I am going to be back soon. It is just a few days.” He let her nuzzle into his chest for a few more minutes than he really had to put her down or he would miss his flight. Effie looked miserable as she sat on the couch, meowing at him to go back. Javier blew her a kiss and quickly left before he decided otherwise. It was a miracle he got good seats, flight and hotel for a competition that was so popular among figure skating fans. He really couldn’t miss this now, even if it means angering or upsetting Effie.

\----

By the time his plane lands in Helsinki he is feeling like he was thrown into a blender. He freshens up in one of the toilets before dragging his suitcase towards the taxi station. He hails a cab and tries his best not to fall asleep in the warm car. Helsinki is a lot colder he had expected and as someone who lives for a long time now in Canada it shouldn’t bother him this much. His car stops in front of the hotel and pays his fair, giving a bit of extra for the driver. Pulling his suitcase behind him and his camera back on his shoulder he approaches the reception. Javier gets his room key quite quickly and he continues towards the elevators. As he is walking towards them he sees two people waiting already, a young looking male and a woman. The bright gold green colored suitcase makes him raise a brow but realization hits when the woman looks behind her. Javier looks to the ground trying to mask his shock.

It is Yumi, Yuzurus mother and as he glances quickly at the profile of the guy he had to bite his lip to stop himself from gasping. Yuzuru Hanyu in flesh. He stubbornly stares at the numbers of the elevator display just to stop himself from looking again. This can’t be real, it must be a dream. 

It is not because all three of them get inside in the elevator and he hears Yuzuru addressing him.

“Which floor?” Javier opens his mouth, closes it then finally speaks. “Five.” Yuzuru pushes the button and turns to his mother. He doesn’t understand what he asks but he can guess it is about their own floor. To his shock he doesn’t push another button. Javier has to close his eyes because this is really too much. He is way too tired for this kind of shock.

To make matters worse as he exists the elevator on the correct floor and makes his way towards the room assigned to him, the two are following him. It feels slightly creepy he has to admit but he has no time to consider that because apparently he found his room. Javier swipes his card and hears the same sound behind him. His head whips around and he can’t help but stare as Yumi opens the door to the room opposite of his. His eyes lock with Yuzuru who appears to be startled too and he gives a small nod of his head hurrying inside his room.

With the door shut he leans against the wood and stares up at the ceiling. “You gotta be kidding me...What the fuck is happening?”

\----

Javier spent his evening freaking about all that happened, causing him to sleep late and by the time he was awake he had missed most of the practices of the day. At least he would be on time for the mens practice if he left quickly. Getting ready and gathering his things he opened the door. He froze because at the same time the door to the opposite room opened too and Yuzuru appeared. Javier moves first hurrying towards the elevators but the universe was really making it hard. Yuzuru and Yumi caught up with him as the damn thing didn’t want to come faster. They ended up sharing again, this time it was him though to push the button. 

During the ride down he wondered if he should say something. Yuzuru doesn’t know him and their encounters are weird. He was sure the skater could tell he was a fan and maybe would be creeped out by him. The elevator stopped and the doors slowly opened. In that second he just ignored all the anxiety and turned to Yuzuru.

“Ganbatte.” He spoke softly, giving a small nod and made a sprint for it. He caught the surprised “Arigatou.” though and he had to bite his cheek from smiling too much.

\----

Javier arrived in the arena, got himself a cup of coffee then searched for his seat. It surprised him how good it was, giving him perfect view on the skaters entrance. A small shiver went down his spine, excitement filling his bones. The first group of men was nice to watch and he took some pictures, mostly to test the perfect setting. He apologized mentally for not giving more attention to the others in that aspect. Hopefully later on he will be more committed.

Suddenly the arena burst out in screams and his eyes snapped to the curtain. As suspected Yuzuru appeared with his coach close behind him. Javier raised his camera to take his first pictures. Javier ended up hiding behind his camera for the first half of the practice which he didn’t mind because with his lens he could easily follow Yuzuru around even if he was on the other side of the ice. 

The sound of camera shutters increased as Yuzuru reached under his shirt to remove something. Javier nearly dropped his camera, staring at the skater. Yuzuru turned around to give the item to Brian and the world stopped for a few seconds. Their eyes locked and Javier was sure he didn’t even blink. He swallowed, feeling his heart skipping a beat. Yuzuru was the first to break the contact.

Javier dropped his gaze to the floor too only to have it rise at the sound of loud gasps. Yuzuru was laying on the ice, obviously after a fall and he didn’t know how to take this anymore. He couldn’t ignore the fact they kept locking eyes or how tense Yuzuru appeared to be around him.

Could it be that he knows who he is? But that is not possible? It may be known that he lurks on social media but he had only started sharing his images since ACI. Even after the practice had ended he couldn’t stop thinking about it all. To distract himself he asked at the reception if there was some kind of bar at the hotel, more private than the one in the Lobby. To his surprise he got confirmation about a rooftop one and the girl at the counter made a reservation for him too. 

Putting his gear in his room and freshening up he made his way up to the right floor. A waiter greeted him but the second he checked the reservation the mood shifted. He looked distressed and explained that there must have been a mistake because the table he reserved is already taken but he shall check with the person if he can join. Javier didn’t want to cause any trouble but the guy was already off. Javier allowed himself to look around the place as he waited. A small shiver ran down his spine though and he turned to check if someone was looking at him or something. His eyes settled on the corner the waiter vanished to and as he stepped aside he could see the guy he was talking to.

Yuzuru. 

The waiter approached him again and guided him towards the table. He vaguely caught on that Yuzuru gave his approval that he can sit with him. Nevertheless he was hesitating to do so. The skater looked at him and gave a small smile.

“Please sit. It’s alright.”

Javier swallowed, slowly sitting down opposite of Yuzuru, unsure of what to say. Surreal didn’t quite describe the situation or his past 24 hours at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Am I evil enough yet? I wasn't kidding when I said "slow burn". You are all in for a ride HAHAHA.


	10. #10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier ordered a drink but he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Yuzuru. The younger fidgeted a little bit in his seat under his gaze. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Javier ordered a drink but he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Yuzuru. The younger fidgeted a little bit in his seat under his gaze. 

“Uhm… thank you for letting me sit here with you.” He finally found his voice and Yuzuru smiled at him. 

“It’s alright. Honest mistake and you wanted relax?” Javier nodded his head.

“I am Javier by the way. Javier Fernandez.” He introduced himself, reaching over the table to shake Yuzurus hand.

“I kno--I mean I am Yuzuru...Hanyu.” The younger obviously hesitant but shook his hand firmly. Javier was happy the place had dimmed lights because he felt heat rising in his cheeks. “You know I am...I mean this morning and arena...I saw you.” 

Javier dropped his gaze to the table feeling embarrassed. “Yeah, I know who you are...but I don’t want you to think I am some crazy fan or something. I genuinely...I am shocked how things are. We keep meeting and like...I don’t know. Maybe I should go, this must be awkward for you.” He was about to rise but Yuzuru reached over the small table and grabbed his wrist.

“No...stay...please.” He slowly lowered himself back in his seat, staring at the way Yuzuru was holding onto him. The younger must have realized and quickly pulled his hand away. “Sorry… I just. I don’t think you are a bad person. I can see it from reactions. It fine.” Javier allowed himself to relax at that a bit.

“Thanks.”

Silence fell over them, each taking a few sips from their respective drinks but to Javiers surprise it was comfortable. Yuzuru appeared to be relaxing a bit more as well and it made hims smile against the rim of his glass.

“Uhm…I saw you taking pictures...are you a photographer?” Javier blinked, not having expected the other to start small talk.

“No.. I am actually here for my hobby, I take pictures for fun, though I have recently starting sharing them. Since...awkward but since I was at Autumn Classic. Uhm… I am a Youtuber, I make videos.” Javier explained and Yuzuru listened, his lip curling up in another smile. It looked so nice on him that he forgot what else he wanted to say.

“What are videos about?” Yuzuru asked.

“Cooking… I really like cooking and I am fairly successful with the content I make.” 

From there on their conversation flowed a bit more fluently, exchanging some information though Javier was sharing more than Yuzuru. He could understand that though, he was still a famous skater and it was wise not to share private information to a stranger like him. 

They ended up talking for about two hours until Yuzurus phone rang inside his pocket and he gasped at the time. “Sorry.. I have to go...tomorrow...is…” Javier smiled.

“I understand. Let me handle the bill and you go and rest.” Yuzuru was about to protest but Javier shook his head. “Please let me, especially since you let me sit here and even talked to me.” He watched as the younger bit down on his lower lip but nodded.

“Thank you Javier…”

“Javi is fine.” Yuzuru brightened at that, nodding again. “Thank you and goodnight Javi.” The way he pronounced his name made him chuckle, it was just too adorable.

“Goodnight Yuzuru.” With a small bow the younger left and Javier stayed in his seat, leaning back trying to grasp the past two hours really happened.

\----

Javier woke up with the same smile he went to sleep on his face and this time early enough to catch other practices. He settled into his seat just when the first group of ladies was announced and he gave himself a pat on the shoulder. He should make good use of his all event ticket. Time went by fast and it was soon time for mens. Javier got immersed in his photography, only alerted about the arrival of Yuzuru by the screams and increase of camera shutters. He couldn’t help but smile watching the skater walking up and down at a stretch of carpet. By now he also got used to the way his heart beat faster and skipped a few beats. Yuzuru glanced up and he was sure they made eye contact through his lens because he had the image taken. Javier lowered the camera and Yuzurus lips twitched, obviously fighting the urge to smile. As fast the moment came it passed, both returning to the task at hand. 

\----

Javier remained in the arena until the Ladies short program was done, he felt a twinge in his shoulder by the end and he decided to return to his hotel. The schedule for the mens practice on Saturday meant he actually had to wake up early. Way too early for his own standards. 

“The things I do for him…” He chuckled in amusement stepping inside the elevator in his hotel room. While swiping his card he couldn’t help but look at the door to Yuzurus room. They haven’t had any other chance encounter today and aside from the quick look before the practice, Yuzuru was immersed in his practice; with right. 

A quick shower and some room service dinner later, he was browsing through his photographs. He decided to upload some of them because even he had to say they were good for a beginner like himself. Javier also updated his regular social media with a few images he took. 

**yypooh liked your post: Helsinki is truly beautiful. Tomorrow is the short program. Looking forward to see some magic happen on ice again. **

Javier took a double take at that, doing the math in his head for the time back in Canada. Unusual because if his calculations were right the person was never active around that time. Shrugging it off he put his phone aside and buried himself in his sheets. Better to get some sleep than to worry about someone else's online activity.

\----

If Javiers tired mind didn’t remind him of the reason why his alarm was ringing at 5 a.m on a Saturday morning he would have chunked it against the wall. With a tired groan he rolled out of his bed and went for the showers. He needed to wake up so a cold one should help him and for once he used one of the coffee packets provided in his room. He needed a good amount of caffeine and he didn’t think any of the stalls in the arena will be open shortly after 6.am. Mens practice will start at 7 but considering that half of the arena would be fans of Yuzuru, he expects a line in front of it and he can’t risk not to get to his seat on time. 

Javier gets dressed, extra warm because he will have to walk a bit more than the previous days, checks his gear and drops in a few snacks he found in his suitcase the night before. Better to be safe than sorry. He opens his door shortly after 5:30 a.m and stops for a second. There he is the reason who he woke up for this early, leaving his own room. The two look at each other and Javier can’t help but offer a smile to him, hoping the dark bags under his eyes are not as horrible as the bathroom lighting made them look like. Yuzuru returns the smile. 

  
“Good morning.” He adds and Javier says the same. Both lock their doors and walk towards the elevators side by side. Yumi is right behind them and Javier can feel her assessing eyes on him but ignores it for the favour of having Yuzuru this close without any level of awkwardness. Javier knows it is going to be a great day already. 


	11. #11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru feels good when he wakes up, even if the time is not one of his favourites. Many people may think he is a morning person but he is not, he likes to sleep in if possible, though his body is so used to waking up early it doesn’t always happen. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV. Please note there won't be any updates over the weekend. I won't have really access to a PC and I am running behind with chapters written in advance. See you on Monday!

Yuzuru feels good when he wakes up, even if the time is not one of his favourites. Many people may think he is a morning person but he is not, he likes to sleep in if possible, though his body is so used to waking up early it doesn’t always happen. Today though he has an important day. First practice, some interviews and later after noon it’s time for the short program. He is excited to show his fans his upgraded costume. He half expects some shocked gasps because there have been slight adjustments made nobody knew about. Not even his coaches, maybe Ghislain suspects something else but that’s all.

In the car to the venue his mother kept looking at him with a questioning gaze though she appeared as if she didn’t know if she should ask, right before an important day. Yuzuru sighed and turned to her.

“Yesterday at the rooftop place, there was a mix-up and they double booked my table. It was Javier and I was asked if I am okay with him sitting with me. I agreed. We ended up introducing ourselves and talking for two hours. I only realized it was time to get some sleep when my phone rang...that is all that happened, okay?” Yumi blinked at her son but nodded.

“Yes. Okay.” Luckily that was the only thing he heard from her and he appreciated it. 

\----

Yuzuru goes through his warm up with a better mood and his coaches can see it too, though they believe it is due to him being well rested and concentrating. Smiling to himself he stretches every muscle he can, then goes through his short program in the warm up area. He feels ready when it is time to go for his practice and at the end he feels good. The ice appears to be softer and he may need to adjust his jumps but it was a good session in his eyes. Brian moved their previous set up and he ends up in an angle that if he just raises his head he is looking at Javier. It is distracting the least but he pushes past that. He needs a clean short today, he is hungry to win.

\----

During the hours between the practice and short program, Yuzuru returns to the hotel shortly, not risking to stay at the arena as the amount of fans waiting in the corridor has increased, so did his security at this point. He meets with his coaches and goes through his layout, plans regarding the jumps and how he may need to fix his toe jumps if the ice remains as soft as it felt during practice. Yuzuru takes his bags along with his costume and he is back in the arena again. 

The number of Japanese TV cameras has increased and he fleetingly sees Nobu too, smiling in his direction then returns to his warm up again. He is bobbing and mouthing the lyrics to the songs on his playlist. His pre-skate ritual even as he steps out from behind the curtains, it muffles the excited screams just enough. Yuzuru jumps up a few times, checking his arm position and waits to take the ice for warm up. He is buzzing with energy and needs to feel ice under his skates.

The lights dim and Yuzuru takes off his skate guards, holds them to his forehead and finally steps on the ice to skate to the middle. Each skater in his group is announced and when his name is called the noise intensifies. He greets his audience and the second the lights are back on he darts off to make use of the six minutes as best he can. 

Two minutes in he approaches the boards where his coaches are staying and unzips his jacket. He glances up to see Javier with an open mouth staring, he has to bite the inside of his cheek. Good. He likes the upgraded costume. Handing his jacket over he skates off again, the sound of camera shutters following him around the rink.

\----

The time before his skate goes by quick, so does the program itself. Some of the landings could have been prettier in his mind and he will have to work on them, nevertheless he throws himself into his step sequence to the screams of the crowd. It is so loud he can’t hear his own music but he had skated to Otonal so many times he can hear it in his mind. And then it is his final spins and finishing pose. The noise is deafening, all he sees are Poohs flying on the ice. He feels satisfied. 

Yuzuru bows to the audience, thanking his fans for the support, trying to skate around all the toys towards the Kiss & Cry where his coaches are waiting for him. Yuzuru glides into the awaiting arms of Brian and collapses slightly against him. He is hearing praises and he is happy, then he turns to bend down and thank the ice but the sound of a loud thud catches his attention. Turning his head he sees a purse on the ice among the toys and he frowns for a second, then shrugs. Maybe some kind of heavier present tough it looked like one of the purses his mother would use. He takes a mental note to check in with the volunteers later or ask his coaches to do that. 

He sits down on the small bench and accepts Pooh from Ghislain, smiling and instantly chatting away with them about his skate. Both look pleased by his performance regardless of the wobbly landings. The camera is turned on in front of them and the crowd screams of seeing him on the big screens. Yuzuru bows, says his thank you, then bows and claps for his coaches. 

“Yuzuru Hanyu earned himself in the short program a 106.69 points and is currently in first place. “ Yuzuru can’t believe what he is seeing, he feels happy and his coaches are too. A new world record under the new system at his first grand prix assignment. A wonderful start especially after ACI, which he is still bitter about. He bows over and over again, making his way from the Kiss & Cry backstage. On his way there he looks up where Javier is seated and received a nod and upload from him, mouthing a ‘wow’. Yuzuru is swept off by coached, media and people from his Federation before he can mouth his ‘thank you’. 

\----

It feels like years have passed since his short program and it is later into the evening when he finally returns to his room. Somehow he expects to see Javier in the elevator or by the door of their rooms but it doesn’t happen. He looks crestfallen and Yumi sighs by his side. Without thinking twice she knocks on the door of Javiers room, shocking Yuzuru with her actions, he is about to scold her for doing something so crazy but in that moment the door opens. Javier appears wearing comfortable clothes his eyes widening at the scene in front of him. Yumi is smirking and walking away towards her room. Yuzuru is standing right there with his hands on his luggage, door half open to his own room.

“Oh...I...uhm.” Yuzuru stutters, words not coming to him at all.

Javier smiles at him. “Congratulations on the new world record. You were incredible.” Yuzuru knows he is blushing now because his cheek feel extremely hot. 

“Thank you...I...sorry, mom did that. I don’t know why. You are not at the arena anymore?” Javier shook his head then his hand reached up to scratch his nape, looking embarrassed.

“I couldn’t exactly concentrate on what else was happening. I did watch Ladies but came back right after. You are only returning now?” Yuzuru nodded.

“Media...” Yuzuru shifts from one foot to the other. 

“Do you want to maybe grab a drink together?” Javier asks and Yuzuru perks up at that a little bit. “I have the table upstairs and...uhm...if you want we can go there for a bit. Unless you are tired and I am probably overstepping here and---” Yuzuru cuts him off.

“I would like to. Just...I will put things away and change. 10 minutes?” Javier brightens up and nods. 

“Yeah...see you in 10.” Yuzuru bows and walks into his room, closing the door behind himself. He leans against the door, biting his lower lip, his heart beating faster than when he heard his new world record score.


	12. #12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier stepped back inside his room and he had to lean against the wall for support. He couldn’t believe it. Yumi knocked on his door, with the intention to get the two of them talk. There was no mistaking why she would do that. Then he dared to ask Yuzuru out for a drink and the younger agreed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Javier stepped back inside his room and he had to lean against the wall for support. He couldn’t believe it. Yumi knocked on his door, with the intention to get the two of them talk. There was no mistaking why she would do that. Then he dared to ask Yuzuru out for a drink and the younger agreed. Was this a date? What was it going to be? They are not exactly friends who could just enjoy a few hours in the evening. Yuzuru was also competing, the fact he agreed the night before the free program, left him questioning that maybe this is all just a dream. Media and fans painted the skater as someone who never went out, especially not during competition. He had to shake himself back to reality because he wasted at last five minutes with his life crisis. Javier quickly grabbed his jeans to change into an a casual shirt with v-neck. He didn’t want to go too formal but also not stay in his sweats he intended to sleep in. He glances at the mirror to fix some of his curls then takes a deep breath and opens the door.

The corridor is empty and Javier wonders that maybe Yuzuru would back down and he will have to hide now from the skater until the competitions ends. He is spiraling again with his thoughts but is saved the the opening of the door in front of him. Yuzuru steps out in a similar outfit as his, silky hair falling in his eyes. 

“Hi..” They greet at the same time, chuckling and Javier motions for them to go. The silence between them is comfortable just like the other day and they soon are up at the rooftop place; same table with drinks in front of them.

“Thank you for agreeing to come. I hope it won’t disturb your concentration.” Yuzuru is holding his orange juice with both hands and shakes his head.

  
“It is fine, I am too excited to sleep yet. This better than sitting in room staring at ceiling.” Javier grins.

“I am happy I am more entertaining than a wall.” Yuzuru gasps, ready to apologize for his words but Javier shakes his head, laughing. “I am joking. It’s alright. You must be really happy. I am the same and I am not the one with the world record.” Yuzuru fidgets in his seat.

“I am happy. ACI wasn’t how I wanted season to start. It is nice to see good scores. Tomorrow I will have to work hard too. I want gold. I never win first assignment.” Javier takes a sip from his drink.

“Ah, right. This will be the first time you win gold.” It is not a if or maybe in his eyes and he can see the younger understands his words and smiles softly. Javier has no doubt that tomorrow he is going to see a beautiful Origin. “I will cheer for you tomorrow too. I have my camera ready too. I will take more pictures.” Yuzuru perks up at that.

“Can I see pictures?” Javier blinks at the unusual question.

“You want to see the images I took from you?” Yuzuru nods a couple of times, leaning forward in his chair, excitement written all over his face. 

“I have only the ones I uploaded to my site on my phone...is that okay?” Yuzuru nods again and Javier takes out his phone, unlocking it to reveal a picture of Effie. The younger cooed at the pictures and for a minute or two their initial intention derails to speak about his cat. But then he remembers what he wanted to show and he opens his web-page, loading the recent images of the practices and short program. Yuzuru takes his phone and leans in to look at the images, his mouth forming a small ‘o’. 

“Javier is good... “ He praised and Javier can’t help but blush.

“It is really easy to take pictures of you, your form is beautiful no matter what you do.” Javier looks up and only then does he realize that they are sitting close, if he just leans a bit forward their noses would bump. He swallows and stares in those dark eyes of the skater. Neither of them move away until the phone of Yuzuru breaks the relative silence of the rooftop bar. The two jump apart and the skater apologizes.

“Oh...it’s mom. I...have to go.” Javier looks at the time and groans. 

“I am so sorry, I did not see it’s this late…” Yuzuru shakes his head. “I didn’t see either.” Slowly the two raise from their chair and Javier insists on paying again. They leave together and when they stop in front of their rooms, Javier turns to Yuzuru.

“Good luck tomorrow, though I know you don’t need it. You are going to be amazing.” Yuzuru bows his head a bit shy at the words.

“I will do my best tomorrow. Good night.” Javier raises his hand for a small wave and steps inside his room. Yuzuru does the same. 

\----

Javier lays awake for another hour or two recalling every single moment at the rooftop bar. He could still feel the heat coming from the youngers body from how close they sat and subtle smell of something citrusy. He buries his face in his pillow groaning.

“Fuck. I really like him.”

\----

Javier wakes up with a goofy smile on his face, he doesn’t even mind that it is yet again an early morning for him on a weekend. He takes a shower, drinks his coffee and eats a granola bar. He makes sure all his batteries are charged, his gear is packed nicely. He slings the bag over his shoulder and leaves. He doesn’t see Yuzuru as he leaves but the younger may have already left to get to the arena on time for warm up. 

Getting to his seat appeared to be a bit of a task, since it was weekend more people decided to come even for the practices and it was also not as early as the day before. Once settled in he took out his camera, checking his settings against and adjusting while the first group of men took the ice for their practice. By the time Yuzuru appeared again he felt so jittery he hoped he could keep his hands from shaking. He didn’t want blurry images. 

Yuzuru doesn’t look in his direction all throughout his practice session and Javier understands it. Today was serious business and he wouldn’t want to be a distraction, he already walked a razors edge with last night's meeting. He gets beautiful images though because just as he said to Yuzuru, it is easy to take good pictures of him. Whatever he does it is gorgeous. His lines are mesmerizing and the way he carries himself in general is something out of this world. No other skater in his eyes has the same aura as Yuzuru.


	13. #13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The organization regarding the schedule for the competition was questionable because right after the men’s practice everyone had to leave the arena. They close the doors to the stairs and partially asked all fans to leave the premises completely._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV. Also not sure if there will be an update tomorrow, running behind with my writing, will have to see. Thanks for understanding!

The organization regarding the schedule for the competition was questionable because right after the men’s practice everyone had to leave the arena. They close the doors to the stairs and partially asked all fans to leave the premises completely. Javier sighed but he was one of the first ones to leave, deciding to use his time to go back to his hotel, sort through some pictures, schedule some uploads and such. He actually had to tackle an upload for his cooking channel to ensure it was published before the Men’s free program would start.

Two hours later he closed his laptop, grabbed his camera equipment and took the trip back to the arena. Luckily the line in front was short and he could get inside, he even managed to get himself a cup of coffee. Javier felt nervous, his fingers were slightly shaking. He looked forward to seeing Origin, he loved that program the best this season, the costume breathtaking as well and he knew Yuzuru made some changes to his layout; his practice has shown that. Now the question was if he could perform it to his level of satisfaction. Javier threw away his empty paper cup and walked to his seat again, greeting some of the ladies who have been sitting next to him the past days. Making himself comfortable he prepared his camera again, waiting for the second group to appear on the ice. He couldn’t quite concentrate on the first group. Most of them did well considering and he got a few good shots of some skaters he neglected the days before in the sense of photography but the closer they got to the warm up time of group two, the more inpatient he was growing to be.

He got saved by the loud screams of the fans and he knew Yuzuru appeared. Two seconds later the younger entered his line of vision and Javier gulped. He would never not feel a shiver running down his spine by the gel back hair and intense eyes. Before Yuzuru stepped on the ice he scanned the arena and Javier met his eyes for a split second, just a single second but he felt warmth inside his chest. Oh he was definitely whipped for Yuzuru. Then it was time for the skaters to take the ice. Javier raised his camera and started to shoot.

Yuzuru looked demanding, highly concentrated on his upcoming task and Javier felt goosebumps all over his skin, which only intensified when he zipped down his Team Japan jacket and his Origin costume got revealed. It was still as beautiful if not more than at ACI. Javier struggled a bit with his hand coordination but he tried to keep his cool. He let the freaking out to the hundred of other fans in the arena. 

Six minutes were up and Yuzuru left until his time on the ice would come. Javier took that as his time to collect himself and contemplate if he should be taking pictures or not. He preferred not to because he just wanted to enjoy watching Yuzuru skate but at the same time he wished to preserve these moments too. In the end he kept his camera out and decided to take a couple of pictures if he could get good ones.

\----

“The following skater, representing Japan, Yuzuru Hanyu.” The noise in the arena was deafening and Javier wondered if maybe he should have taken some earplugs with him. It was so much louder that the days before, seats occupied up to the ceiling. Yuzuru greeted the audience, did his round, marked his first jump, crossed his hand over his chest and then gave him cue. 

For four and half minutes or a few seconds longer Javier was left speechless. Though Yuzuru had a few shaky landings he still did his combination that sent the whole arena shaking, the screams going louder. It was pure magic what he witnessed and he was shaken to his very core. His breathing turned faster, his heart was beating rapidly inside his chest just as much as Yuzurus as he took his final pose and the music stopped. Javier could feel it, it would be another world record score, it had to be or nothing in life will make sense. The shower of Poohs began and Yuzuru stood, waiting for his name to be called again but there was some kind of delay. He started to bow when the voice of the female announcer filled the arena. 

Yuzuru skated around the toys and flowers towards Brian and Javier took that opportunity to take more pictures, capturing their hug. He felt so incredibly proud of what the skater had put on the ice, it was beautiful but still just a rough diamond in the making. He almost felt scared to see where this program could be taken over the course of the season. 

“Yuzuru Hanyu has earned himself in the free skate a score of 190.43 and his overall score is 297.12. He is now currently in first place.”

“So close…” He whispered just the moment Yuzuru did the same gesture in the Kiss & Cry. He almost broke the 300 point barrier again in the new system. Incredible. Javier shook his head, unbelieving of how much of a great skater they were seeing on the ice. Yuzuru stood up and left but he did glance in his direction again, smiling brightly and Javier couldn’t help but return the smile. He could care less right now, Yuzuru looked at him, smiled and he was just as happy for his scores as the skater was. Later there will be some complains, as usual but nevertheless he knew the win was guaranteed for him. His lead score would be too hard for anyone to surpass. 

\----

The victory ceremony left such a bright smile on his face all throughout that he could feel his cheeks hurting already. He even snorted after the initial shock of Yuzuru nearly tripping over the carpet to get to the podium. Junhwan winning bronze was amazing, Michal finally getting a win after so many struggles as well. The men’s podium was of so many hardworking and strong skaters, Javier looked forward to the season and to see how they would grow further. But out of all of them Yuzuru shined the brightest, smiling, giggling and teasing Junhwan. he didn’t care about it all, he radiated pure happiness. He deserved it too, his first gold at his season starting grand prix assignment, something he had not achieved before.

Javier couldn’t help but wish for a split second that he could approach Yuzuru and hug him, tell him how proud he was of his win but he was just a fan in the crowd, nothing more. Yuzuru took all the pictures the photographers wanted from him, shook hands with many, ruffled the hair of some kids and then off he was backstage to get to the press conference. Javier quickly shook the negative thoughts away, he wanted to grab a coffee and maybe a snack before the gala starts. 

Nobody knew what program Yuzuru would be skating to but Javier had an idea, he could feel it in his bones just like he could feel the world record scores. Today they would see how Spring comes. 


	14. #14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The gala turned out of to be one of the best ones he has seen since he had become a figure-skating fan. It was fun, entertaining and the audience engaged whenever they could. Time was flying so fast he didn’t even realize it would be soon time for Yuzuru to take the ice. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

The gala turned out of to be one of the best ones he has seen since he had become a figure-skating fan. It was fun, entertaining and the audience engaged whenever they could. Time was flying so fast he didn’t even realize it would be soon time for Yuzuru to take the ice. But then he caught a glimpse of pink and shiny in the corner of his eyes and he snapped his head in that direction instantly. His lips parted in awe because there he was, wearing Haru yo Koi costume from the summer shows. Javier swallowed and let himself drink in the view. Even in the low light it looked incredible, the stones casting different specks of light all around Yuzuru. He was warming up, moving his shoulders, stretching and whatever was necessary before his skate. Each movement mesmerizing with that costume on. 

Javier lost track who was on the ice, taking their bows, eyes only one on person. Yuzuru stepped through the small gate, waiting in the shadows but the murmur only grew louder, people seeing more of him. Excitement bubbled up again in the arena and Javier could understand them all. The spotlight turned on and Yuzuru smiled, taking Javiers breath away and he didn’t even start moving. He pressed a hand to his heart willing it to calm down somehow while the younger moved towards the center of the eyes, greeting the audience. 

Yuzuru gave his cue, took his starting position and the second the music started to play, Javier felt the tears streaming down his face. 

Javier hadn’t cried many times in his life before, a few emotional occasions, the last one leaving his family in Spain to move to Toronto. Since then things have been stable but here and there certain moods shadowed his usually bright personally. So it comes to him as a surprise how the few tunes of a piano and Yuzuru on the ice can bring tears to his eyes. He tries to blink them away as he watches but they keep rolling down his cheeks. It is all so magical and the way Yuzuru conveys the meaning on the song.

  
“Spring will come…” Javier whispers watching a beautiful spin and reaches up to wipe at his cheeks. His mind is running a mile and minute, memories of happy and sad moments come and go, his heart is racing but also calm at the same time. It is confusing, all the things he is feeling all at once; all because of Yuzuru performing. He hears a few sniffs from around him and he knows he is not the only one being emotional about this performance. Yuzuru throws some ice in the air, as if he makes petals rain and the audience applauds. Every single movement right to the tips of his fingers is gorgeous, telling the complete story, giving the people hope that better times will come. Winter will pass and spring will bring flowers and happiness.

The music fades and Yuzuru stops, raising his gaze towards the sky and Javier along with other stands up, clapping his hand so hard it almost hurts. Yuzuru bows to the audience glides towards the exit right in front of him. All the skaters are lining up for the finale and the music is so much brighter. Javier doesn’t even care about that music, he keeps his eyes on Yuzuru, who dances away to the peppy beat, looking extremely happy. One by one the skaters go on the ice and he is advancing forward for the last moments of the gala. 

Right before he goes on the ice again he looks back towards Javiers section and smiles brightly. Javier has to close his eyes at the force of warmth it sends down his spine. Suddenly the arena was so small, he couldn’t hear the screams of thousands of people. It was just him and Yuzuru and he couldn’t take the volume of it. A short existential crisis later he turned his attention back to the ice, at least he tried to the best of his abilities. Skaters were dancing, joking around, bundling up for a group photo. Yuzuru skated to the back, behind the taller guys and jumped a few times. Javier laughed at his childish antics until two guys just hoisted him up, almost making him lay on their shoulders. Yuzuru laughed with his head thrown back but the fun drained from him.

Javier averted his eyes, opting to stare at his shoes instead. He knew what this feelings was, he wasn’t the type but after the few moments he had shared with Yuzuru over the course of the competition this truly hurt him. Javier was jealous, very much so. Things felt suffocating now for a whole different reason and he was thankful for the show wrapping up and slowly people leaving the ice. Yuzuru stayed behind just as usual, Javier for once wished he would hurry backstage so he make his own escape and deal with his emotions in piece. Instead the younger stayed there and waited for the announcer to quiet down so he could scream his signature “Thank you” to all present. Javier sat so close, heard those words loud and clear and when Yuzuru turned towards his section he dropped his gaze. He couldn’t look him in the eyes now, not when his emotions were written all over his face. Javier was a nobody to Yuzuru, barely knows him for a few days if he can even count this as ‘knowing’ him.

The crowd slowly dies down, Yuzuru having left, fans getting up from their seats, bidding goodbye to each other. Javier receives a couple of nods himself and he gives them a smile, albeit strained. As soon as he is allowed to walk without stopping every two seconds due to the mass of people he hurries back to his hotel room. 

Back in the safety and seclusion of his room, he let’s the tears fall again but this time due to the realization that in less than 12 hours hours he will be flying back to Toronto and whatever he had here; will be gone. He won’t meet Yuzuru again, they won’t be talking to each other. Whatever he thought was developing here was an illusion, a spur of the moment. He has also no right to feel jealous of other men touching Yuzuru, he is not his boyfriend, not even a simple friend. Javier buries his face in his pillow to scream his frustration out without alerting the whole hotel. Right before he falls asleep feeling exhausted he wonders if Yuzuru would want to see him today but he shakes that off.

“Javier, get it together, you are a nobody to him.” He falls asleep thinking of he skater regardless. Javier doesn’t hear the gentle knock on his door through the noise in his head in his deep slumber.


	15. #15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru was soaring, it was all amazing for him. He had won and currently even his mistakes didn’t bother him as much, he will revisit them later for sure. Right now he had won gold at his first grand prix assignment of a new season, something he had not achieved in his career yet._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

Yuzuru was soaring, it was all amazing for him. He had won and currently even his mistakes didn’t bother him as much, he will revisit them later for sure. Right now he had won gold at his first grand prix assignment of a new season, something he had not achieved in his career yet. It felt good, it gave him back the fire he was missing a bit after Pyeongchang. He saw so many new opportunities, way to improve himself further on the ice, the challenge in some of the other skaters. Yuzuru smiled so brightly since the final standing was announced his cheeks were hurting and he couldn’t help but seek out Javier in the crowd a couple of times too.

He performed Haru Yo Koi with everything and more he could offer with the little energy he had left. The whole schedule for the day has been rather packed. Practice, Gala practices, interviews and more interviews; free program followed by a dozen more, victory ceremony, probably the hundred interview or comment he gave that day; then the gala. He didn’t even step off the ice and he had so many people around him, asking for pictures and autographs and just to shake his hand. It wasn’t something he hadn’t experienced before but he felt exhausted, he wanted it all to be over so he can really enjoy the moment.

Yuzuru doesn’t even know what time it is when he finally steps foot in his hotel and tries to pass all the fans waiting in the Lobby for him. He bows and greets them but his steps are steady and he hurries along with his security detail. He allows himself to breathe out the second the door of his room closes behind him. His mother is with him, helping him unpack and repack for the travel home. Their flight would leave early afternoon so if he pushes all this he can sleep in, rest before a long travel again. She smiles at him as she brushes some hair from his eyes.

“I am incredibly proud of you. You did well this weekend.” Yuzuru hugs her, letting it linger for a little bit. They rarely do if he is honest with himself but it is not really needed. They spend so much time with each other they can understand each gesture without words spoken between them; physical affection less. Sometimes Yuzuru cannot handle them as well, she just knows when he needs a hug and let’s him indulge in the moment. Yuzuru pulls away and smiles at her.

“Thank you, Mom.” She presses her hand against his cheek again, then ushers him to finish picking what he needs for tomorrow so they both can go and rest. Ten minutes later she bids him goodnight and Yuzuru sits down on his bed. It is then when it occurs to him that he had not seen Javier tonight. It is very possible he returned to the hotel hours before he did but he somehow missed speaking to him. Maybe they could even celebrate a little bit. Yuzuru had the simply and strong urge to see the Spanish man. Screw consequences.

Yuzuru got up from the bed, checked his hair in the mirror and pocketing his keycard he stepped out of his room. Crossing the few steps towards Javiers bedroom he inhaled to gather all his courage. He knocked and the waited. Nothing. 

Minutes passed, he tried a second time but there was no reaction. All his excitement turned into disappointment and with hunched shoulders he returned to his room. Maybe Javier already left the country.

\----

Yuzuru woke up feeling cranky and his mother could see his sour mood from miles away. 

“What is it Yuzu? You don’t look like you are happy?” They were eating breakfast in his room and he just kept picking at his rice instead of actually eating it.

“I just--- I don’t know.”

“It’s that Javi boy isn’t it?” Yuzuru tensed up, feeling as his cheeks started to heat with a blush and put his chopsticks down before he would drop it completely. “I am guessing that you haven’t seen him since you glanced at him at the arena a few times?” Yuzuru wanted to deny it but he couldn’t. He just shook his head lightly, letting out a sigh. 

“I tried knocking last night but he didn’t open. I guess he was asleep or maybe he already left Helsinki. I don’t know but...I just wanted to show him my medal.” He glanced out of the window, lips downcast. He felt his mother reach over and pat his arm lightly. 

“I am sure he just didn’t hear you knocking. It was very late last night when he returned. I saw him fleetingly after the gala and he looked exhausted. Like really worn out. It has been a long weekend for him too and I think your gala performance may have stirred up some emotions…” Yuzuru looked at her with a frown.

“What do you mean?”

“Check his account darling...but after you have eaten a bit more rice.” Yuzuru opened his mouth to talk about that a bit more but Yumi gave him a stern look and he picked up his chopsticks again. He wouldn’t want to upset his mother for no eating his breakfast. Once they were done and everything was cleared he took out his phone to check on Javiers account. There in his last post on his personal was a picture of him in his Haru Yo Koi costume in his Ina Bauer pose. It was a beautiful picture taken but the caption made his breath catch in his throat. 

**“How do you define beauty? I always thought about it whenever I looked at things, or took photos but I can’t seem to truly find the answer. To me it is something other worthy, something you may not even be able to grasp with your hands. It is so precious you are scared to taint it with your touch, so you just keep looking, hoping that it is enough. This kind of beauty is Yuzuru Hanyu to me, from his skating to his personality to his smiles or laughs. He is someone so precious the world does not deserve. My trip to Helsinki is closing off with me being yet again swept off my feet by what he can put on the ice and what he is off the ice. **

**He is beauty. He is grace. He is everything that I know I will never be able to reach.”**

Yuzuru didn’t realize he was crying until a single drop fell on the screen of his phone. He didn’t know what to think or do. Javier spoke so beautifully about him but there was so much pain in his words as well. It sounded like a rejection, like he learned something he knows he will never have and in hindsight that may be true. Yuzuru didn’t really show that he may want more than the few evenings they spent together. They haven’t exchanged numbers or any of that kind and now he understands it. He refreshed the page to maybe see something else and that was when an Insta Story appeared from Javier. Yuzuru clicked on it fast. It showed a park or something of that sort with the text “A bit of fresh air before leaving this beautiful city.”

Yuzuru perked up, so Javier was still in Helsinki, didn’t take any other flight and he got up from his chair so fast he knocked it over. His mother was standing there by the door and smiled at him. 

“The next flight towards Toronto is ours. Maybe faith will be on your side again. Finish packing, we are leaving for the airport in an hour.” Yuzuru swallowed but nodded.

Yes, maybe faith is on his side. He hoped for that, he needed to see Javier and speak to him before they would return to Toronto. Somehow, he just needs to.


	16. #16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Faith truly is a funny thing Yuzuru thinks as he goes to the check-in counter and asks if there is a possibility of upgrading someone else who is not part of his entourage into business class on his flight. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

Faith truly is a funny thing Yuzuru thinks as he goes to the check-in counter and asks if there is a possibility of upgrading someone else who is not part of his entourage into business class on his flight. The lady at the counter gives him a suspicious eye but Yuzuru explains how his friend is maybe on the flight and if he is, he would like to surprise him with an upgrade. She picks up the phone at her desk to make a call, confirming this is something they are allowed to do. Few minutes pass and the lady confirms they can as long as the information he provides about the passenger meets their information in the system.

Ten minutes later they confirm that the described passenger is is on the same flight as him and they will upgrade his seat to business as well but they can’t tell him about the seat number he got assigned to. Yuzuru doesn’t mind as long as Javier is going to be close to him and maybe just close enough to talk to him for a few minutes. Though he does expect a lot of fans to be on the same flight too, watching so he doesn’t know how he can make it look less obvious.

Helsinki airport was extremely tiny and that meant Yuzuru almost had to hide in some corner until it was time to board, unfortunately the line to the plane was so long, he decided to step away and board last with his team. Then suddenly the lights were out, Ghislain mentioned a party, fans ahead started to repeat the opening song of Fantasy on Ice and Yuzuru just laughed. He forgot about anything else for a minute, right up until he got on the plane and found his seat. He literally dropped his bag staring into the beautiful brown eyes of Javier.

His mother politely cleared her throat behind him and told him to get settled or they won’t be able to take their own seats. Yuzuru shook himself awake and got out of the way, so her and his coaches can find their own seats. The fact that the upgrade meant they would make Javier sit next to him, with a single seat separating them wasn’t actually something he considered. He just meant Business class to be close to talk, this wasn’t in his plans.

While he makes himself comfortable, stores his backpack under the seat in front of him, he avoids any further eye-contact with Javier, the older doesn’t seem to give him attention either, eyes turned to the window he was sitting next to. The announcements comes that boarding has been complete, all doors are locked and they should listen to the safety instructions. Yuzuru had flown so many times already he zones out, feeling the plane starting to move towards the take off strip. He swallows hard, rubs at his thighs with his sweaty hands and waits for them to be up in the air.

\----

Up in the air, with flight attendants closing the curtains to Economy class and most people setting in to sleep he finally turns to Javier. He doesn’t need to gain his attention because the older turns his head towards him too.

“It was you, wasn’t it...my ticket.” He says and Yuzuru feels heat on his cheeks, nodding shyly. “Thank you...I...why?”

“I…” Yuzuru starts but then words fail him for a minute or two. He struggles finding the right explanation without exposing too much, without mentioning the words he had read on Javiers account. “I wanted to talk to you...yesterday I tried knocking but you didn’t open, thought you left Helsinki. I just...I asked at the counter and hoped they agree and you would be on this plane too.” Yuzuru feels tense, the words doesn’t seem to come out right, it sounds like a bad excuse but the expression on Javiers face softens after the initial shock of learning that he tried to knock on his door the night before and he even gives him a gentle smile.

“I’m sorry… last night I felt...exhausted and I went to bed. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you knocking.” Yuzuru quickly shakes his head to reassure Javier that he is not upset about that.

“It was very late, past midnight. I should have know you sleep already.” They share a smile and Yuzuru fumbled with the hem of his jacket, chewing on his lower lip.

“Congratulations on your win. I didn’t get to say that.” Javier breaks the silence and Yuzuru raises his head to look at him, giving him a blinding smile.

“Thank you. Helsinki is a lucky place. I like it here.” Javier looks zoned out for a second after his words he does agree.

“Yeah, Helsinki is a really lucky place for me too.” The two of them fall into a comfortable low chatter for the next hours, only stopping when the flight attendant tends to them with food or drinks. Yuzuru feels like is is soaring with how easily conversation flows with Javier and the initial tension between them seems to be gone quickly too. By the time the announcement comes that they will shortly begin their descent to Toronto, Yuzuru blinks confused. He didn’t even realize they have talked through the complete flight and he finally remembers what he intended to do in the first place.

“Javier… can you give me your phone?” Javier raises a confused brow but he unlocks his device and does so. Yuzuru navigates to the contacts and creates a new one, typing in his phone number and saves it. “If Javier wants...maybe we can message.” The heat is back to his cheeks and he is certain he must look like a ripe tomato but Javier is staring at his phone screen, mouth hanging slightly open. 

“Are you… are you sure?” He asks in a soft voice and Yuzuru nods slowly. “Uhm...thank you.” Javier says and he asks for Yuzurus phone to put his own number in and even his e-mail address. “In case you rather want to send e-mails.” He says while rubbing at his nape and Yuzuru finds him even more adorable. 

The flight attendant appears again and clears any remaining glasses and trash they might have, advises them to fasten their seatbelts as the plane slowly starts to take it’s landing course. Yuzuru leans back against his chair and glances over at his mother who sits a row behind him, she is smiling at him knowingly. He doesn’t even feel all to embarrassed about it all anymore, she obviously is supportive of whatever may happen between them. Yuzuru makes a mental note to order some flowers for her because she deserves it.

Yuzuru managed to bid goodbye to Javier before he is whisked away by his mom and coaches, leaving the plane as one of the first ones, mostly avoid being held up with fans or media. The last he sees is a small wave and a smile from Javier and his heart does a weird little jump inside his chest again. He was definitely whipped by that Spanish man. 


	17. #17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Back in Toronto Yuzuru throws himself into practice, the week between Helsinki and Moscow not much of time for him to fix a lot of things he found to be an issue in Finland. He slips into one of his zones where the outside world is forgotten and that means Javier is put out of his mind as well. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV, WARNING it contains mentions of Rostelecom Injury, pls read with caution.

Back in Toronto Yuzuru throws himself into practice, the week between Helsinki and Moscow not much of time for him to fix a lot of things he found to be an issue in Finland. He slips into one of his zones where the outside world is forgotten and that means Javier is put out of his mind as well. By the time he remembers about he other it is time to take his flight to Moscow. Javier has uploaded another vlog to his channel about Helsinki and he puts in his “Watch Later” playlist along with the few other videos he had uploaded. Then he checks his Instagram, liking and commenting just like he is someone who admires Javier. The older still doesn’t know. He also remembers how he had given Javier his number but has not received any words from him. Yuzurus mind goes a mile and a minute right when his boarding is announced. He wonders why Javier has not reached out to him, that maybe he had thought too much into it and in the end the other is not interested in him. He is about to have a crisis because maybe he came off too strong, or someone who is easy on giving out his number to almost strangers when his phone vibrates in his hand.

**“Hey. Good luck in Moscow, you are going to be great. I didn’t want to write you in case you were concentrating on training between the assignments. I know you will get another gold! Vamos Yuzu. - Javi” ** Yuzuru let’s out a squeak all his stupid questions answered with a few lines, and his chest is flooded with that warm feeling again. He knows he has a ridiculously bright smile on his face at this point because his mother is looking at him with a raised brow. He just shakes his head and types a quick reply, before he has to board and can’t message anymore.

“Hi Javi. Yes, I trained hard, forget things when I do...Thank you. I will do my best! Gold is mine.” Yuzuru boards his plane with a light feeling in his stomach and a smile on his face.

Unfortunately his mood would only last until the practice in the morning before the free.

\----

Yuzuru always knew that whenever he had some happiness in his life, there was a phase where sadness and pain followed. What he did not expect was to fall during his practice and go through the same thing he had to a year prior. He knew the moment he landed and hit the ice, the pain shooting up his entire leg that this wasn’t just a simple fall. It took him a couple of seconds to get up from the ice too, then he promptly ignored his music playing to gather his thoughts. Mind was racing with anything he could come up with while he tried to shake the pain away, mask it so neither his fans or competitors can see an issue. 

Once he had done the math he skated towards the entrance, stepping off the ice, his music not even finished. His coaches said nothing but moved as well. They must have known too the moment he fell. Yuzuru hurries along the corridors in the arena, vanishes inside a room where it’s only his Team and they all look at each other knowingly. Brian is reaching for his phone calling for a doctor, Ghislain goes to fetch some ice and they slowly take off the skates from his feet. All of them gasp at the same time, his ankle already looking as bad as it feels for Yuzuru. Quickly they gather his things, he puts the ice around his ankle, steps halfway into his shoes and off they are to the hotel. Cameras as showed into his face but he just smiles and says he is alright. 

Back in the hotel, the privacy of his room the situation looks a bit different. The doctor arrives a few minutes after they are back and they leave him with Yuzuru to examine his ankle. Yuzuru leans back against the pillows, waiting for the verdict that before he knows it makes his mouth taste bitter. His coaches return and the doctor let’s out a sigh.

“At least 3 weeks or rest before we can consider any kind of rehab. The injury is to the other side of his ankle compared to last year. I don’t advise him to skate today.” Brian and Ghislain look at Yuzuru with pain etched on their face and Yuzuru is fighting the tears.

“I am going to skate, I have to. Come what may but I want to skate. I have to skate Origin in Russia.” He says before any of his coaches speak, look at each other than both nod.

“Okay. We will do whatever we can to keep the swelling down so you can put on your skates and we will see what we can do. It’s obvious we can’t go with your original layout. You picked your alternative?” Yuzuru bites his lip, overwhelmed with emotions. His coaches are not arguing with him but he also knows that will mean that after this competition, he will have to listen to everything his Team says. Three weeks means no Finale even if he qualifies and who knows what else he will have to miss. Yuzuru shakes those thoughts away and finally nods.

“Yes, I have the new layout.” His Team gets to work instantly, they have to avert attention, ice his ankle, compression press and whatever else. They have a few hours before it is time to return to the arena for the free skate.

\----

Yuzuru fights and fights, falls but stands up, pushes through the immense pain in his leg until the last notes of his music fade and the arena screams. He looks at the ice, touches the surface and thanks it though he knows his performance was anything but good. The lead from his short should still give him an advantage.

Brian catches him the moment he reaches him and he leans against him heavily, he hears his words of praise but he also knows he is not deserving of it. It was a reckless decision to skate after the doctor told him he shouldn’t. He may have made things worse for his ankle but for now he sits down on the bench, apologizes to Plushenko over and over until Brian tells him ‘that’s enough’. The scores appear, the standings are clear and Yuzuru can allow himself to breathe. With the help of his coaches he is escorted backstage, the murmur of his fans increasing as they say how hard it is for him to walk. He knows the news will break out soon and he prepares himself for the media storm.

Yuzuru wished he didn’t need to do this but his doctor and coaches are not letting him be any more reckless, they bandage his ankle and he is given crutches. He hates those things so much but he is too worn down and broken to complain. 

The second he steps inside the press conference room the cameras go off and the soft murmur gets louder, all attention on him. Yuzuru catches the eyes of Kazuki who looks at him with so much sadness one would believe he is injured and not Yuzuru. Patiently he answers all the questions and for once he is open about what the doctors say. He informs the press that he will have to take three weeks rest before they can think about anything else, so his participating in the Grand Prix Finale is something he can’t confirm at the moment. 

\----

Yuzuru returns to his hotel room to discuss the plans about the gala, they all agree he won’t skate but he will join the medal ceremony somehow, he doesn’t want to disappoint his fans further. Brian and Ghislain leave with promises to speak to the organizers so they can make it happen but it has to work without him wearing skates. Yuzuru doesn’t argue, just leans back against the pillows again. His mother brushes her fingers through his hair and presses a kiss to his forehead, whispering how proud she is of him, tough her eyes also tell how upset she is with his choice to skate today. 

The second the door closes behind her, Yuzuru let’s the tears fall, sobbing in the semi darkness of a hotel room in Moscow. He feels alone and broken, not sure how he can go through this from all over again. Without thinking twice he reaches for his phone, snaps a picture of his iced ankle and uploads the image on his Instagram with a short caption.

**“Why does it always have to be like this?”**

\----

Javier has been frantic since he has seen the free program and watched the press conference, conflicted if he should reach out to Yuzuru or not. To distract himself from the thoughts he opened his Instagram app but the second post in his feed makes him jump up from his couch again. With shaking fingers he looks at the image, the username and everything clicks.

“Yuzuru…” He whispers.


	18. #18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier had been pacing, he wasn't able to sleep even a few hours the night after the free program. Not after seeing the picture on apparently Yuzurus Instagram account. He considered replying to the picture but it felt too impersonal. Direct message was out of question as well. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Javier had been pacing, he wasn't able to sleep even a few hours the night after the free program. Not after seeing the picture on apparently Yuzurus Instagram account. He considered replying to the picture but it felt too impersonal. Direct message was out of question as well. Should he even bother Yuzuru at this time? He must be worn out from performing, maybe just needing the time alone. Obviously he was working himself through some emotions with the way he posted such a picture onInstagram too. 

Javier also remembers all the comments, likes on his pictures, videos of his even. It has been months now; way before he met and introduced himself to Yuzuru. Yuzuru knew about him and whatever he posts; he certainly did because now his reactions made more sense. The way he behaved after seeing him in Helsinki and how easily he opened up for him. It wasn't just him trusting a stranger. He knew Javier from his videos and their short conversation over replies on social media. Than it hits him and heat rushes to his cheeks. If Yuzuru knew about him, had he seen his vlog? Javier let's out an uncharacteristic whine making Effie glare at him from her spot on the couch. 

"Oh my god… He saw and read it all… What… This. Oh my god." Javier wishes the ground would swallow him from all over again. He feels embarrassed, exposed and naked knowing Yuzuru had seen all his fan blabbering. Javier doesn't know if he ever write Yuzuru. 

"I have his phone number… He gave me his number while he knew how much of… Effie, what do I do?" She raised her head again hearing her name but as Javier had no food in his hands she just turned around and curled up to sleep more. "Thanks for nothing." He groaned and sat down in his armchair. The sun was rising over the horizon. Javier suddenly felt utterly exhausted, right down to the bone and his eyes slowly drifting to close. He fell asleep in his armchair thinking about Yuzuru. 

\----

Javier wakes up when the alarm of his phone rings. He had set it up so he won't miss the medal ceremony or the gala. He feels groggy as he shuts the annoying thing off and his neck feels stiff from sleeping in his chair. Javier groans again but he opens the stream while making his way to brew some fresh coffee for himself. As he waits for his machine he fills Effies bowl with her favourite food, cracks himself two eggs in a pan and waits. He just about puts them each in a slice of toast when the announcer speaks to start the ceremony. 

Javier sits down by his counter knowing if he doesn't he will crumble. He all but forgets about his food when the cameras find Yuzuru standing there with crutches. He has a smile on his lips but his eyes show sadness and pain. Javier feels tears welling up in his own eyes, the video blurry in front of him. It hurts to see Yuzuru like this but he is also the strongest person Javier has known in his life. He bows and smiles, waves for his fans. When the audience is shown many are crying, showing signs of characters he can't read but understands nevertheless. 

Javier never finishes his food, nor does he watch the gala knowing Yuzuru won't participate, he simply can't bring himself to see anyone else skate. For the rest of the day he moves on autopilot but before the sun even sets he goes to bed, staring at the wall or his phone screen that shows Yuzurus contact. 

\----

Javier is woken up by a very annoyed Effie biting at his arm. He tries to pull his arm away but she is persistent. Rolling on his back he checks the time. Javier sits up to quickly he makes himself dizzy as the result. It's the next day and long due to her feeding time. That explains her displeasure and need to bite at any part of his not covered with a blanket. Javier gets out of bed and doesn't delay her meal or his toes are going to get clawed at next. 

He finds his leftovers, warms them up and swallows it down even if he doesn't feel hungry. He checks the time again, does a quick calculation of time difference and hits call. 

One ring, two rings and than a tired voice answers. 

"Habier?" Yuzuru sounds worn out and Javier regrets his choice, maybe he shouldn't have called but the other says his name again and he throws l caution out the window. 

"Yuzuru… Uhm. I am sorry, were you asleep? I shouldn't have called without messaging first. I--" A sleepy chuckle and some rustling. 

"It fine. I was resting. Came back not long ago, took a nap after doctor visit. Went there from airport." 

"Wait… you are in Toronto? You are not in Moscow?" 

"I left after medal ceremony. Didn't want to wait…I couldn't stay." Yuzurus voice falters and Javier wishes he could wrap his arms around him. 

"How are you holding up? I saw and… I wish I could have been there." He admits, dropping all pretenses. "I--" 

"I don't know how I feel. I don't want to talk about it. I am sorry." Javier shakes his head but realizes that Yuzuru can't see that. 

"I am sorry I asked. I understand if you don't want to talk about it and I should leave you to rest. I just wanted to tell you that I am here if you want to talk and… Yeah. That's all." 

"Thank you. I will go back to sleep. Thank you for calling too. Bye bye Habi." Javier feels warmth spreading in his chest at the nickname. 

"Bye Yuzuru. Sleep well." When the call ends Javier stares at this phone screen until it turns black. Yuzuru is back in Toronto and he answered his call so quickly too. He felt happy they could talk and while he did want to address the Instagram account it definitely wasn't the right time. Javier knew he may be asking for too much in such a little time and he had to control himself. Pushing Yuzuru away just because he was nosy and asked too many questions was the last thing he wanted to achieve. 

\----

From that day onwards they exchanged messages almost on a daily basis and called a few times too. Conversations kept light and never mentioned skating. Javier didn't mind, he spent the time talking about his upcoming videos and about what kind of mess Effie decided to make every other day. Yuzuru enjoyed those stories the most, always curious what she was doing. Javier made it his task to send pictures of her to Yuzuru throughout the day, hoping it makes him smile. 

At the end of the third week after Rostelecom, Javier felt restless again. The Grand Prix final was going to happen that same weekend. He knew from the press conference that Yuzuru would have another check up and learn if he can go back to training or not. Yuzuru officially handed in his withdrawal about the Final a few days prior. It was a beautiful Saturday morning when he took all his courage and sent off his message. 

**"Would you like to meet Effie? If you want, this is my address. You can come by anytime today or tomorrow. Generally whenever you want. I leave the choice up to you but maybe leaving the house for a little while could be good? I hope things are good. Anyway… Offer stands."**

Minutes than an hour passed and Javier didn't receive a reply, ready to give up and apologise for overstepping. Javier started to think he took it too far, too soon but then the doorbell rang. Javier opened the door and there he stood, wearing comfortable clothes, leaning on a crutch to avoid putting pressure on his ankle. His hair fell in his eyes, a tad bit longer than the last time he saw him in person. Javier felt his heart beating in his throat. 

"Hi Habi." 


	19. #19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru allowed himself to breathe for the first time, truly when his plane took off in the direction of Toronto. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

Yuzuru allowed himself to breathe for the first time, truly when his plane took off in the direction of Toronto. After the victory ceremony he did a minimum of media obligations but his Team was politely rejecting whoever possible for the sake of his return for a check-up. His mother was waiting for him backstage with that worry etched in her eyes, though her lips tried to curl into a supportive smile. His belongings have been packed and after he changed into street clothes at the venue the car took them directly to the airport. They managed to get him tickets to a flight bound for Toronto early in the afternoon. Well technically he had a layover but Yuzuru didn’t care about those tiny details.

The moment the plane landed in Toronto a driver was already waiting for them at the airport to take them to his doctors. Yuzuru didn’t even want to get home just take a few minutes to freshen up, change clothes and they were off for a complete check-up. The diagnosis made in Moscow was confirmed by scans and x-rays, making Yuzuru feel devastated. A year later he is sitting in the same doctors office to hear almost exactly the same. A plan was made, he got given three weeks of absolute rest, told to use crutches again and once the resting time was over they will do more tests to see how his rehab program would look like. By the end it all just meant that he can’t make the Grand Prix Final and even his participating in Japan Nationals would be a wide stretch. If all goes well he may be able to start with light stroking practice a week after the Final took place. 

Yuzuru blanked out by the end, only hearing a white noise. He wanted to go home and lay in bed, wallow in sadness or something along those lines and sleep. Oh, he really wished to sleep for a really long time, after all he had the time now. Yumi took care of his papers and she made appointments with his dietitian to see what his meals should look like to promote healing and keeping muscle mass. Yuzuru left it to her, knowing she would handle it well.

Yuzuru barely laid down in bed, closed his eyes ready to drift off his phone went off. He would have contemplated to ignore it but it was a special ringtone he had set only for one person. Yuzuru picked it up after the second ring and he sat there on his bed after the call, feeling a bit lighter; he was happy he had accepted the call. Javier was kind, sweet and truly caring and without knowing he helped Yuzuru to dislodge some of the bad thoughts from his mind.

For the following weeks he would continue to do that. They talked and messaged almost on a daily basis. Yuzuru had now a complete folder with pictures of Effie or any other Javier had sent to him, to brighten his days. It helped. Yuzuru was thankful to Javier and he kept wondering how he could show it to him as well. Even during the weekend of the Final, which he had to withdraw from Javier kept him company an on top did something unexpected.

Javier invited Yuzuru over to his apartment.

Yuzuru didn’t know what he should do so he actually went to his mother to seek advice. She has been supportive of his friendship with Javier and maybe she can help with his decision regarding the invite.

“You should go.” Yumi says after hearing his dilemma. “He is a really sweet boy and he wants to cheer you up. Also a bit of time outside of your room could do you well too.”

“But...isn’t it weird to go to his place? I barely know him for a few weeks?” Yumi gives Yuzuru a hard look.

“My boy, you have known him for months now, you two have talked too before Helsinki. He sends you messages and pictures of his cat to cheer you up, to make you think of anything else than your injury. You used to go to school-friends houses too after knowing them for a short time. Think of it like that if going to your crushes place is too much to handle.” Yuzuru turned bright red at those words.

“Mooom.” He whined but she waved him off. “Come on, I will drive you there. Change into something nice and we go.” Her tone told Yuzuru that he had no chance to argue, with a sigh he returned to his room, trying to find an outfit he wasn’t embarrassed to wear but was comfortable enough too.

\----

So after a short drive later he stood in front of Javiers apartment. Yuzuru felt nervous, more than he usually would for a competition. He could deal with the nerves coming with that kind of pressure but this was foreign to him. This wasn’t something he could calculate and arrange in a way he knows how to work it. Being with Javier was a foreign territory, going to his apartment even more so. He hardly ever socializes in Toronto, should it be at the club but especially not outside of it. 

Yuzuru takes a deep breath, adjusts his balance on his crutch and rings the doorbell. It only takes a short time before the door opens, Javier standing there obviously stunned.

“Hi Habi.” Yuzuru greets, biting down on his lower lip, his heart hammering against his chest he wonders if Javier can hear it. They stare at each other what feels like hours but it must be only seconds, than Javier is standing aside to let him.

“Yuzu...you came.” Yuzuru nods and gets inside, the spacious living and kitchen area coming to view, something he has seen a dozen of times in pictures or videos but never in person. He allowed himself to have a look around spotting a corner where Javier must film his chatting videos. There are camera and light equipment all around the area and he sees a door ajar to the far right, the corner of a bed. It must be his bedroom. Yuzuru swallows and stops in the middle of the room. 

“Yes, I hope I do not come too quick. I maybe should have send message.” Javier closes the door and follows him, standing in front of him once Yuzuru turns to face him.

“No. It is okay. I invited you, I told you that you can come anytime it was true. Though maybe I should have cleared some of my stands...I hardly move my stuff, makes it easier to just start shooting.” Yuzuru gives him a smile. 

“It is fine. It doesn’t bother me at all.” He adjust his balance again and Javiers eyes widen. 

“Oh please, sit on the couch. Do you want something to drink? Tea maybe? I am pretty sure I have some green tea around here.” Yuzuru is still smiling.

“Yes, tea would be nice.” As Javier makes his way to the kitchen he moves towards the couch, settling down while making sure his right leg is stretched out, avoiding pressure on his ankle. He looks around again. The place is big with high walls and the big windows on one side bring a lot of light into the room. Javier has mostly white furniture with a few accents of color, a speck of black or a little bit of red. It is calming in person just as it is in pictures. Yuzurus train of thoughts are interrupted when Effie suddenly jumps on the couch next to him, sniffing at him. 

“Effie-chan.” Yuzuru greets and she tilts her head to the side assessing him. The stare-down lasts a good minute, than she puts her paw on his thigh and lays down. Yuzuru fights the urge to coo at her for the cuteness. Javier appears with two steaming mugs and hands one to Yuzuru. It is baby blue with a calico cat printed on it.

“Ah, mi princessa likes you, I see.” Yuzuru bites his lip, carefully petting her head and she purrs softly. 

“She must be friendly with people.” Javier laughs out loud at that and shakes his head.

“Effie doesn’t like strangers, she even hisses at her sitter she knows for years. She definitely likes you.” Yuzuru looks at Javier, feeling heat rushing to his cheeks. The other looks at them both with so much affection in his eyes, Yuzurus heart skips a few beats. 

Yuzuru drops his gaze back to Effie, a safe territory and takes a careful sip of his tea. The silence between them is comfortable and Yuzuru is happy he listened to his mother's advice.


	20. #20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier didn’t know how he should behave. He knew that if by some miracle Yuzuru accepted his invitation he would be inside of his apartment but actually having him here, was a whole different story. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV. Also Monday update may not be in the morning hours as usual, I have nothing written yet and another competition is this week... I will do my best to update on Monday but in case I don't, you guys have been warning. My apologies. Happy weekend!

Javier didn’t know how he should behave. He knew that if by some miracle Yuzuru accepted his invitation he would be inside of his apartment but actually having him here, was a whole different story. It felt weird but also comfortable to have Yuzuru inside his space, watching him take in the living room and kitchen. He saw him halting his gaze at some of his equipment and he felt embarrassed. Maybe he should have cleaned up a bit but Yuzuru didn’t seem to mind. To distract himself he offered tea and felt happy to escape to his happy place, which was his kitchen. Javier pat himself on the back for keeping green tea in his house, though he prefers drinking coffee.

Opening his cupboard while Yuzuru took a seat on his couch he looked at the row of mugs he had, eyes stopping at one of his favourites. He bought it years ago in a dollar store in Toronto, a baby blue colored mug with a calico cat on the front, similar to Effie. Back then he only had her for a short time and when he saw that mug in the shop, he couldn’t help but buy it. Javier grabbed his usual black one he used in the mornings, pouring himself some of the tea too. When he turned around he saw Effie having a staring down contest with Yuzuru and he had to bite his lip, the two looked too cute. Then Effie did something unexpected, placed a paw on Yuzuru as if claiming him her own and laid down next to him. 

“Ah, mi princessa likes you, I see.” Javier handed him the blue cup and sat down next to him. 

“She must be friendly with people.” Javier laughs out loud at that and shakes his head.

“Effie doesn’t like strangers, she even hisses at her sitter she knows for years. She definitely likes you.” The smile on Yuzurus face makes his heart skip a beat and he falls silent, concentrating on his drink. The other doesn’t say anything either for several minutes but it is comfortable. It feels like Yuzuru belongs here and not like it’s his first visit.

\----

Javier almost finishes his drink when he finally asks. “How are you, Yuzuru?” He sees as the other tightens his hold on his mug, taking a while to answer him.

“Honest?” He asks, glancing in Javiers direction and he nods. “If you want. Whatever you say, stays with me.”

“Helpless.” Yuzuru stares into his tea, releasing a long sigh. “Why life make it hard for me, hurt me again. A second difference and I injured again. It hurts. I wanted Final so bad and Nationals but...doctors and coaches say I won’t be ready. It is clear, it hurts to stand, next week I try skating but I do not know. Missing Nationals again...so much bad being said. It just hurts.” Javier listens, not saying anything, letting Yuzuru say whatever he needs to but the moment he saw a single tear running down his face he moved. Javier hastily put his mug down, Effie jumped off the couch, he took the mug from Yuzuru to put it down too and pulled him against his chest. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he was overstepping, that he shouldn’t just touch him so easily but he couldn’t watch him cry. To his surprise Yuzuru leaned against him, buried his face against his shoulder, silently sobbing.

Javier held him tighter, running his hands slowly up and down his back until Yuzuru calmed down. 

“I am sorry… I…” Yuzuru mumbled pulling back and brushing the last tears from his eyes. Javier gave him a reassuring smile, brushing a strand of hair from his eyes. 

“It’s alright. It must be hard for you. I honestly can only imagine what you are going through, especially for a second time but I am here for you. If I can be some kind of support, I would like to be.” Yuzuru looked at him, his lips curling a bit upwards and he nodded. Effie took that moment to return and jump in his lap, making both of them stare and then burst out laughing.

“Ah...Princessa.” Javier ran his fingers through his hair. “You really are something.” Yuzuru smiled too now brighter and pet her fur. Javier knew how relaxing and comforting it could be to have a cat on your lap, purring softly, so he didn’t say anything else. He stood up to make themselves more tea. 

“Are you hungry?” He called from the kitchen, looking inside his fridge. “I could make us something if you are. Ah… but maybe it doesn’t fit with your diet…” Javier pursed his lips.

“Fish, rice, small about of meat, lot of vegetables, greens. Little carbs like potato as I do not train and can’t gain weight.” Yuzuru smiled from the couch and Javier bit down on his lip.

“I can do a stew like soup with some meat and we can have rice.” 

“That would be nice. All food Habi makes looks delicious. I would like to taste.” Javier grinned at that and nodded his head, sleeves of his sweater being pulled up to avoid getting it messy. 

“Alright. Special meal for Yuzuru coming up.” 

\----

As Javier was cooking, Yuzuru moved over to sit by the counter, minding his ankle and they carried and easy conversation, avoiding any touchy subjects. Yuzuru looked a bit uncomfortable about his previous outburst and Javier just wanted to make him feel at ease again. As he looked inside the fridge for the meat again he spotted a few pieces of fruit.

“Do you like sweets?” Javier asked looking at Yuzuru. The younger tilted his head to the side.

“Yes. I do. Can’t eat a lot but I do like them.” 

“What do you say to a light dessert?” Yuzurus eyes brightened and he nodded. 

\----

Yuzuru helped Javier to prepare the table, wanting to help in some kind of way. When the stew and rice were ready and the little surprise dessert Javier prepared was chilling in the fridge; they settled down to eat.

Yuzuru put his hands together, palm to palm and mumbled something under his breath. Javier was familiar with that Japanese custom and smiled. He waited for the other to take the first bite, wanting to see his reaction. His expression morphed from neutral to that of delight and let out a pleased down.

“Oh Habi, this is is delicious.” Javier smiled, color rising to his cheeks. It has been a while since someone actually enjoyed his food and liked it. They ate slowly and in silence only the happy sounds of Yuzuru cutting into it from time to time. With their bowls empty and stomach full Javier cleared the table, not letting Yuzuru move.

“Please sit...just wait…” Yuzuru actually pouted at that making Javier chuckle. Javier hurried into the kitchen, making quick work trying to hide what he was doing from Yuzuru. He took a big plate and some chocolate sauce, writing the letters and other decoration around the little bowl of homemade yoghurt cream and fruits. Nothing too heavy as he didn’t add any extra sugar, leaving the sweetness from the fruit. Pleased with his creation he rummages through one of his drawers for a small candle, lights it and then carries the plate towards Yuzuru.

Yuzuru lets out a gasp and Javier starts singing “Happy Birthday”, causing the others eyes to shine with unshed tears. Finishing his song he puts the plate in front of him, that says “Happy Birthday, Yuzuru” with a tiny skate drawn next to it, flowers and a butterfly. Javiers sees as Yuzuru swallows hard, staring at plate and he reaches for his phone without thinking. He takes a picture than starts a video.

“Wish something and then blow the candle.” Yuzuru closes his eyes, presses his hands together in prayer and blows out the candle. When he is done he stands up from his chair and throws himself at Javier, wrapping his arms around his neck. Javier nearly drops his phone for the sake of hugging Yuzuru tight. “Happy Birthday.” He whispers in his ear again.

“Thank you, Habi.” Yuzuru pulls back to say the words in his face and Javiers breath gets caught in his throat. Up close he sees the shine in his eyes more, the beautiful curve of his upper lip, that perfect cupid's bow and he so wishes to close the distance between their lips.


	21. #21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru didn’t think he would have such a good time, just sitting there, talking with Javier and playing with Effie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV - Please excuse any mistakes, I didn't give it a second read...

Yuzuru didn’t think he would have such a good time, just sitting there, talking with Javier and playing with Effie. He also did not expect to have such an open conversation with him, let his tears fall and be comforted by the other. It felt good though, being hugged. Yuzuru felt safe and secure in Javiers arms which did make it hard for him to pull away, or keep the warmth the shade of his cheeks at bay. 

But not only that happened. Javier ended up cooking a delicious meal for him and it felt truly special already but then he had to top off with a surprise for his Birthday. Yuzuru had almost forgotten about it, his sadness regarding not being at the Final making him forget. It was always like that, having his Birthday during the final and at one point he ended up just pushing it out of his mind for the sake of competition. Today though he had no such need and hearing Javier sing for him, show him the plate he so carefully decorated, a dessert that would comply with his diet. Yuzuru couldn’t help but throw himself at Javier, holding him tight. 

As he slowly retreated from the embrace, he felt his breath get stuck in his throat. The way Javier was looking at him, a shiver ran down his spine. Yuzurus gaze dropped to his lips for a second and it took all his self-control not to close the distance between them. Clearing his throat with a fresh tint to his cheeks he pulled away, slowly sinking back to his chair. Javier shook himself back to reality to and sat down in front of him. 

Yuzuru took a long breath to collect himself and reached for the small spoon, to try to dessert Javier made. “Oh my god...this is so delicious.” He gasped. The flavours of the fruit matched the cream perfectly and they were so soft it literally melted on his tongue. It was just about the right amount of sweetness he enjoyed too. Yuzuru put down the spoon to give Javier one of his tiny claps, eyes crinkling up in a bright smile. “Javier, your cooking is amazing. I wish people could taste it. Looks amazing in videos but...so delicious.”

“Thank you, Yuzu. I am happy you like it...and well it has been a while since I cooked for someone else other than my cooking channel…” Yuzuru tilted his head to the side midbite.

“Nobody to cook for?” He dared to ask, bracing himself for maybe hearing something bad but he was hopeful.

“Ah...no. I haven’t had anyone special for over a year now? Something along those lines. Friends of course and family but that is something else. Cooking for someone you find special is always a different kind of feeling.” Javier looked at him in a way that made his chest feel warm and he could only hope he heard the indication right because Javier was special for him too.

“Thank you.” He whispered, eyes dropping to the plate, feeling too shy to look at Javier, especially with that intense stare he was giving him. 

\----

Finishing the dessert, Yuzuru was ushered back to the couch with a fresh cup of tea in his hand. Javier cleared away the table and made himself a cup of coffee.

“Coffee? Will you sleep?” Yuzuru couldn’t help but ask, the sun almost set completely in the horizon and he knew it was getting late, but ignored the idea of leaving.

“Ah, I don’t usually sleep until later, sometimes early morning. Depending on the amount of work I have to do. I am going to visit my family for the holidays and I am trying to clear my schedule as much as possible.” 

Yuzuru nodded. “You staying with family long?”

“I am leaving on the 20th and returning after the new year. It has been a long time since I spent some time with them.” Yuzuru smiled softly at that.

“My family possibly comes here...my doctors do not advise for travel much and I hope to be able to skate between holidays.” Javier reached out and placed a comforting touch on his shoulder. Yuzuru placed his own on top of it, squeezing it.

“I believe in you. You are going to rise again.” Yuzuru sighed and stared into his half empty mug.

“I won’t go to any other competition anymore. I hope they give me spot for Worlds. It is Saitama, back home. I think I will be able to go.” Javier kept his hand still on his shoulder, which helped him to remain collected. Tapping the blue mug he swallowed. “Would Habi come to Saitama?” He could feel how Javier froze at the question, slowly moving his hand away. Yuzuru raised his head to look at him, fearing rejection but hoping for a yes.

“I don’t have a ticket or anything. I wasn’t planning to go...You know how difficult it is for foreigners to get tickets, with the whole lottery system.” Yuzuru pursed his lips, aware how strange the whole system in Japan could be for fans. 

“I get tickets...If they choose me I get free ticket. If I give Habi one...will you come? I can arrange flight too...maybe hotel.” He started to babble and only the gentle touch to his cheek made him stop talking.

“You want me to be there?” Javier asked in a soft voice and Yuzuru leaned against his hand, nodding.

“Yes. I want...no I wish you come.”

“Okay. I will go, I will even if you do not get me tickets. I will be in Saitama.” Yuzuru felt tears in his eyes again. He put his mug down, so did Javier and they met in a warm embrace again. Yuzuru buried his face in the others shoulder, inhaling his scent, the feeling of home returning.

“Thank you...I know I say lot but I really thankful.” He mumbled and he thought he felt lips brushing against his temple.

“For you, I would do anything.” Yuzuru twisted his hand in Javiers shirt.

\----

In the end it was his phone which disturbed their embrace and he pulled back feeling a bit embarrassed. He looked at the screen and saw his mothers name. Then he quickly looked at the time and gasped. It was later in the evening now and no wonder she was asking about his whereabouts. Yuzuru accepted the call and spoke to her softly in Japanese.

“Mom...will come and pick me up. It is late. I didn’t see time and tomorrow I have appointments.” Javier was understanding though.

“It is fine...it is late. I had a really nice time.” Yuzuru stood up and picked up his crutch.

“Me too. I really enjoyed.” He did bend down to scratch behind Effies ear. “Bye-bye Effie-chan.” Javier walked him out and waited with him until Yumi parked before the building. Yuzuru hugged Javier again, thanking him for a wonderful time and the food. He got inside the car and made sure to wave before they drove off.

“So…” His mother asked when they were on the road. Yuzuru felt his cheeks heat up instantly.

“It was nice, really nice. He cooked for me and he made me a dessert for my birthday too...I… I really like him, mom.” She reached over to pat his thigh.

“He is a very charming and sweet boy.” Yuzuru squeezed her hand.

“I asked him to come to Saitama if I go…” He admitted and carefully watched her expression. Yumi broke out in a bright smile, similar to his own.

“Good.” She did not say more, nor did she need to. Yuzuru felt a stone falling from his chest.


	22. #22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier invited Yuzuru a few more times to his apartment after that Saturday and the skater did come._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV. Well... things happened and idk why... I mean wasn't planned but hey... enjoy?

Javier invited Yuzuru a few more times to his apartment after that Saturday and the skater did come. He only had less than two weeks before he would be flying out and he wanted to make the best of the time he could spend with Yuzuru. Most of their meetings consisted of talking and playing with Effie. One time they did leave for a short walk down to one of Javiers favourite restaurants. Yuzuru still used his crutches most days but he started to slowly walk on his right ankle. His doctors and coaches have told him that he may be able to take basic stroking lessons between the holidays, so he should start applying a bit more pressure on his ankle. 

For short visits around Javiers neighbourhood, Yuzuru opted to leave the crutch behind. Javier kept a keen eye on his ankle, to make sure he was not pushing himself too much, offering a hand up and down stairs. He also used those as excuses to touch Yuzuru. By now they greeted each other with long hugs and Yuzuru had occasionally reached out for some kind of contact. Each time it made Javiers heart leap. There was an obvious tension between them, something crackling in the air each time they touched or leaned in close and Javier found it hard to refrain from taking a step forward. They have established at least that they both were single and enjoyed each others company but they did not call their meetings dates or any of that sort. Javier felt insecure that his feelings may be too strong given they have barely known each other.

So instead of pushing things, he enjoyed the time he could spend with Yuzuru, help him relax in moments where the frustration about his injury was too much; when his coaches or doctors told him it wasn’t time yet for practice on the ice. Some days Yuzuru looked sullen and he spent most of the time visiting with Effie, comforting himself with her purrs and affection. Javier didn’t mind one bit, as long by the end Yuzuru felt better. He noted happily that Yuzuru left his place with a happy smile on his face, regardless if they did something or not.

\----

With their new bound relationship or friendship, whatever they really called it, it felt a bit wrong to leave to visit his family but Javier knew that he won’t be alone. Yuzurus family would arrive two days before Christmas. Javier promised though to keep in touch via messages and maybe if they can make it work with the timezone a call here and there. It almost felt like they were in a relationship if he was being a bit honest with himself or maybe delusional. He couldn’t quite place which it was.

Laura found out about the whole texting and calls barely three days into his visit and spent a whole evening asking him all the question about this ‘special boy of yours’. His family knew about his sexuality, it wouldn’t be the first time he introduced a boy to his family but it has been a good while since he appeared to be interested in anyone. It was almost natural to have by the fifth day the whole family asking him questions. It took all his power to escape them after a very intrusive dinner. Javier had to made sure the door to his room was locked or Laura would walk after him. He was worried she would kick it down but after a few minutes of shouts from the living room the family quieted down. Javier threw himself into his bed, welcoming the silence. He must have fallen asleep a bit because he is woken up by the sound of his phone. He blindly reached for it and accepts whatever call he is getting without looking at the screen. 

“¡Hola!” He says in the phone, trying to get his eyes to open.

“Habi?” In an instant he is awake and he sat up so quick on his bed he made himself dizzy.

“Yusu...Hi. Sorry. I kind of fell asleep it seems after dinner…” His accent is a bit stronger now that he is back in Spain and he tries his best to speak more clear. Yuzuru isn’t quite used to it. 

“Bad Habi, you eat lot of food and go sleep, forget you promise to show me picture of Roni.” Javier can’t help but laugh at that at first. The way Yuzuru sounds so pouty and upset makes his heart melt a little.

“I promise to send you some pictures. I have taken some of him but he wasn’t exactly happy with me the past days.” There is some shuffling on the other end of the line, some hushed Japanese, then he hears a door closing.

“Sorry, mom wanted to ask if I want tea and a snack before taking my medication… but yes, take a lot of pictures. I want to see it all.” Javier wants to ask how Yuzuru is feeling if maybe he is taking less of the painkillers but it is too soon, it has been only a few weeks since his injury for that to stop.

“Tomorrow we are all going to the market because there is always nice things between the holidays. I will take a lot of pictures and send it to you.” Yuzuru hums and makes one of his delighted sounds and Javier wishes he could hear that forever, or see his face at least. “Yusu...would it be okay if I video call? I kind of want to see you…” He blurts out with a shaking voice. The reply from the other takes a while and he wonders if the line was cut between. 

“Okay… Just wait a bit, mom is coming soon with my things.” The two end their call and the two minutes Javier has to wait for his phone to ring again feels like an eternity. He accepts and the screen takes a few seconds to flicker alive, showing Yuzuru in his own bed, similar position like his; a cup of tea close to him and some other things Javier can’t make it our properly. “Hi…” Yuzuru says shyly, giving him a small wave.

Javier feels like a happy idiot, doing the same. “Hey. I haven’t  _ ‘seen’ _ you in a while.” They stare at each other, Yuzuru biting the corner of his lips and Javier wishes he could lean in and make him stop doing that. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s middle of the night, they are both in their rooms and looking at each other as if this is more than two friends talking. “I know I am probably not earning good points with this because I should say this to you in person but I don’t have the courage to do that...I just don’t know how to say it---”

“Habi…” Yuzuru says his name with a gentle expression, trying to calm him down from his rambling.

“I like you...I really like you and not just as a friend and I hope this is not going to ruin anything between us because I really enjoy your company but I really...really like you, Yuzuru.” He feels heat rising to his cheek and in the dim light he swears he sees the same happening with Yuzuru. “In case you do not feel the same, I am going to just---”

Yuzuru interrupts him again. “Habi, I really like you too.” He confesses and Javier feels like his whole world has shifted, happy that he is not standing because his feet would collapse under him. They stare and smile at each other like two idiots for the next five minutes, then Yuzurus eyes start to drop and he has to muffle a yawn behind his hand. Apparently his medication is working and it always makes him sleepy. They don’t say much to each other anymore, just smile and wish each other good night. Javier lays down on his bed and stares up at the ceiling. His heart is beating like crazy and it takes him a long time to fall asleep again but he feels incredibly happy.


	23. #23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru feels like he is floating for days after the two confessed to each other._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

Yuzuru feels like he is floating for days after the two confessed to each other. It felt surreal to have his feelings returned but at the same time all the times the two spent together, messaged and even spoke on the phone gave any indication there is more than friendship between them, he should have trusted his gut feeling. The tone of their conversations changed a bit as well, not as careful with what they would say like before. Javier sent him some heart emojis here and there, making Yuzurus heart jump inside his chest.

He spent his holidays with his own family, receiving a little of teasing each time his eyes got stuck on his phone screen. He could tell tough that his family was happy for him and supported the idea of him being with Javier. It was a bit embarrassing given they have only told they like each other, they haven’t even kissed yet. Yuzuru finds himself blushing instantly and he has to cover his face with his hands. Luckily he is inside his bedroom, alone and nobody is seeing him freak out about the idea of kissing Javier. Yuzuru would be lying if he had not thought about it before but now it was a possibility and Javier is coming back to Toronto the next day. They promised to see each other even though Javier will probably be tired after the long flight. 

“Get it together.. it’s just a kiss and you don’t know if that is going to happen now anyway.” He berates himself and gives his cheeks a couple of slaps to wake up. He has a paper to write today, meet with his coaches tomorrow and maybe skate a little bit. Then in the afternoon he is going to go over Javiers place with some food made by his mom to make sure he eats something healthy. That’s the plan there are no mentions of hugs or kisses or anything else. Yuzuru rolls his shoulders and goes back to his paper.

\----

Yuzuru inhales, bracing himself and rings the doorbell. It takes Javier exactly half a minute to open the door. He looks tired, just like anyone after a long flight but his smile is so bright Yuzurus breath catches in his throat and his mouth feels dry. Javier pulls him inside the apartment and envelopes him in a tight hug. Yuzuru melts against his chest, wrapping his own arms around him and inhales his scent. Javier smells fresh, slightly minty so he guesses he took a quick shower after returning home and changed his clothes.

“Yuzu…” He feels the hot breath against his ear and he shivers, twisting his hands in the others shirt to press a bit closer. He loses track of time but then he feels someone clawing at his pants and he pulls away to see Effie demanding attention. Both laugh at her behaviour. “Great, so when I come home you keep on hiding under the bed, being all upset with me but the moment Yuzu shows up you are all over him. I feel betrayed.” Javier rolls his eyes but he looks amused. Yuzuru gives his hand a squeeze before patting her head. 

“Hi, Effie-chan. I missed you too.” Satisfied with the greeting she goes off to find a warm spot near the window for herself. Yuzuru shakes his head at her, then turns to look at Javier. What he sees makes his skin gets goosebumps all over. There is so much affection and love in his brown eyes he finds it suddenly hard to breathe. “Hi, Habi…” He breathes out, voice barely a whisper. In a split second so many things flash across Javiers face, Yuzuru doesn’t know how to decipher them. Javier steps closer to him, inside his personal space and cups his cheeks with both hands.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, slightly sounding breathless too and Yuzuru nods. Yuzuru feels his heart speeding up as Javier leans in and when their lips touch for the first time he swears he sees fireworks behind his closed lids. It’s a soft peck at first, both pulling away to look at each other for second and then they both lean in again. Yuzuru wraps his arms around Javiers neck and he circles how own around his waist to pull Yuzuru closer. 

They kiss slow, unhurried and just exploring the feeling of it. Yuzuru feels overwhelmed emotionally a little bit and then Javier gently bites down on his lower lip, making him gasp. The kiss turns from gentle to more passionate and Yuzuru feels his head swimming, almost clinging to Javier with how his knees are going weak. Yuzuru is the first to break the kiss with his lungs burning for air. Javier is panting too leaning his forehead against his as they let their racing hearts calm down again. 

Yuzuru opens his eyes again and Javier is looking at him with that intense stare, a silly grin plastered on his face. He feels himself blush a deep shade of red and Javier places tiny pecks on his forehead, cheeks, tip of his nose and his lips. “Uhm..okay...so...I think you mentioned something about your mom cooking?” Javier is chewing on his lower lip and Yuzuru would want to kiss him again but the question brings him back to reality. 

  
“Ah, yes...the bag.” He had completely forgotten about it the moment he got pulled inside, at least somehow in his daze he managed to put it down properly, not spilling any of the content. Javier carries the bag into the kitchen and they prepare to eat, a light conversation between them but the moment they lock eyes they both turn red again. Yuzuru feels like a teenager but he can’t help it, Javier makes him feel thousand of butterflies taking flight inside his stomach.

\----

After they eat, Yuzuru helps clean up, leaves a few left-overs in the fridge while Javier washes some of the empty containers so he can take it back with himself later on. Javier looks sleepier as the minutes go by and Yuzuru ushers him to lay down on the couch at least if he is unwilling to go to bed. “But I want to spend time with you…” Javier whines, half asleep already, the lying position not helping to fight the tiredness. 

Yuzuru runs his fingers through his hair and presses a kiss to his forehead. “We will spend some time together but now take a nap at least. You look tired.” Javier whines again and reaches forward pulling Yuzuru down on the couch as well. Luckily it is wide enough for both of them to lay comfortably on their sides. Javiers hold is strong so even if Yuzuru would consider pulling away it would be impossible, nor does he really want to do it. He presses closer to Javier and when he closes his eyes everything feels warm and safe. Without much effort he falls asleep as well.

\----

Yuzuru wakes up when he hears a groan close to his ear and then feels an added weight on his shoulder. He blinks his eyes open to see Effie balancing on top of each their shoulders, looking down at them with a glint in her eyes. “Mi princesa, por favor…” Javier mumbles but instead of moving she digs her left claw in his shoulder, leaving Yuzuru alone. “Fine, fine...I get it...dinner time.” Hearing those words she jumps off and let’s the two of them sit up. Yuzuru reaches up to rub the remaining sleep from his eyes, while Javier stretches a little bit. When they finally look at each other, the butterflies are back in Yuzurus stomach and he leans in when Javier does, kissing him shortly. 

“Hey.” Javier greets him and Yuzuru grins, running his fingers through his hair. “Hi.” And offended meow breaks the moment, making both laugh out loud. 

“I guess I better feed her or she will bite my foot off next.” Yuzuru nods, letting Javier go to feed Effie and as he watches the two of them he wishes these moments would never stop happening.


	24. #24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The first time Javier enters the grounds of TCC it is end of January. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

The first time Javier enters the grounds of TCC it is end of January. Yuzuru has been insistent on inviting him to watch one of his training sessions, now that he is allowed to do a couple of jumps at least. It feels weird and foreign to enter through the lobby and walk up to the girl by the counter to give his name and who he is visiting. He knows all the skaters who are training here, the famous coaches and if he is honest he may be a bit scared of the later. Apparently Yuzuru informed them about their relationship status the week prior when he arranged the invite for Javier and somehow that left him a bit uneasy. He wasn’t getting introduced as a friend of Yuzurus but his boyfriend. Javier had to shake those thoughts away attention back on the girl who gives him an ID and instructs him how to find the lounge overlooking the rink. 

10:54 says his watch and he knows Yuzuru has a session at 11am with Tracy then after lunch time some off ice training and jumps at 3 p.m. Javier inhales and pushes a door open, feeling a bit of cold seeping through a door to his left. He can tell that’s where the rink is, benches lining the wall with a few skaters sitting around or putting skates on. He lets himself linger for a second then continues on to find the lounge and an empty table. Javier doesn’t need to look far because he hears his name being called, the friendly and bright face of Yumi appearing and waving at him to come closer. Javiers feels even more nervous now. While he did visit the Hanyu home and stayed over for dinner twice by now, he had never spent time with Yumi alone without Yuzuru being present.

Javier bows to her in greeting and she smiles brightly, motioning for him to sit across from her. “Yuzu on ice, soon.” She says and points to the fresh ice. In that moment he sees a all black clad body bend over to touch the ice and steps on. He could tell it’s Yuzuru by the shape of his body and mannerism. Javier watches Yuzuru for the next hour amazed at how good he is on the ice, even with the injury still healing. His edges are slowly back and he carves all the shapes Tracy instructs him to with precision. The session is coming to and end,he can tell by the cooling down exercises all of them are doing and that is the moment when Yuzuru finally looks in their directions, giving a small wave. Javier returns the wave, blushing when Yumi chuckles.

“You two, cute.” She says and stands up. “Come, take you to place Yuzu eats.” She looks around “Here too open, does not like.” Javier stands up and follows her to a more secluded section of the lounge, making him sit by a table with a small bag that he can guess is Yuzurus lunch and then she is off with a wave. 

Yuzuru appears a few minutes later in fresh change of clothes and slips into the booth next to Javier. A quick glance later he leans in to press a kiss to his lips and Javier squeezes his thigh under the table. “Hi.” Yuzuru grins and Javier is so whipped for this man he is surprising himself all over again.

“Hey...I think this is your lunch. Your mom left it with me.” He pushes the bag towards him and Yuzuru undoes the knots with delicate fingers. He produces two bentos, giving one to Javier who blinks surprised. 

“Mom, made one for you too. So you eat with me.” Yuzuru gives him a pair of chopsticks and digs into his own lunch and Javier can’t help to do the same with a smile on his face. Yuzuru talks about his training as they eat and Javier nods here and there. He is still not sure what kind of feedback he should give or if he should give any but Yuzuru seems to be content to speak to him about his progress. The dark circles he saw under his eyes in December are almost gone, he looks healthier and most importantly happy. He hopes he helped a little bit with that with his presence. Because Yuzuru definitely has brightened his life since he took the leap to agree to his invitation in Helsinki.

Both finish their food and Javier goes to buy himself a coffee and a water for Yuzuru, enjoying the last few minutes together before he has to go do his off-ice training. Javier returns to his previous spot by the rink, Yumi reading a book as she waits for her son to be finished with his training. Javier decided to watch over the other training sessions, impressed by Jason Browns spin skills especially up close like this. The time flies by and Yuzuru is back on the ice for his jump training. Javier feels anxious for what he is going to see but soon it’s clear Yuzuru is only doing doubles and a few triples. He does do his signature triple Axel and it’s still as beautiful as before his injury. That jump is really etched into his bones. 

Yuzuru falls a few times and he seems to be frustrated by some but Ghislain is talking to him at the side with a gentle expression on his face, possibly trying to make him understand that this may take some times. The sessions ends with some stroking on Yuzurus side but this time he does not wave to them. Javier is pursing his lips and jumps a little when Yumi closes her book. 

“You here with car?” She asks and Javier nods, not quite getting why she asks. “Okay, you take Yuzu with you.” Yumi is already standing up to gather her things.

“Wait...what? Aren’t you taking him home?” She looks at the ice with a solemn look.

“He needs you now.” Without further ado she is gone and Javier is left to stare at her empty chair. Did she just leave her son so he can maybe cheer him up? Javier feels his cheeks flush and covers his face with a hand. 

\----

Yuzuru arrives with his small luggage half an hour later, the ends of his hair a bit wet and halts as he only finds Javier there. “Mom?” He asks. Javier swallows.

“She left, told me to take you home or to my place, I am not sure.” Yuzurus lips part to form a small ‘o’ and he bites down on his lip. 

“Habis?” Yuzuru asks in the end and Javier melts at the expression he has on his face. Javier nods and takes the handle of his bag to lead him to his car in the parking lot. The ride to his place is short and silent, both letting the radio cut through the silence but it doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Javier had realized early on that it is never so between them and that makes him happy. Javier parks on his spot and they make their way up to his place. The moment the door opens and Yuzuru steps inside Effie is all over him. 

“Cheater.” Javier glares at her tough he can’t blame her, Yuzuru is rather charming. He leaves Yuzurus bag by the door, going to the kitchen to make them some drinks. Yuzuru walks up to him and buries his face in his back, wrapping his arms around Javier waist. 

“Thank you.” Yuzuru mumbles, squeezing him then he is back on the couch, waiting for him to join. The two settle down with Effie in Yuzurus lap, Javiers arm around his shoulders. Javier places a kiss to his temple. 


	25. #25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The first time Yuzuru slept over at Javiers place it was mid-February. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

The first time Yuzuru slept over at Javiers place it was mid-February. He felt extremely nervous of doing that but it was something natural to happen in their blooming relationship. Not once did he stay after his training late into the night and had to be driven back home either by Javier or his mother came to pick him up. Somehow it was a natural outcome that maybe if he intends to come to Javiers place after training and stay for dinner, he could sleep over. Javier was the one to suggest it with red tinted cheeks and Yuzuru couldn’t help but agree. 

Now here they are, on a Saturday afternoon after his last training session for the week, Javier waiting for him in the lounge to take him home. There is an extra bag by his side, which his mother had with her than left before his training was over. Javier smiled when he spotted Yuzuru walking towards him with his skating bag in tow and without much delay he left the club. Javier helped him with his bags, even though Yuzuru was more than capable of carrying his stuff, the older did not wish to hear a words about it. Yuzuru pouted all the way up to Javiers apartment but rewarded his boyfriend with a long overdo kiss. At the club he still tried his best not to show too much affection. It may be a safer place than Japan but you could never truly know and luckily Javier understood that completely. 

Javier took his overnight bag to the bedroom and showed Yuzuru a drawer he could use to put all his things, no need to keep them in the bag, where all the towels and extra toothbrush was. Yuzuru had to bite his lip all throughout the guiding tour because this was different. Javier willingly made space inside his home for him and not just temporary. It took all his power not to kiss him silly right in the middle of the bathroom.

\----

Dinner was the usual affair with Javier cooking a meal that would fit his dietary requirements but it always tasted good, different from his mother's cooking. Yuzuru helped with cleaning up afterwards, washing the dishes as that was the only proactive thing he could do to help. Javier gave Effie her dinner and the two settled in on the couch for a few hours watching some random movie on the TV. Since he had no training or other appointments the next day, he could allow himself to stay up longer than usual.

Shortly before midnight they decided to get ready for bed, Javier going to take a shower first and make the bed. “You are not sleeping on the couch, I hope you know that.” He added with a smirk and Yuzuru understood that he wouldn’t even take the guest bedroom. It made him feel a bit nervous. Since New Years to now the two have shared a lot of kisses and there may have been some making out involved once or twice but Javier was respectful and didn’t push things. It made Yuzuru feel a bit frustrated. He was so lost in his thoughts he jumped a little when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey.. you okay? The bathroom is yours.” Javier smiled at him and Yuzuru blushed, nodding his head.

“Yes, sorry...lost in thought.” Standing up he pressed a kiss to his boyfriends cheeks, grabbed the change of clothes he needed and hurried to the bathroom. Yuzuru leaned against the door, letting out a long breath. He needs to get his shit together, it is not like Javier is expecting anything to happen tonight. The took naps on the couch before, just cuddling close, kissed for hours without doing anything further.

“But...I want to…” He admitted to himself, groaning he took his clothes off and stood under the water for God knows how long, thinking about his own admission and wondering if Javier wants too. Finally finishing with his shower, he dressed in his favourite soft pajamas, leaving the two buttons open. Taking a deep breath he stepped out of the bathroom, looking around to see that the living room was now dark, the only light coming in the apartment was from the bedroom.

“さあ!(Here we go)” Yuzuru pushed the door open and found Javier laying on one side of the bed, wearing his glasses with a book in hand. 

“Ah, I thought you drowned in there.” He teased and Yuzuru rolled his eyes.

“No, I am good.” Yuzuru folded his clothes and made sure to put them inside his bag, than walked to the edge of the bed. “Uhm…” He didn’t really know if he should just lay down or.

“Come.” Javier looked at him with so much affection he couldn’t help but do so. Yuzuru laid down next to him, curling up under his arm. Javier throwing the blanket over him as well but not yet putting his book away. “I have a page or two from this chapter, do you mind if I finish?” Yuzuru shook his head, actually enjoying the fact that he has a few more minutes left to work himself through his crisis. What he did not account for was that he actually felt tired and sleepy. Yuzuru fell asleep feeling comfortable and warm. The next time he woke up he lay on his side, warmth at his back and the first rays of morning sun coming through the curtain openings.

His eyes flew open and he tensed up instantly. Did he really just fall asleep? Why didn’t Javier wake him up. He felt embarrassed and covered his face with his hands, trying not to groan at himself. Javier moved behind him and that made him feel something else press against him and his blush intensified for a whole different reason. It made him also realize his own dilemma down south and wondered if it would just go away if he ignored it. Javier appeared to be fast asleep, his breath even and heavy against the back of his neck. Either Javier had sensed how tense he was or he woke up for other reasons, Yuzuru doesn’t know but happens next is that lips ghost over his neck and exposed shoulder. The arms Javier had thrown around his middle tightens and sneaks under his pajama shirt. 

The contact of his warm palm to his stomach draws an unexpected moan from him. He claps his hand over his mouth, pressing his eyes closed feeling even more so embarrassed. Javier sits up and turns Yuzuru on his back, removing his hands from his face. There is so much emotion in his eyes, Yuzuru can’t help but stare, mouth going dry. Javier is hovering over him and just stares for a minute or two. Yuzuru throws every caution out the window and wraps his arms and legs around him, pulls him in for a deep kiss. 

Both of them moan when they brush against each other and Yuzuru buries his fingers in Javiers hair, drinking in his taste. He doesn’t know how long they kiss, or when Javiers hands start to wonder along his body, under his clothes but he arches into every single touch. His body is burning and he moans again. “H-habi…” Javier whispers something in his ear, Yuzuru can’t understand at all and then his his hand slips inside his pants. It doesn’t take long and he is arching away from the bed with a loud gasp. He vaguely hears Javier moaning too but everything is a blur for a few minutes after. 

Javier pressed small kisses along his face and Yuzuru is smiling, looking at him in the dim light. He is vaguely aware of the mess on his exposed chest and when he glances down he sees a dark patch on Javiers boxers too, his face relaxed and flushed. 

“Good morning…” He whispers and Javier laughs, burying his face in his neck, shoulders shaking with his laughter. 

“Come on...we should go and clean up.” Javier detaches himself from Yuzuru and holds out his hand to pull him up. “And maybe go back to sleep after… it’s still early.” Yuzuru can’t help but agree.


	26. #26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier felt nervous to plan to his trip to Japan. It would be his first ever visit to this beautiful country, on top of that he would go and support his boyfriend at the World Championships. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /N: Javier POV

Javier felt nervous to plan to his trip to Japan. It would be his first ever visit to this beautiful country, on top of that he would go and support his boyfriend at the World Championships. He loved figure skating too and seeing such a big competition in person felt always such a huge event. Days before his trip he was working day and night on his videos, editing and shooting last minute footages. Their plans meant he would stay with Yuzuru in Japan after the Championships for another week. Yuzuru does not intend to participate in World Team Trophy but he would like to spend a bit of time with his family since he is already back home. Yumi invited him to stay at their home in Sendai, using the chance to introduce him to the whole family.

Javier was close to panic. 

Effie must have felt his struggle because she jumped on his lap to bump her head against his chin. “Ah...Effie...what do I do? It’s only a few more days… you are going to hate me for being away for a long time again, neither is Yuzuru coming by to visit and… do you think his family is going to like me?” He rubbed under her chin, making her purr. “It is clear that his mom is supportive of us but I have no idea about the rest of his family. On top of it, we have to be very careful in Japan not to be seen...how...I am so worried and anxious.” Javier threw his head back staring up at his living room ceiling. 

Yuzuru has been spending less time the past weeks at his place, concentrating on the upcoming competition, which he understood completely. While he did miss him, he didn’t want to distract him from what was important. It also helped him to work on several new projects, make sure all his social media and Youtube channel was up to date. He even hit 3 million subscribers by end of February which was a huge achievement for him. The little bit of extra distance with both concentrating on their work helped him to accept a few future collaborations. He would even write a few blog about figure skating and he was invited to even give some short interviews. Of course all in the nature of “Up and coming Youtuber enjoys watching Figure Skating in his free time”. His vlogs about ACI and Helsinki had blown up and people were already asking which event he is going to go to next. 

Javier hasn’t announced it yet, that he is going to Saitama, as he knows how strict the rules about photography and recording are at competitions in Japan. He doesn’t have a media pass, so he won’t be able to take any pictures. He simply didn’t feel the need to throw out false hopes to those wanting to see more of his photography. Though he did consider of shooting a short Japan travel vlog, if he gets some nice footage, all while making sure Yuzuru would nowhere to be seen in it. 

Javier groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. “This is a logistic nightmare...I can’t take photos, I am not sure I will be able to have any footage of my travel at all. I am scared to meet his family, nor can I openly hold his hand in public or be remotely close to him…” Javier would still do it though. He didn’t just like him at this point but he was madly in love. 

“Do you think I should confess to him about that before we leave for Saitama or just…” Effie hopped off his lap, obviously losing interest in his thoughts. “Maybe I shouldn’t, he is already worried so much his jumps are going to behave. That Salchow is really not working and...I don’t know, I would rather not distract him.” Javier sighed again, turning back to his laptop to finish his latest video, upload and set a schedule for it.

\----

Javier is lost in his work, the sound of keys unlocking his door making him look up. Yuzuru steps through the door, looking at him with a soft smile.

Javier can’t help but grin, save whatever he was doing and closing his laptop to greet his boyfriend. “I see you used the key.” 

Yuzuru blushes and nods. “Yes...I thought you may be working on things so I didn’t want to disturb you if you were.” He puts his skating bag by the door and wraps his arms around Javiers neck, pressing their lips together. 

“I didn’t expect you to come around today, don’t you have to check in with your doctor tomorrow morning?” He asks though he tightens his hold around Yuzurus waist, enjoying the fact he still gets to see his boyfriend. 

“I saw him today, that is why late. It is as we know...could be better but should do.” Javier presses a kiss to his forehead and hums. 

“You are going to be amazing, I know it.” Yuzuru nuzzled his face against his neck. 

“Hmm… as long as Habi is there. I am okay.” They remain there, holding each other for a while but then Javier asks if Yuzuru is hungry or should they go to bed. Yuzuru shakes his head, opting for sleep and Javier goes with him, as it was quite late.

\----

Javier is surprisingly the first to wake the following morning and he slips out of bed without disturbing Yuzurus sleep. He closes the bedroom door behind him to avoid Effie going in and waking him up. A few hours extra sleep can’t hurt him. After washing up, Javier makes fresh coffee and gets to work on their breakfast. Yumi had emailed him Yuzurus latest plan a few days ago, so he is prepared to make meals fitting to it. He just puts the last touches to their breakfast when he hears some shuffling. Yuzuru emerges with hair standing all different directions, scratching at his stomach.

“Ohayo…” He mumbles and if Javier didn’t fear to drop the grilled fish he is holding he would snap a pictures of this sight. Yuzuru approaches him and rests his chin on his shoulder. “What time?” Javier carefully puts the food he is holding down and wraps his arm around Yuzuru, swaying them side to side.

“It is shortly after nine. I left you sleep in since you said you have no appointments. But you woke up on time, breakfast is ready. Go wash up and I will make you some tea.” Yuzuru presses his lips to his neck than he is off to the bathroom. 

They enjoy a peaceful breakfast and move to the couch to cuddle with their warm drinks. Yuzuru seems solemn but Javier is not asking questions. He knows this is the stage where he needs to work himself through it alone first. He has a lot of consider with a flight in two days to Japan. All Javier can offer is an arm around his shoulder and kisses to his temple.

“Do you really think that I could win in Saitama?” Yuzuru asks an hour later, both still in the same position. Javier cups his cheek to make him look in his eyes.

“I believe you can conquer the world no matter how hard it may look. You are a fighter, a warrior and you can achieve anything you set your mind to. I believe in you more than I believe in myself but I also know how things are not ideal…” Yuzuru purses his lips. “...but it won’t stop you, you will fight. And at the end of the day I will be proud of you and love you just the way you are.” Yuzurus eyes widened and Javier realized that he had said it out loud. “Uhm… I mean…”

Yuzuru leaned in and pressed his lips against his. “I love you too.” He whispered against his lips and Javier pulled him closer, deepening their kiss.


	27. #27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier felt even more nervous on the day of his flight. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV.  
Fair warning: My next update is going to be on Wednesday the 30th, afterwards on the 1st and 4th there won't be any updates as I am traveling. I will pick up posting on the 6th again. Thank you for understanding.

Javier felt even more nervous on the day of his flight. Yuzuru has solely decided to book the same one as his and his mothers too.  _ ‘It is easy. _ ’ He had said and Javier had agreed because apparently the flights before the competition were either full or priced way higher than he could afford. He was not earning badly with his revenue and sponsorships but he still had to watch out for big spendings. They did have a small discussion about Yuzuru paying for his flight and also his hotel, because apparently him getting another room wouldn’t be an issue plus he could arrange it to be on the same floor as his, making meeting much easier during a competition. Javier knows how easy that was in Helsinki, just to be in rooms across from each other and they weren’t dating back then. 

In the end he yielded and let Yuzuru deal with that though he refused anything else. He was already getting a ticket, flight and hotel booked. But Yuzuru only looked happier when he agreed and he couldn’t really be too upset about it in the end. Pride or not he is going to Japan to support his boyfriend at the biggest competition of the year. He should concentrate on that.

So now here he was in the ANA business lounge waited for their boarding to be announced. Javier sat with Yuzurus group which at first he considered to be risky but everyone just gave him a wave of hand. They were still in Canada, worries and being careful can come once they are landing in Japan. Javier got up to fetch himself a cup of coffee and after a quick glance at the empty cup of Yuzuru, got him a refill too. Yuzuru glanced up from his frantic typing for an assignment due the day of their arrival to give him a sweet smile, then he was back to his typing. 

Javier ended up having a very pleasant conversation with Yumi and Ghislain before they were all boarding the plane. Yuzuru really did pull some strings with his airline because the seat assignment ended with Javier sitting next to Yuzuru. He playfully rolled his eyes at the stupid satisfied grin Yuzuru had on his face. 

Javier sat down in his seat after taking out a few essentials he may need for the take off but he didn’t bother with anything else. He will either watch movies or just sleep. Yuzuru on the other hand definitely took his time to settle in. Three headphones, Pooh and some notebooks later he was finally seated.

“Movies, sleep or schoolwork?” Javier asked leaning closer to Yuzuru.

“Make some notes for condition...and then maybe one movie. I should try nap but don’t want it to be close to landing. Too sleepy and media will be there.” Javier frowned remembering the airport footage he saw from Pyeongchang, shivering at the idea it may not be all too different now in Saitama. 

“Do you want to watch something together and then we both sleep? I probably should rest myself...been a bit anxious about all this. Last night didn’t sleep much and Effie wasn’t all too pleased knowing I leave.”

Yuzuru nodded and buried himself in his notebook, scribbling down fast so by the time they were at the right altitude he could put it away and argue for ten minutes at least with Javier about the movie they would watch. 

Both fell asleep halfway into the movie, waking up to the soft buzzing of an alarm they have set so both were awake three hours before the landing. 

\----

The two managed to get up for the inflight meal and enjoyed it while talking about the schedule Yuzuru is going to have. If Javier was honest he already got dizzy just looking at how the other would hardly have time to breathe let alone sleep, eat and just generally not have cameras in his face 24/7. But Yuzuru just shrugged it off as  _ ‘It’s normal’ _ . Javier added copied the schedule into his phone and prayed he would actually get to hug Yuzuru during their time in Japan, not just watch him rush to the arena, give interviews or skate on the ice. Though the later he was actually looking forward to. Yuzuru was magnificent even during training. 

\----

The plan was simple. Yumi and Javier would do their best in avoiding the media and get to the car that would take them to the hotel.Yuzuru would be their distraction essentially with his coaches and linger, give whatever interview they want at the airport and take another car. Javier was worried it may not be a good idea as many knew Yumi and seeing her with some stranger could get them headlines too but nobody cared about them. 

  
The drive to the hotel wasn’t too long, the usual commute anyone would need to consider if they are going to the city from an airport. Yumi and Javier both checked into their hotel rooms, going up together but Yumi went down again to make sure her son would be there soon. Javier decided to settle into his apparently suit room. Once he thought all his items were in the right places and he made himself some coffee from the packs provided by the hotel, sat down by the window enjoying the beautiful view of Tokyo. He couldn’t help but take a picture for his instagram, uploading it too. 

Javier lost track of time but it was getting darker, lights on the streets slowly flickering to life when a knock on his door disturbed the silence of his room. Placing his now empty mug on the small table he went to check who it was, quickly opening when he spotted Yuzuru through the peephole. 

“Hi, Habi.” Yuzuru greeted and slipped inside as soon as Javier gave him room. Instantly he felt arms wrapping around his neck and lips pressing to his own. He realized then that since Canada this was the first time they shared physical affection and he let himself enjoy every second of it. 

“Wow, that is a greeting I always enjoy.” He whispered after they broke apart. Javier looked at Yuzuru properly and he could see the tiredness of travel but also a layer of annoyance. He could only guess it was due to the media. Instead of asking questions he pulled Yuzuru towards the bed. “You have a bit of time?” He asked and his boyfriend nodded.

“About a hour or two, then I have to go, sleep...practice tomorrow.” Javier grinned and got them under the covers in speed time, enveloping Yuzuru in a warm hug. 

“Good, we have a quick nap.” Yuzuru didn’t object, burying his face against his neck. Javier had to charge up for the next days. He knew things won’t be easy for Yuzuru, especially with the added pressure of homeground. Regardless he is going to be a few rooms down, ready to give him the kind of time off he needs. He came to support his boyfriend and that is exactly what he is going to do. Even if it means hiding in hotel rooms and not being able to be by his side like he wishes he could sometimes. Japan was way too different from Canada.


	28. #28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Watching a competition in Japan is nothing Javier had expected. He did know the crowd will be possibly bigger, there will be lines everywhere, taking pictures and videos forbidden._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV. As mentioned before there won't be any new update until the 6th of November, thank you for understanding! ♥

Watching a competition in Japan is nothing Javier had expected. He did know the crowd will be possibly bigger, there will be lines everywhere, taking pictures and videos forbidden. He knew all these things and more in advance but it did not prepare him for the long line he would be standing in for over an hour, just to get in for practice. Javier had refused a backstage pass from Yuzuru because that would have raised way too many questions he doesn’t want the other to answer, nor force Yuzuru to do so. He already did a lot for him, he can stand in line with a cup of coffee in hand. 

The atmosphere inside the arena way before he even takes his seat is already overwhelming and he is amazed at how Yuzuru can carry himself with confidence. The pressure is there, the number of eyes watching him multiplied by a thousand. More cameras are around than the ones he has seen in Helsinki too and it scares him knowing all will be aiming their lense at the Japanese Team specifically but maybe more so Yuzuru. Javier feels like everything is too much and he is not the one who will go on the ice soon and show his skating after he had been recovering from an injury; essentially missing half of the season. 

He sits in his place with a heavy stone in his stomach and prays to whoever is out there to give Yuzuru a bit of breathing room. He understands now the need to rest, how he just wanted to cuddle and feel Javier being there in person for this competition. So many things are running through his head he feels a dull ache forming already. Yuzuru knew what it’s like to compete back home, with the generic pressure but with his recovery now the expectation was stronger and he doesn’t know how he deserves this kind of trust. To be trusted to be there in case Yuzuru needs the comfort of a familiar and important person in his life. Javier swallows and closes his eyes for a few minutes, collecting himself. He is pulled out of his thoughts when the announcer speaks and invites the skaters for the practice.

Javier doesn’t need to hear his name to be said because his eyes are already on him, watching as he takes his first warm up lap. The noise is deafening and Javier finds himself praying again. 2019 World Championships in Saitama is going to be a difficult competition, in more than one sense.

\----

The practice went well, or as well as it can do given several circumstances. Yuzuru looks a bit displeased by his quad salchow but that has been giving him issues for a longer time now. Javier knows how difficult it has been to do jumps since the injury for Yuzuru. Nevertheless he appears to be in a chipper mood, animated as usual as he points at different points on the ice or talks to his coaches by the boards. Javier knows that some of those moments are played, the carefully adjusted fasade to give the fans and officials what they want to see. Yuzuru had learned a long time ago, for years now the amount of eyes watching him and wishing him to fail. He told Javier during one of their nights together and hearing that from Yuzuru hurt more than knowing it from social media or news outlets. Yuzuru saw it all, knew exactly who was friend or foe, who only waited for the right moment to turn the tables for their advance, not caring if they are hurting him.

Javier shakes himself awake, clapping as the skaters are bowing and he can’t help but smile as he is watching Yuzuru bow to his coaches too. It is also his queue to get up and maybe try to find himself some snack and a drink. He planned to watch everything today as Yuzuru won’t be back to the hotel until hours later and since he was here, he may as well make the best of it. As expected the line at one of the stores is long but Javier waits and gets himself some onigiri, water and a coffee. Finding a corner for himself he takes his phone out, checks on Effie via her babysitter and the pet camera he had set up in the living room. He follows up with his social media, replying to some comments and makes sure his next video was posted too. 

All in check and his food eaten he makes his way back to enjoys some skating.

\----

Yuzuru comes to his hotel room way later than Javier had expected, he was already falling asleep and giving up on the idea that he would even come. It was obvious how busy his day would be but in the end he still made effort. Yuzuru stops him from getting up and instead moves under the covers again, pressing himself to Javier. They don’t say anything and Javier falls asleep properly after a few minutes.

\----

Javier wakes up to Yuzuru being gone but a note is sitting on his bedside table, informing him that he already left because had to so more interviews before his practice. He is not surprised but appreciates the gesture, putting the note away. He gets up, goes about his morning routine and even has time for proper breakfast at the hotel, seeing a few other athletes having breakfast too. 

“Hi Javier, can I sit?” Javier jumps a bit not expecting to be addressed by anyone but he recognizes that voice. It is Jason and he nods slowly. They have met a couple of times at TCC and he is pretty sure he is aware of the nature of his relationship with Yuzuru but never really commented on it. Exchanged greetings, smiles but otherwise never had the chance to chat. The American sits down with a bright smile. “Good to see you here.” There is a knowing glint to his eyes but he is obviously careful with the words he is using. Javier appreciates it.

“Good to see you too. Yes, couldn’t miss such a big event. So many good skaters.” Jason bites down on his toast, his eyes shining. 

“You ready? Practice looked good yesterday.” The other shakes his head a bit.

“Could be better but working with what I got. A bit nervous about it but that’s not unusual. Brian is trying to keep us all in control but he is a bit nervous too.” Javier nods, understanding. TCC has quite a big group of skaters competing especially in singles and that could become an organizational nightmare for them. Jason finishes his breakfast and is about to say something when someone calls his name. It is Shoma Uno. Javiers eyes meet with his and for a split moment he wonders if he should even say something, greet or nod. Shoma is the first to move, actually smiles at Javier the same way Jason did before and bows lightly. Then he says something in Japanese to Jason he cannot catch at all and he is gone just as fast as he came. 

“I am sorry, Javier. I will need to go or I will miss my shuttle.” Jason picked up his plate and smiled at him. Javier nodded.

“Good luck.” He said and Jason smiled brighter if that was even possible. Javier remained in his seat for a few minutes, letting the short exchange with Jason and Shoma go through his mind. Especially Shoma. Did he maybe know? His expression showed something along the lines of recognition of a person he had seen before but they have not met. He takes out his phone and considers sending Yuzuru a message to ask but decides against it. Yuzuru has competition and he shouldn’t be bothered with such trivial questions. He knows the two skaters are good friends, so if Shoma knows about them, it is because Yuzuru trusted him with the information. Checking his watch he quickly finishes his coffee and almost runs out of the hotel. He can’t miss practice.


	29. #29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The Short program arrived faster than Javier was mentally prepared for it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV.  
Also I has returned, it was a rough weekend. I thought I had an update ready, ended up needing to write it this morning because I clowned myself real hard... I tried to make up for the lack of plot by other means? Kind of... Hope y'all like it. ♥

The Short program arrived faster than Javier was mentally prepared for it. He found himself to be rather useless in the sense of support for Yuzuru too. He was there, held him, kissed him too whenever he had a few hours free. They napped most of the time together though and he was more than content with that but was Yuzuru too? Javier still hadn’t found the right way to read him when it comes to competition moods. There is just this tendency to hide his true emotions from everyone around him. His practices went well considering the crowd and pressure but Javier felt something was off. His gut told him that it wasn’t as easy for Yuzuru to compete now after injury, on home ground as he was trying to make it look like. Yuzuru was way too good with keeping several facades going in front of cameras and people he didn’t know well.

Javier sat between all the fans supporting Yuzuru, screaming and cheering for him with every single movement he took on the ice during warm up. But he didn’t let himself be fooled like others. Yuzurus shoulders were tense and his fingers twitched way too many times, his brain running a mile a minute. Javier let himself glance at the coaches and both of them displayed the same emotions - nervous and worried. 

For the first time he had watched Yuzuru skate he clasped his hands together and prayed. 

—-

The blasted quad Salchow. Javier ran a frustrated hand along his face, not the only one in the crowd. Everyone was tense and disappointed. Yuzuru tried to smile in the KIss & Cry and his coaches were trying to cheer him up as well but Javier knew it wasn’t enough. 

Third place after the short program. Javier looked at Yuzuru until he vanished behind the curtains, not even really caring about any other event that may happen. He moved the second the announcer informed them about resurfacing. He didn’t think Yuzuru would be back in the hotel for a couple of more hours, the media would jump on his instantly and demand answers for his mistake in the short program, but in case he would return he wanted to be there already.

He was pacing around his hotel room for at least an hour when the door got unlocked and Yuzuru stepped inside, eyes cast to the floor. Javier stopped in the middle of the room and waited, not even daring to breathe. Without saying a word the younger walked up to him, wrapped his arms around his shoulders and buried his face against his neck. Javiers arms moved in a second to circle it around him. 

They hugged for a really long time, though after a few minutes Yuzuru was more leaning towards him, limp and obviously devastated about the mistake he made, his current placement. Javier could only guess how much he already thought about his layout and what he needs to do to make up for some of the points he had lost. Additionally it was obvious it won’t be easy because the judges have shown their preference towards Nathan and how easily they are going to push his scores in the free. They have been doing it since US Nationals. Javier rubbed his boyfriend's back softly until Yuzuru stepped back to look at him. His eyes were filled with unshed tears but he stubbornly didn’t let them fall.

“What do you say to a nice bath, some food and a lot of cuddles? Sounds good?” Javier offered, brushing his thumb along Yuzurus cheeks, making him hum and close his eyes.

“Hai.”

—-

Javier ordered some room service and afterwards filled the tub with warm water, put the scented bubble bath Yuzuru liked in and helped him peel off each item of clothing he had on. Yuzuru let him take care of him, help him into the bath and Javier joined him too. Once inside the younger leaned against his chest and Javier planted a few soft kisses on his naked shoulder. They didn’t speak, there was no need to and if Yuzuru didn’t wish to mention what happened in the arena he is not going to force it. Instead he would offer the amount of comfort he can for him. Javier lost track of time for a while, hands gently brushing along Yuzurus soft skin, making sure to clean every inch.

He was meant to keep his touches soft but as his fingers brushed the inside of Yuzurus thighs he let out a small whimper, spreading them as an unspoken invitation. Javier felt a wave of pleasure flooding his chest down to his groin, hand wondering further up. Yuzuru leaned his head back against his shoulder, soft puffs of air leaving his parted lips, a long moan slipping past as Javier wrapped his hand around him. Javier moved his hand slow, letting the soft sounds guide him, they were in no hurry, he only tightened his hold when the Yuzuru started to sound close, desperate for more.

The younger tensed inside his arms, arching away from his chest, calling his name in the peak of his release. “H-habi…” Javier had to muffle his own moan against his neck, barely containing himself from biting down on the skin. Yuzuru went limp for a couple of minutes tired and blissed out and so was Javier. When they finally moved, he helped the other to get up, rinse themselves off and get out of the by now cold bath water. Javier wrapped Yuzuru in one of the big fluffy robes provided by the hotel and literally carried him to bed. Yuzuru smiled up at him and pulled Javier in for a soft kiss.

The moment got disturbed by a knock on the door, their food arriving. Javier took the cart, avoiding to let anyone in as they should not exactly see a half naked, blissed out Yuzuru Hanyu on top of his bed. Yuzuru sat up in bed and accepted the plate of food from Javier though he obviously had struggled enjoying it. For the sake of Javier and his own body that requires nutrition for the upcoming free though he made sure to eat most of it. Javier was happy that Yuzuru had a day between his two events, maybe that would be enough time to calm down and collect himself.

After eating Javier moved the cart before the door so nobody would disturb them and slid under the covers with Yuzuru. He wrapped his arms around the younger, who cuddled close to him again.

“Arigatou, Habi.” Yuzuru kissed his lips and Javier brushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes.

“There is nothing to thank me for. I am just doing whatever I can to make sure my boyfriend is happy.” That earned him a small smile and another peck to his lips.

“Habi always makes me happy. Just having you here is enough for me. I am so happy you are here with me.” This time it was him who leaned in to kiss Yuzuru, first softly but easily the kiss turned more heated. Yuzuru rolled on top of him and slid his hand under the bathrobe. Javier threw his head back against the pillow with a moan. “And I will make sure to show, how much.” Yuzuru whispered in his ear before biting down on his earlobe.


	30. #30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru was literally hiding in Javiers room unless he had to be forced out for practice or discussions with his coaches, making plans for the free._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV  
*NEW INFO* Updating schedule is MON - FRI as of 11.11.2019, due to real life I have to skip the Wednesday updates for a little while. I have a lot of travel and a rather busy schedule until end of year and to keep my sanity going and still bring regular updates, I am making this change for now. Thank you for understanding.

Yuzuru was literally hiding in Javiers room unless he had to be forced out for practice or discussions with his coaches, making plans for the free. Every other free minute he had possessed he stayed inside. Which was nice but they also needed maybe food and drinks other than room service. Javier managed to detangle himself from the octopus Yuzuru had become in the morning, promised to be back quickly from the convenience store he learned of being nearby. Yuzurus pout got kissed by him and then he was off at a speed of light to get a few things.

On his way though he ran into Jason and Shoma, who were also planning to go and buy some food (unhealthy the best as Javier would describe the content of their basket later).

“How is Yuzu-kun?” Shoma had asked him when they were not surrounded by many people, keeping his voice low.

“You know, the usual, disappointed. He is thinking how to make a good comeback but there are some shadows he has to work himself through. Honestly, we haven’t really talked much, I don’t want to force him to do that. He needs space but also company, I do not know how to explain it properly.”

“I get.” Shoma nodded with a smile, understanding in his eyes and Javier wondered if maybe him spending time with Jason was also his coping mechanism. Aside from Jason who did a spectacular short, Shoma struggled with his own short program and the free won’t be easy for him either. 

“He will be fine and so will you.” Javier gave a reassuring smile and Shomas lips curled in a small one of his own. They may not be close or know each other personally but he knew enough of Shoma due to Yuzuru and Jason that the shorter was struggling a bit now too. 

The trio almost raided the convenience store, Javier was sure some of his own choices for snacks were more chemical than anything else but maybe a bit of those would be nice to have in his room. He made sure to pick at least two of Yuzurus favourite snacks as well. He may not want to eat it before the free but maybe afterwards. He would rather be prepared. No matter the outcome after the competitions, Yuzuru would possibly stumble into his room very late at night or early morning after being pressed on by the media for at least 14 interviews. A late night snack and some kisses would wait for him from Javier. That he could promise.

Javier paid for his items and grabbed his bag, waiting for Shoma and Jason, who somehow bought half of the snack aisle from the pile on the counter. He could only shake his head at them, holding back some laughter. He ended up carrying some bags for the two because they couldn’t with that amount of snacks. Back in the hotel Lobby they split up but before Javier could take the elevator up to his room Shoma took out a bag of chips and gave it to him.

“For Yuzu-kun, one of his new favourites. Can’t buy elsewhere.” Javier nodded with a smile.

“Thank you, Shoma-kun.” The younger smiled brightly and off he was as fast as he had appeared. Javier glanced at the bag, unable to read the text but a few of the fruit characters told him that this was something sweet with strawberries. Placing it inside his bag he finally pushed the button to call the elevator, excited to see Yuzuru.

—-

Back inside the room he was greeted by a small body colliding with his and insistent lips on his neck. “Hmm.. Habi been gone to long.” Javier knew for a fact that he wasn’t even gone and hour but firm hands moved under his shirt, making him drop the bag he was holding.

—-

The morning of the free Javier found it hard to wake up but Yuzuru obviously didn’t. Compared to the two days prior he was less sluggish and he didn’t cling to him. Instead he got up first, took a shower in the bathroom, changed into his clothes which his mother had brought to him the night before, including his skating bag and everything he will need for practice and the competition. Javier watched him shuffling around the room from the comfort of the bed, a small smile on his lips. He had time to get ready and go to the arena, Yuzuru on the other hand had to leave much earlier.

Completely dressed and ready to leave, Yuzuru approached him at the bed, bending down to kiss his forehead. “See you later.” He whispered and Javier hummed.

“You can do this. I know you can.” He said those words again and something flashed in Yuzurus eyes, a fire he had not seen often. Javier knew Yuzuru was ready to fight for whatever is yet to come that day. “I love you.” He added in a whisper before the other pulled back. A fond smile appeared on the skaters face.

“I love you too.” They kissed on the lips at that, short and sweet and Javier wished they could just go back to sleep, cuddle for a few more hours but he didn’t voice that out. No, he let Yuzuru take the handle of his small suitcase and leave his hotel room.

Javier hissed at the coldness of the room once he forced himself out of the warm bed, hurrying to the shower to get ready for the competition.

—-

Javier arrived at the arena early enough for his standards and plans but the line must have multiplied compared to the previous days and it took him a long while to get to his assigned seat. There was something tense in the arena, he could feel it. People looked worried for what is to come and Javier kind of felt grateful to watch some practices before the actual competition. Even the number of TV cameras appeared to have doubled since yesterday by the boards and he could only imagine how it would be backstage. Javier gave a silent prayer again, surprising himself that he reached for faith and some unknown power above to be gracious to the skaters today, especially Yuzuru.

In the end, his prayers weren’t heard.

—-

Watching the last group of skaters in Saitama may have been the hardest thing Javier had to watch. The pressure could be felt all around in the arena and so many of them have fallen to it. Javier heart atched for Shoma, who had an even rougher skate than his short was. Landing on the podium became a much harder task for luck than anything else and he couldn’t help but clench his fist in slight anger towards the judges. 

Javier had a hard time concentrating on Matteo and he felt sorry for the young Italian but his mind has been occupied with knowing Yuzuru would be after him. Javier spotted Yuzuru by the boards and he felt himself tense up completely, almost forgetting how to breathe. Yuzuru looked extremely nervous himself, fidgeting and taking his time to do his routine, an extra squeeze to Pooh.

“Next on the ice, representing Japan, Yuzuru Hanyu.” The announcer's voice was drowned out by the screams of the crowd and Javier closed his eyes for a few seconds, only opening them when he knew Yuzuru gave his cue and took his starting position.

Javier lost all track of his surroundings for the next four and half minutes, watching his boyfriend skate with so much power. Rising like a phoenix from his ashes and showing the world that he wasn’t done yet. He didn’t realize his tears spilling out from mid-performance onwards, until he couldn’t see clearly anymore, only splotches of white, red and so much yellow.


	31. #31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru tried to put on a brave face, his mask he always wore in front of the cameras but today it was much harder than on any previous occasion._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV --> Please note that the next update is Friday. For the time being I am unable to update 3 times a week but will try to have 2 chapters for you still. Thank you!

Yuzuru tried to put on a brave face, his mask he always wore in front of the cameras but today it was much harder than on any previous occasion. He was angry, sad and disappointed, among other emotions he barely had the energy to decypher. He just wished to have this event all over and curl up in a hotel bed with Javier. What made Yuzuru really rage was not his own difficulties in getting the gold but the balant underscoring and wrongful calls for his Team mates. While not being perfect they did deserve more and than it wouldn’t be him alone, the only one giving a medal to Japan. But with his own mistakes and the overscoring of Nathan, his chances were low from the start. He wasn’t delusional going into the free, he knew it would be a fight but he did deliver everything he was capable of on a still almost completely busted ankle but it wasn’t enough anymore. It was clear now who was favoured and the agenda towards him is also clear. 

They want him gone from figure skating but he is not going to walk away feeling like this. No, he will come back stronger and show the world that he is not done yet. Yuzuru is young, he can’t help it that while he is young he had been on top of the senior circuit for ten years. It cost him a lot of blood, sweat and tears to be here still. The only person or thing that can tell him how long he is able to go on is himself and his busted ankle. Nobody else.

Yuzuru soldiered through the medal ceremony, biting his lip as the anthem of another country could be heard and saw the sad faces of his fans in the crowd. He was proud of them too, to still support and not repeat some events he has a teenager had to experience. No, his fans were better. They would clap to congratulate the other medalists no matter how painful it is for them to see Yuzuru struggling with that. For them he put on a smile and decided to joke around during the victory ceremony.

At first he didn’t know if he should do it but decided it didn’t matter, he cupped his hand next to his mouth and called out. “Shoma!” Luckily the ceremony was over quick and he was ushered to a room to freshen up, preparing for the onslaught of media and their invasive questions. Yuzuru felt exhausted already just thinking about all the same questions he has to answer but there was no other way. 

Somewhere along the madness backstage he had met Shoma for a split second and pulled him into a hug. “You did the best you could. Be proud of that.” He squeezed the younger a bit tighter, happy when Shoma actually returned the embrace, then both were ushered to their interviews. 

Yuzuru lost count of the people, questions or how many TV stations he gave interviews for, it was well past midnight when he was finally let go to return to the hotel for a rest. There would be more interviews the following day before and after the gala. Yuzuru just sighed, leaning his head against the window of the car taking him back to the hotel. 

—-

At first he wondered if he should even go to Javiers room or let him be but he felt selfish. He was walking a thin line of breaking down and holding himself together and the only reason he felt more sane was because Javier had been around. The past days, hiding in his room felt like a little escape from all the chaos Japan brings especially with attention and pressure. So instead of going to his room, which he only used at this point as storage for all his belongings he made his way to Javiers. With the extra keycard he owned he opened the door.

Yuzuru expected darkness and Javier being asleep but instead there was a small light from one of the nightstands and when he rounded the small corner from the entryway, his boyfriend was leaning against the headboard typing away on his laptop. The noise of the door closing must have alerted him because he raised his head from the screen. 

“Hi…” Yuzuru whispered pushing his bag towards the wall where it wouldn’t disturb them. Javier tapped on his keyboard quickly then closed it and put it aside. 

“Come here.” He opened his arms still in the same position and Yuzuru went to him, almost throwing himself in his arms. Javier wrapped his own around his shoulders and Yuzuru curling up against his chest. He felt a soft press to the top of his head. “You fought well today.” Javier whispered and that was when the dam finally broke and Yuzuru broke down in tears.

Javier didn’t say anything more, just held him through it, trying to sooth him before the crying turns into an asthma attack. It took Yuzuru a long time to calm down and he felt even more drained after but when he looked up with teary eyed at Javier, nothing else mattered. Javier was stroking his hair and cheek with pure affection, there was sadness in his eyes too but not the pity that Yuzuru had seen on some other faces after the free. Javier still believed in him and he just felt sad for him going through all this and not being properly rewarded. He knew all that, he was told these things.

Before he could stop himself he pushed up a bit and pressed his lips to Javiers in a sweet kiss. He felt the warm palm of his settle on the back of his neck, like so many times before and a small shiver ran down his spine, shifting closer without breaking their kiss. A few seconds later he was sitting on Javiers lap, their soft kiss turned more passionate, his own fingers buried in brown locks, slightly pulling at them for more. It wasn’t the first time they did these things, kissing, making out or going further but since they have been together they didn’t go all the way. Javier respected, Yuzurus need for taking this slowly. Before it was all about recovery than training for Worlds, the competition but tomorrow all he had to care for was the Gala and some interviews. None of those things were as important than taking another step further in their relationship. 

Yuzuru pulled back, slightly panting, his finger running along the strong jaw of Javier. He swallowed all his nerves. “Please make love to me.” He asked in a soft voice, biting down on his red and swollen lips from all their kissing.

Javier looked at him with slight surprise but his hand gripped his hips tighter. “Are you sure?” Yuzuru nodded and leaned in to peck his lips.

“Yes, I am sure.” The next moment their positions got switched, a new intense fire burning in Javiers eyes, as he pressed Yuzuru into the sheets. Yuzurus whole body went hot from that single look alone, legs wrapped around Javiers waist to pull him closer. Their lips locked again in an intense kiss and Yuzuru completely forgot about everything else.


	32. #32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzurus groaned at the annoying sound disturbing his peaceful sleep and tried to make the sound go away by swatting in some kind of direction where it came from._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV - Delayed update as I was traveling and forgot... Plus I had no stable Internet. If any other issues are in place I apologise but this has been done from mobile. Thank you! 💜

Yuzurus groaned at the annoying sound disturbing his peaceful sleep and tried to make the sound go away by swatting in some kind of direction where it came from. The sound stopped and he sighed, burying his face further into the pillow. The peace lasted a few seconds only, lips pressing small kisses to his nape, warm hands sneaking around his waist. 

“It was your alarm… you have to get up for Gala practice.” Javiers voice was deeper and husky, clearly having been woken by the alarm too and Yuzuru found it even harder to open his eyes. He just wanted to feel those lips and hands all over his body again. A shiver ran along his spine, memories of the night before flashing behind his closed lids, the pleasure. In that moment he also felt the slight soreness in his lower body and limbs from a certain position. Yuzuru wasn’t helped himself with those images but he also couldn’t stop them. Javier pressed further against his naked back and he felt something else press against the curve of his ass too. 

“Habi…” Yuzuru breathed out, more needy than he intended it to be. A warm chuckle close to his ear, followed by a hand sliding between his legs. Yuzuru should feel embarrassed how much he craved Javier for the past week but when Javier touched him at the right spots he didn’t care, allowed himself to succumb to the pleasure. 

—-

Yuzuru finally opened his eyes, rolling on his back, ignoring the sticky feeling. Javier was grinning down at him, expression relaxed and still a bit blissed out. Pushing himself up enough he pressed a kiss to his lips. “Good morning…” He whispered, causing the older to laugh at that.

“Oh, it was a really good morning.” His hand runs along the little mess on Yuzurus stomach making him frown. 

“Okay… shower. We need or I need one.” He corrected and before he even finished the sentence Javier was standing and pulling him up from the bed. They stumbled and giggled like teenagers on the way to the bathroom, taking a quick shower because Yuzuru couldn’t allow himself to be any later than he already was due to their morning activities. 

—-

Yuzuru only grins a bit sheepish at his coaches and mom when he is a bit late for their meeting before the media madness, gala practice, more media and finally the gala to finish the day off. He has a feeling even after the gala he will require to give an interview or two but for now he ignores that in favour or speaking some apologies for his late arrival. Brian shakes his head, Tracy and his mom give him an all knowing smile which makes him blush bright red. Ghislain only claps a hand on his shoulder and guides him towards the waiting car. Nobody speaks the obvious glow to his cheeks, he is not a teenager anymore after all.

—-

The interviews before the gala practice are less bad as Yuzuru expected or he is just too happy in general. Then hours of fun happens and he can just troll around with all his friends, make sure some of them who didn’t have such a good competition get some extra teasing. Shoma seems to be in a better mood than the day before and that makes Yuzuru a bit happy. He has a good run-through for Haru Yo Koi, halfheartedly follows any group choreo but his mind is somewhere else. Back in a hotel room, hiding under soft sheets, feeling even softer lips on his skin. It takes him a few seconds to realize Keiji is calling his name to ask a question. Yuzuru blushes out of embarrassment, bringing himself back to reality. 

Only one interview awaits him after and he is thankful, though his mother warns him that after the gala he will have at least three to do. Yuzuru just smiles, toweling his neck dry with his yellow towel.

—-

Yuzuru enjoyed his time, had fun and performed his heart out with Haru Yo Koi. His fans screams were loud and he swore he saw a few teary faces too. It made him feel good even if he is not going to be able to give an encore, which is reserved for the first place. With a small bitter smile he slipped backstage until the finale. Shoma and Keiji were in a heated discussion about a game, then decided to torture the mascot. Poor guy was someone Shoma knew and the little shit just liked torturing his friends. At least it was good to see him smile more openly, honest; less and less of the fake one he puts on for the cameras. In a split second the gala was over and Yuzuru waved for the last time. Once in the shadows he let himself breathe. Thoughts going back to the man who would be waiting for him in the hotel room again and even if last interviews felt less tiresome. 

—-

As expected given the event ended a few hours ago, Javier was back in the hotel room already. What Yuzuru did not expect was to see a warm meal waiting for him and he could see right away that it was not room service or some restaurant take out. He titled his head to the side, his heart skipping a beat at the sunny smile he got from Javier.

“I asked for a favour or two and managed to cook for us tonight. Come...sit.” Javier led him to the small table he improvised from the furniture in the room, sat him down and placed a napkin over his lap. “I made your favourite.” Yuzuru looked at the table and his plate and then up at Javier.

“But...how did you manage...You were watching the gala right?” Javier sat down and poured some water for both of them. 

“I did watch it, I was there, your mom helped me organize a car to take me to the hotel right away and I got to work the second I got into the kitchen. She kept updating me about your whereabouts. So I knew when to bring things up and make sure it’s warm...which reminds me. Please dig in before it gets cold.” Yuzuru bit down on his lower lip, trying not to get emotional over this because he definitely shed enough tears the last few days but his heart was full with love. Meeting Javier in person and taking the leap with him, truly was one of the best things he had ever done in his life. With a small nod he reached for his chopsticks and started to eat.

Yuzuru was hungrier than he thought or maybe Javiers cooking is much easier to eat even for him who mostly eats just to gain energy for skating. In a short time he finishes his portion and leans back in the chair, feeling satisfied. He couldn’t help but compliment Javier several times because he is a really good cook. When they are both finished and cleared the table, putting the empty plates in front of the room, they stop by the window to enjoy the view. Yuzuru is holding a warm cup of tea just letting the past days wash over him. Javier wraps his arms around his waist from behind and presses a kiss to his shoulder and yet again all the noise is gone. Yuzuru only thinks of the here and now, the feeling of those arms around his frame, warm and secure; the smell of green tea and the cologne of Javier. 

Yuzuru feels at peace and he can’t help but hope for more of such days to come in the future. Javier had grown to be such an essential part of his life by now but especially after this competition that he can’t imagine a future without him. Though he keeps these thoughts to himself for now, it is still too soon. Instead he places the cup down, turns around to wrap his arms around Javier. He sees the light of the lit up city and the whole universe shining in his eyes and leans in to kiss him. 


	33. #33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier feels a bit better as he boards the plane to Toronto._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Javier feels a bit better as he boards the plane to Toronto. Japan was amazing and he did manage to film some kind of a vlog he intends to edit on the flight home. He still feels better because he knows once they are back in Canada he doesn't have to keep a calculated distance to Yuzuru, they won't need to hide the same way as the do here. He was trying to hold those feelings back, especially since that was the last thing Yuzuru needed on top of everything else. 

As he watches Yuzuru to settle into his seat with his headphones and Pooh, he decides not to mention it at all. It was clear to him back when he took the leap for a relationship that while they may behave freely in Canada or even in Spain, they are not going to be able to do that in Japan. Possibly even after Yuzuru has retired. 

"Habi… Habi…" He comes back to reality, the hand on his arm tightening slightly and worry appears on his beautiful face. 

"Oh, sorry. I was just lost in thought. I realized I have a few things to do for a sponsorship." Javier laughs a bit, it's not exactly a lie but also not truly the truth either. He doesn't want to see that expression on Yuzurus face. Japan is soon in the past at least for him. For the other the training will be more vigorous and tiring. 

"Are you going to work during flight?" Yuzuru sits down and buckles in his seatbelt, Javier does the same. 

"At least for the first hour or two. I have to prepare some emails and also have the vlog to edit. Next week I also have that event I told you about. I think they want to know the list of ingredients. I still haven't decided what I want to cook which is not good." Yuzuru is nodded and squeezes his hand quickly as nobody around them is paying attention. 

"I have essay to write. I think will work too and maybe nap after." Javier nods and smiles at him the flight attendants voice cutting off their conversation to announce their departure.

Javier ends up working for half the duration of the flight, Yuzuru curled up in his seat and peacefully napping. He finished most of his essay and then settled in for a bit of sleep. That was an hour ago. Javier forces himself to stop working on more things and just sleep too for a short time at least. 

\----

Javier slowly wakes up to the feeling of long and familiar fingers carding through his hair. He blinks his eyes open and it is still dark in the cabin. Yuzuru is leaning over the armrest and playing with his hair, even in the low light he can see the love in his eyes and it makes him lean into the touch for a minute or two. In the end he sits up, takes Yuzurus hand and places a kiss to his knuckles. He can see a smile on his lips, the soft one he reserves for him only and it makes his heart skip a beat. 

"How long?" He asks and Yuzuru pulls back. 

"We land in less than two hour. Light will be turned on soon." Javier rubs the remaining sleep from his eyes and straightens his seat. 

"Thank you for waking me." He says and Yuzuru nods reaching for the book he took with him too. 

"Can't let Habi miss the coffee even though you complain about the taste." Javier laughs, muffling it by his hand as others are still asleep. 

"It may not be the best but it does it's job until I can get a proper one." Yuzuru is just shaking his head at him but with an amused smile on his lips. 

\----

Javier helps Yuzuru get his bags from the belt, wondering how many he actually had because it's never ending in his opinion. When they are done he has loaded two of those carriers and Yuzuru is dragging another one behind him. 

"How do you have so much stuff? I don't remember us having this much on the way to Japan…" He grumples a bit, rubbing his left hip, thinking he may have pulled a muscle. Absentmindedly he thinks he may need to hit the gym again because he is not as fit as he used to be. 

"We take more back. Mom buys few items we can't get in Canada." Javier forms a small 'o' with his lips, so he didn't imagine that there were more bags now. Javier helps them load everything in a car they ordered. 

"We take Habi home, then I go help mom. I will come over later?" Yuzuru asks as they sit in the back. 

"Sure but if you are too tired you don't have to come over. You need your rest too." Yuzuru shakes his head quickly and squeezes his hand. 

"I want to stay with you." Javier raises his hand and kisses his knuckles again. 

"Okay. I will go shopping and make something nice. Do you want anything specific?" 

"I love everything you cook." Javier grins, feeling proud already having an idea. They arrive at his building faster than he likes it but he gets out, takes his bags and squeezes Yuzurus hand not really aiming for more. Yuzuru seems to be still in the more careful mindset he had in Japan. 

\----

Javier drags his suitcase inside the apartment and puts it by the door, his eyes scanning the place for a certain ball of fur. She is where he expects her to be, curled in the armchair that gets the most sun by the windows. 

"Princessa!" He calls and she opens her eyes. She looks at him for a moment then promptly turns her back to him. "Oh...I see it's the cold shoulder treatment. You will cave and soon. I give you 24 hours at best. Earlier as Yuzuru is coming over and I will buy your favourite tuna." Her ears move and be knows she is listening, tail moving left and right. 

With a smirk he quickly unpacks and starts a load of laundry, checks the content of his fridge to make sure his grocery list is accurate and leaves the apartment. Javier likes shopping for food items especially in his favourite supermarket. He stops to chat with a few people working there, answers questions about his unusual absence and gets nice recommendations for fresh ingredients. He ends up buying more food than he planned but that way he won't need to go shopping for a few extra days. 

Javier puts everything in the fridge and cupboards, leaving the items out that he needs. Since he has time before Yuzuru arrives he decides to record his cooking for a future video. He is just putting finishing touches to a plate he prepared for the last shot when the front door opens. Yuzuru steps inside and as he is about to greet him he sees the equipment running, clamping his mouth shut. He waits until Javier stops all the cameras. 

"Perfect timing. I just finished and the food is ready too. I hope you are hungry." Yuzuru nods, steps up to him and kisses his lips for the first time since they left the hotel room in Japan. Javier wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer. 

"Tadaima." Yuzuru whispers when they part and Javier smiles. 

"Okaeri nasai."


	34. #34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _After Saitama, slowly thing got back to normal or as normal as an angry, upset and fuming Yuzuru could be.___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

After Saitama, slowly thing got back to normal or as normal as an angry, upset and fuming Yuzuru could be. While he tried to hide it from Javier right after the competition it was clear the judging made him question a lot of things. A lot of evenings he was leaning over his Notebooks about his skating making all kinds of new notes. After two weeks of ignoring the elephant in the room he finally admitted the truth to Javier.

"Don't know if if my skating is enough. I used to aim for GOE and I knew if I do well on that, judges give me scores to win. I make sure I check all points for a good GOE but it is not enough. I need my quads back too, new ones... I..." Yuzuru swallowed hard. " I am not sure I can beat Nathan like this. Judges seem to do their best to make sure I don't. "

Javier couldn't believe what he was hearing. The most confident skater he had seen on Ice with complete skills is wondering if he is good enough to continue with the sport, if his methods are enough. He was speechless for a few minutes unsure of what to say but as Yuzuru looked at his notebook maybe he did not need to say too much. 

"What about this?" Yuzuru looked up at him. "Give yourself another season. Do as you did before and see if that works. Changing things up now could be difficult and I feel your coaches will say the same. I don't know if you spoke to them, you should and I am not on your Team to know more than I see as a fan of the sport and especially your skating. But I know that you have all the skills, your skating is the most beautiful and complete in the field. The judging is obviously corrupt and they won't make it easy for you but I do not think that the solution is to compromise with your own personal goals just to please them. Leave that to the other skaters who do the bare minimum sometimes. " Javier took Yuzuru hand and squeezed it. " Talk to your trainers and coaches about this okay? I just want to you know that I don't think that is the right approach and you will see it too. "

Yuzuru nodded and gave him a small smile. Javier didn't know if his words really went through him but he could only hope. 

\----

Their happy life continued for a few more weeks then it was destroyed by upcoming schedules. For the first time since they have known each other, they had a huge fight about it.

\----

Javier stayed home to record a few videos in advance and work out some ideas for the coming weeks so he didn't go to watch Yuzuru practice. It has become his schedule for the past three days and if he wanted to make it work to go with Yuzuru to Japan while he attends his ice show, he will have to work so much more. Yuzuru decided to join the Fantasy on Ice tour just like the previous years but that meant him being in Japan for over a month. He would also stay after the shows for additional two weeks to work on some sponsorship projects and maybe even take a week of break to spend it with family. Their calculations showed at least 6 weeks in Japan and he had asked Javier if he wants to join him for those weeks. 

Javier really liked the idea of it as he enjoyed his time in Japan and maybe now he would have a bit more time seeing the country as the schedule over there would be less full than it was for Worlds. As he kept looking at his plan for the next two weeks and the Emails he had ignored so far he started to think it was an impossible task. He buried his face in his hands just as the door to his apartment opened. In a second he heard some hushed Japanese in the tone that meant Effie went over to greet Yuzuru. Javier looked up, his expression turning sad as he watched the two. He also would need to find someone for Effie for 6 weeks. He was never gone for that long, she was getting old now and disliked him being gone for too long. Javier sighed. 

Yuzuru looked up at the sound and pursed his lips, leaving Effie to approach Javier at the counter and press a kiss to his temple. "What is wrong?" He asked, perceptive as ever. 

"I don't think I can go with you to Japan." Javier blurted out without much sweet talk. 

"What?" Yuzuru took a step back from him. 

"6 weeks is too long… I have deadlines that fall in the first week I won't be able to film in advance as it is a sponsor event. Effie dislikes me being gone for too long, just look at her being all over you too and you were only gone a few hours. I just… I don't think it's something I can do now."

"But the other day it was okay when you agreed… I have told Team, we booked all. I wanted to tell you when I got home." Javier closed his eyes, face twisting. "Just say you don't wanna come… I know in Japan we can't be open and things are secret. I know you hated during Worlds. I thought you understand."

Javier blinked his eyes open suddenly taken aback by those words. "What? That is not…" 

"So you say you didn't feel closed into hotel room with me? Hated how you couldn't hold hand or kiss? I saw it Habi. I am not blind and I know 6 weeks is lot but I thought you want. I thought you want to spend time with me." 

"Of course I want to be with you. Yes, it wasn't easy. You know I am not used to watch out for those things. This is not about that though, I have my work too and Effie to look out for too. I have to consider everything carefully and yes it was stupid of me to confirm and now say I can't go. It is not that I can't go at all just not for so long." Yuzuru didn't seem to be listening though, his face showed a frown and soon his lips turned into a thin line as well. He was holding himself back. "Say something please…" 

"I think I go home for today." That was certainly not what Javier expected to hear. 

"Wait. There is no need for that. Let's talk this through…" He reached towards Yuzuru but the younger took several steps backwards to create distance between them. 

"I think we both need time to think. I feel I will say things I don't mean if I speak now. I don't want to hurt Habi because you are always nice. I… I need to think so I go home." Javier tried to say something but Yuzuru raised his hand to silence him. "Tomorrow… Maybe. I just… Can't do this now."

Yuzuru didn't wait for any reply he turned around, gave Effie a headpat, took the handle of his bag and left. Javier watched as the door closed behind him wondering what just happened. They never fought, they never needed space to think and hold back emotions. 

He doesn't know how long he sat there watching the closed door but he knew he can't let Yuzuru go to bed being mad at him. That is not the kind of relationship he wants to have. He made sure to give Effie her dinner and grabbed his car keys. He had to see Yuzuru and clear this up. 


	35. #35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru was upset at Javier but also generally everything and he decided to step away from the situation before it would turn out to be so much worse than should be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

Yuzuru was upset at Javier but also generally everything and he decided to step away from the situation before it would turn out to be so much worse than should be. He didn’t want to take public transport so he took a taxi back home, surprising his mother by his presence but he just shook his head at her questions. He didn’t want to answer any of them. Instead he went to his room and curled up on his bed. 

If he really looked at the situation objectively he knew he was asking for a lot from Javier. While he may have a bit of a flexible working environment he still put a lot of work in for his channel. Being a Youtuber may seem easy but it requires a lot of dedication and time. Javier always put those things into his content. 

After a few minutes he rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling. He knew it was absurd to be upset about Javier needing to cut his stay in Japan short. 6 weeks were a really long time after all and he had seen his schedule, how much he was recording the past days to have enough content out without losing revenue. After all Javier was living from Youtube, he wasn’t posting videos or actually interesting ones he is not going to get paid. Yuzuru didn’t want that to happen, he also got the issue with Effie. After their return she has been a bit vary and searched for them in the apartment more often just to make sure they are there. She wasn’t a young kitten anymore, the changes were bringing her off balance and long weeks without Javier or at this point Yuzuru would be difficult.

Yuzuru pushed himself up from his bed and groaned. This wasn’t right, he shouldn’t have snapped at Javier and he needs to get back to him as soon as possible. He doesn’t get to leave his room because the moment he opens the door, Javier is standing there with his hand raised ready to knock on the door. Yuzuru gasps in surprise and Javiers eyes widen also taken aback by the door opening. 

“Habi…” He whispers and the other drops his hand, biting down on his lower lip.

“Yuzuru...please… I know you must be upset but can we talk about this?” Yuzuru doesn’t say anything but just throws himself at Javier, wrapping his arms around his neck. It takes several seconds before he feels those strong arms around his body, pulling him closer.

\----

Yuzuru pulled away after a few minutes and looked at Javier, he looked sad, worried and confused but sad was one look he didn’t like to see on him. “Come...we talk.” He offered a small smile and a touch to his cheek, hoping it would ease his worry. Just then his mother appeared in the corridor with tray, tea and cookies. Yuzuru thanked her taking it from her and ushering Javier inside his room. He placed the tray on his desk and handed Javier one warm cup, making him sit on the bed. Yuzuru followed, sitting next to him.

“I am sorry. I rushed out, said things… I was unfair.” He started instead of waiting for Javier to apologize again. Javier looked up from his cup, staring at him. “I ask a lot. I know you have work, it is important to you and Effie is there too. I know you try hard to make it work but I also see how difficult it is. I am not fair to ask so much of your time because I have to be in Japan. I made hurried choice to book things. I am sorry… Sorry I ran and shouted. I also know that you are trying your best in Japan. It is not a country that understands yet and I have...I am sorry if you feel unhappy in Japan where you can’t hold my hand or kiss me. ” He watched as Javier took both their cups and placed it on the desk again, then he knelt in front of him and held his hands in his lap.

“No, that is not. I mean yes, it was difficult but I would never try to cause you harm. I know how hard it is over there when it comes to this and with your popularity. I would hide for weeks in hotel rooms with you if it just means I can be with you. And I am sorry too about our plans Yuzu. I thought I could make it work but the past two days the things piled up and I will still do my best to make it work for at least half the time. There is nothing that can stop me from going to Sendai and watching you perform there.” Yuzuru couldn’t help but smile at that. “I shouldn’t have dumped it on you when you arrived either, I was feeling lost but the last thing I want to do is to hurt you. I want to go to Japan with you and see your city, meet your family and just enjoy it in a different way than Saitama.” Yuzuru bit down on his lower lip. “I am really sorry. We will sit down together and make a solid plan, okay? I will be more open about the things I have to do from here on.” Yuzuru nodded, then pulled his hand away so he could cup Javiers cheeks.

“Even if you can’t come to Japan, I am going to love you and come back.” Javier smiled at that. “We will look and make schedule. I am good at schedules.” Yuzuru grinned and leaned in to kiss Javier softly on the lips. “We good now?” He asked in small voice which earned him a more passionate kiss from Javier.

“More than good.” Yuzuru giggled when he felt himself being pushed backwards, Javier moving on top of him.

“Stop. Mom in other room.” He fake scolded but kissed Javier one last time anyway before they just laid next to each other, holding hands. 

\----

Yuzuru ended up leaving to Japan with his mother only, Javier join them a few days before the Sendai show and stay one week extra after the tour is over. That would be the most he could do without leaving Effie alone or with someone she is not comfortable with. Yuzuru understood and he was thankful for all the time Javier was ready to spend in Japan, while he knows most days Yuzuru is going to be busy with media coverage. He spent his last night in Canada at Javiers place so they could still spend some time together. Yuzuru also was loving and getting used to waking up to Javiers body heat pressed to his back. He always felt so safe and secure in those moments, he never wanted to leave the bed. 

Until he had met Javier he never understood this feeling or experiences it, to feel secure in someone else's arms or presence other than his family. Which made his departure even more difficult. He knew they would see each other soon but that didn’t make the feeling go away that easily. Yuzuru shifted so he could turn around slowly, without waking Javier up. He just wanted to gaze at his face in the low light of the room. He would miss this for a bit but then they can share it again when he is home in Sendai. Javier would visit his beloved city for the first time too, meet the rest of his family and be introduced as the one he loves so much. He had told Saya about him already, how important Javier is for him and his father knows too. They are all very excited to meet Javier and welcome him. Yuzuru felt himself get a bit emotional so he slipped out from the embrace, not before pressing a soft kiss to Javiers cheeks. 

Today he would prepare breakfast himself and surprise Javier with it. He just hoped he is not going to burn his kitchen down in his attempts.


	36. #36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru was familiar enough with Javiers kitchen by now to know where everything was, he had learned how to make coffee for his boyfriend too which was a story of his own, involving a lot of laughter and burned, bitter coffee._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N. Yuzuru POV

Yuzuru was familiar enough with Javiers kitchen by now to know where everything was, he had learned how to make coffee for his boyfriend too which was a story of his own, involving a lot of laughter and burned, bitter coffee. But now he moved with practices ease, preparing the machine, making sure it makes enough coffee for at least two mugs as Javier never just drinks one. For himself he took the green tea they have bought together and where Yuzuru showed him the things he likes the most and now whenever they ran out of it, Javier just knew what to buy during his grocery trips. 

Yuzuru did burn the first batch of toast, not realizing the setting was too high for the thin sliced bread but he quickly aired out, tossed the burned bread and went on to make new ones. Those were all golden and nice and he put butter and avocado on top of it, just like Javier liked it. For a moment he stood there in the kitchen and smiled because he really knew by heart now what kind of breakfast Javier preferred, from coffee to toast to it’s topping. Everything. And then he looked around the apartment only to see some scattered books of his by the coffee table, an open notebook he forgot about in the evening. He had his favourite mug here too and he knew the bathroom was filled with his personal items as well. The whole place slowly felt like theirs and not just Javiers.

In the past it would have made him feel panic that something was happening that he had no control over but now he just felt happiness and warmth in his chest. With Javier everything moved at it’s own pace but it was never something that he did not want. It came naturally just like how their relationship moved from strangers, to friends to lovers. Yuzuru shook his head to get back to the task at hand and to make some scrambled eggs he would put on top of his own toast, dropping some cherry tomatoes on his plate along with it. 

Yuzuru arranged everything on a tray, making sure it looked nice too, filled a cup with coffee, a bit of milk and no sugar and tiptoed his way back to the bedroom. As expected Javier was still fast asleep which on any other day would be him too but he had planned this and luckily his body cooperated too to wake up on time. He carefully put the tray on the mattress and leaned over to press soft kisses along Javiers face, his favourite way of waking him up. Javiers expression slowly shifted and he blinked his eyes open, trying to adjust to the light in the room. 

“Ohayo...I made breakfast.” Yuzuru whispered pressing a kiss to his nose making Javier smile at that.

“You didn’t burn down my kitchen?” He rolled on his back, stretching a little bit, then sat up looking at the tray. 

“Only the first toast...but it wasn’t so bad.” Javier laughed at that, reaching for the coffee first taking a sip. The soft happy sound he let out was a good indication to Yuzuru that he did it right. He settled back against the headboard, taking his plate in his lap. 

“Thank you.” Javier leaned over before he picked up his toast and pressed a kiss to his cheeks. 

While they ate they spoke about the schedule again, making sure they were on the same page but otherwise just enjoyed the time together. When they finished Yuzuru took a quick shower, then made sure all his bags were packed, he had all items he needed waiting for Javier to finish in the bathroom. Yuzuru messaged his mom and she confirmed the car would arrive on time to pick him up to go to the airport together. 

Yuzuru had the bags waiting by the door while he cuddled with Effie for a little bit when Javier came dressed as well. “I am going to miss this sight, I will be honest.” He said and Yuzuru smiled albeit a bit sad too. “Me too.”

Standing up he approached Javier and wrapped his arms around his neck. “We going to see each other soon though and I show you Sendai.” Javier gave him an eskimo kiss and hummed. Yuzuru tightened his hold a bit around him, not moving or speaking until the doorbell rang.

They agreed that Javier doesn’t go to the airport because there they can’t say properly goodbye to each other. By the door they kissed and Yuzuru grabbed the handle of his bags. “See you soon.” Javier nodded, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I love you.” He whispered to him, so did Yuzuru, then he was off trying not to look back or he may shed a tear or two. Goodbyes were never something he did well and with Javier it was even harder now.

\----

As expected Yuzuru had a busy time the second he landed in Japan but even during those moments and hectic schedule, he made sure to at least message Javier to give him some update about his day. It helped him with the sudden loneliness he felt for not having his boyfriend around. It was a new feeling as well he wasn’t really used to but he also knew that it was necessary for the growth of a relationship. The time passed quickly though and before he really knew it was the day Javier would arrive. He himself arrived in Sendai late at night and barely managed to say a few words to his father before he fell asleep too tired for any long conversations. When he woke up he had found a message on his phone from Javier to inform him that he is on his train to Sendai. Instantly all exhaustion left him and he jumped out of his bed to get ready. A driver would pick him up from there and get him to his family home.

Feeling all excited he joined his parents in the kitchen and as they waited, ate a little bit of breakfast but mostly sipped on his tea. He felt too nervous and excited to really get the food down. His mom smiled at him knowingly and his father teased him about it. The second the doorbell rang he sprung to his feet and ran to the door earning some scolding from his mom but he didn’t hear her at all. As expected Javier was at the door looking exhausted from the long flight but the smile on his face was the same one he always had when he looked at Yuzuru. 

“You are here.” Yuzuru whispered throwing himself in his boyfriends arms, uncaring of any complains about probably not smelling so good after a long flight. 

“Yuzu… be a good host and let the boy in first. He must be exhausted.” He heard his father say from behind and he withdrew from Javier, blush appearing on his cheeks. “Come in…” He translated and stepped aside for Javier to really get into the house, taking over the handling of his bags so he could take his shoes off and greet his parents.

It was a bit weird to see his boyfriend introduce himself to his father in heavily accepted Japanese only to realize that his father spoke an even better English than Yuzuru or Yumi. Yuzuru dragged Javier luggage into his room. Then without accepting a no for an answer ushered Javier to take a shower, change into some clothes and join in the kitchen for a light meal and coffee. 

Yuzuru was about to go to the kitchen to leave Javier to his tasks when the other grabbed his hand and pulled him close. The kiss that followed was anything but chaste and it left him rather breathless. “Hi...I missed you.” Javier said against his lips. Yuzuru smiled and brushed his fingers along the others cheek.

“I missed you too….a lot.” The two looked at each other for a bit longer and then stepped apart, they would have time to be together later on.


	37. #37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier felt extremely exhausted after his long travel to Sendai but when he saw Yuzuru all of it has vanished or at least the presence of his boyfriend had given him enough energy for a few more hours._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV - Friday update may be at a later times than usual, so apologies in advance, I am traveling and idk how I will have time to post on the go but shall do my best. thank you, it may apply for next Monday as well.

Javier felt extremely exhausted after his long travel to Sendai but when he saw Yuzuru all of it has vanished or at least the presence of his boyfriend had given him enough energy for a few more hours. Meeting his father was a bit nerve wracking but he was a very kind and smart man as it turned out later during their conversations. Yuzuru had also no responsibilities for the day which meant they could take their time to get to know each other in that small circle. Even Yuzurus sister joined them a bit later after lunch time to at least greet Javier. The whole Hanyu family was welcoming and nice to him and all his worries he may have had were gone in an instant. But as the afternoon approached Javier felt himself getting more tired and occasionally his eyes would close. Yuzuru ended up excusing them from the conversation and took Javier to his room. 

“I am sorry… I couldn’t sleep as much on the flight as I thought I could.” He apologized but Yuzuru didn’t want to hear any of it, instead he helped him out of his clothes to be more comfortable and laid down with him on his bed. It wasn’t as big of a bed as Javiers but they usually slept close so it was perfect for them. 

“You had a long trip. It is fine. We take a nap and then we go out eat in favourite restaurant for dinner.” Javier already had his eyes closed and could only hum in reply. “Sleep now, I set alarm on phone.” Forcing his eyes open for a bit longer he looked at Yuzuru.

“You stay here?” He asked and felt a soft kiss pressed on his nose. “Yes, I take nap with you.” With those words, Javier fell asleep.

\----

A few hours later they woke up to the sound of Yuzurus alarm and while he still felt tired it was much better than before his nap. The two cuddled and traded a few kisses after waking up, dragging out the idea of getting out of bed but they apparently had reservations and couldn’t be late. Javier worried for a split second if it is a good idea to go out and be seen with the family but the place was a private one, the owner a good friend of the family giving them a private room to enjoy their meal; Javier relaxed at hearing that.

The restaurant was just as Yuzuru described it, the owner greeted them personally and led them to a secluded area where they could relax without fearing someone would spot them. The whole Hanyu family was present and the evening was pleasant, filled with a lot of laughter and teasing. The family really welcomed him as one of their own and it made Javier really happy. He was worried but obviously for no reason. He had known Yumi for a long time now and if he just took that as the base he had no need to worry. The food was amazing as well and Javier would have preferred to be rolled out of the restaurant than actually walk back to the Hanyu house. Yuzuru only shook his head at him and dragged him along the small streets, babbling a mile and a minute about the upcoming show and how the next few days he will have to join the practices. Even though he would be busy he made sure Javier had access just like his mother and the two could come and watch both the practices and the show itself. 

It was obvious how excited Yuzuru was to perform in Sendai again and it made Javier really happy too. He was looking forward to it. Javier had only seen the recorded show on a few occasions and it always amazed him, he also knew that Yuzuru would be working on new programs as well and he was excited to see. He refrained himself from watching anything prior, let himself be completely surprised.

“I am looking forward to your performances the most.” Yuzuru rolled his eyes at that but even in the dim street lights Javier could see his cheeks gaining a bit of color at that.

“I hope you will like them.”

“Them?” Javier frowned a bit at the therm.

“Yes, I have two new performances.” Yuzuru grinned, looking all proud and Javier looked even more surprised than before. That could make things even more interesting. “You will see in practice tomorrow.” Javier nodded, his fingers itching to actually open his twitter for the first time in weeks but decided against it. He didn’t want to ruin it all for himself now.

When they return to the house everyone took turns in the bathroom, preparing for bed, Javier was the first as the guest of the house so by the time Yuzuru would finish he was already in bed, fighting a new onslaught of tiredness. He somehow managed to stay awake until Yuzuru returned to the room, toweling his hair dry. He looked relaxed and happy, making Javier smile as he watched him shuffle around the room. When he finally had everything in place he joined Javier under the covers and cuddled up against his chest. Javier wrapped his arms around him, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I have really missed this… sleeping without you in my arms is not the same anymore.” He said and felt a soft kiss being pressed to his collarbone.

“Me too. I like to sleep with Habi.” Javier bit down on his lower lip for a second before he asked what the two of them have been avoiding but gradually moving towards.

“Would you like to move in with me?” The silence that followed his question made him feel worried. “I mean...maybe not in the near future, you know just maybe one day. When you think you want… we have time and there is a lot to take in account.” Javier quickly stopped talking because he started to sound rather ridiculous. Yuzuru shifted to put some distance between them but only enough to look at him. His eyes were shining more than usual as if he was holding back some tears.

“You would want me to?” In that moment Javier realized that maybe Yuzuru was anxious about them living together because it was clearly something else than what they have had now. Spending a few nights a week at his place but still mostly relying on his mother especially due to his asthma was not how things would be if he permanently moved in.

“Of course I want that. I love having you at my place and so does Effie but I also know there would be a lot of change necessary especially because of your health. Probably not the best time to bring this up… my timing is sometimes not the best but you know we could consider at one point?” Javier couldn’t finish his sentence properly because Yuzuru kissed him essentially shutting him up. The answer to him was clear and he happily kissed him boyfriend back. Javier rolled on his back to be more comfortable as they kissed, and so could Yuzuru also move on top of him, legs easily swinging over his hips to straddle him. 

The kiss turned anything but innocent in a couple of seconds and Javier pulled back to look at Yuzuru. They weren’t alone in the house after all and he didn’t want to push things but the look Yuzuru gave him shut those questions up. “We can’t be loud…” Yuzuru whispered before his hand moved between their bodies and Javier barely managed to bite back his groan, taken by surprise. His hand moved along Yuzurus spine, one resting on his nape to pull him back into a kiss, hoping that could muffle both their moans.


	38. #38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javier groaned at the noise coming from the nightstand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: uhm... Sorry.... I forgot to update... GPF happened and yeah... So... Belated but here we go.

Javier groaned at the noise coming from the nightstand, Yuzurus alarm pulling him from his peaceful slumber and when his personal source of heat wanted to move away, he actually let out out a whine. Yuzuru giggled and pressed a kiss to his brow. “We have to wake. Come on…” With a few more complaining sounds Javier pushed himself up on the bed, rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes. Yuzuru hopped out of bed like he was someone used to waking up early in the morning. 

“How are you not sleepy?” Yuzuru turned to him as he opened a window to air out the room and grinned.

“Well… I slept really good, thanks to my boyfriend.” He winked and Javier couldn’t help but blush a little bit, not used to this kind of teasing. “I will go wash up, if you want you stay in bed a few more minutes.” Javier nodded, not going to protest this kind of offer though once Yuzuru left the room he didn’t lay back down, knowing he would just end up falling asleep and feel worse. Instead he got out of bed, made up the sheets, took out some fresh clothes from his suitcase and finally let himself take in the room he was staying in. 

Yesterday he only had a quick look mostly to not hit a toe on some random corner but now he stood in front of a medium sized pin-wall. Pictures and cards were pinned to it, he even found a key-chain hanging from one of the pins, looking like a purple flower. He recognized Yuzuru in most of them from a very young age and from what he could guess were some friends and sister. Javier smiled at the images, seeing in them precious memories and maybe when they have some time he would ask about each and every one of them to know when and how they were taken. For now he just let his eyes wander across the board then the room again. Books were kind of cluttered on the small desk, some looked a bit older and worn. There seemed to be a lot of history in this room but also it shows that the boy who used to live here was a teenager. Not much proof was in the room of the more mature man Yuzuru had become since he moved to Canada. Javier could see a disconnect between the years and it reminded him of his own childhood room back at his parents in a similar setting.

Javier was gazing at a worn Pooh tissue case on one of the shelves when Yuzuru stepped inside the room again, stopping next to him. He didn’t need to look at him to know he was smiling, his voice was telling enough.

“My first Pooh. I actually had several over the years, worn out but a good companion. He was the very first one, so I keep him here.” Javier hummed, tapping the nose of the toy ever so gently then turned to Yuzuru to peck his lips. “Bathroom is free. Mom is also making breakfast, come to kitchen when you done.” Javier nodded grabbing his things to get ready for the day.

\----

Yuzuru left directly after breakfast as he had to do an interview before the practice at the arena but Yumi and Javier left a bit later, this way he could grab himself a second cup of coffee. Yuzurus father left for work even before they have woken up but he promised to be in the audience for both shows, Saya could only make the second show. The plan was clear and simple considering but Javier as usual was more worried about all the obligations Yuzuru had to do before and after each show. Yumi tried to reassure him that if necessary she would step in and force Yuzuru to rest instead of giving an interview to some kind of station.

\----

Javier felt a bit out of place backstage at Fantasy on Ice but Yumi was a good guide and put him at ease. They settled in down in the first row just when Yuzuru stormed out from backstage to step on the ice. He didn’t know what he should be expecting, he was still fairly clueless about the programs Yuzuru has chosen. All he really knew was that both songs are in collaboration with one of the artists and just on that thought the singer arrived on the small change and Yuzuru glided to him to greet him and have a quick chat. Javier could only guess what their discussion was about but after a few minutes both of them nodded, Yuzuru went back for his warm-up and the singer turned to his band to get ready for their own practice. Javier hasn’t seen a performance on live music in person, he had only seen it on TV, so a sudden wave of excitement made him fidget in his seat. 

He had to be patient for a few more minutes but then Yuzuru skating to center ice, the band got ready and after he gave his cue, the music started. Javier would be lying if he expected what he ended up watching, because he sure as hell didn’t think he would see a Phantom looking program given Yuzurus past with it. Even in practice he gave his all and while there were still tiny mistakes he made and for sure would go over them without the music on, he matched every single note like he always does. Yuzuru had this affinity with music where he could spot the right spots to land his jumps, making them more impressive. Each fingertip moved in sync with the music and he wondered how many times his boyfriend listened to this song to be so sure with his movements. Especially since he now recalled Yuzuru mentioning that his programs got finished the night before the first show and he already performed them barely half a day later. 

Javier sat there staring with his jaw probably somewhere on the floor by the end of the performance. Yumi reached over and pat his shoulder, shaking him out of his trance. “Wooow….” He ended up saying all so eloquently, making her chuckle by his side.

“His other program is something else, very different. He worked hard this show to be different.” Javier looked at her with a small frown but she just pointed at the ice again where Yuzuru was cooling down for a bit but still not the kind of movements that signaled the end of his practice. He grabbed his drink and went to the singer again, having a bit longer conversation now possibly going over the previous performance. Without needing to be told what was going on he could tell that Yuzuru would perform the other song as well and as expected a few more minutes later he took his starting pose for the piece. 

Javier went literally speechless as he watched, he wondered if he even remembered how to breathe. This performance was like the complete opposite of the Phantom one, more gentle and filled with longing, hope and still some kind of sadness. The lyrics were in English so he understood quite a bit of it but he wasn’t really listening to them at all. His eyes followed the black figure on the ice showing every bit of his heart in this performance. Javier understood why the big difference between the programs, they were like the two sides of Yuzuru. The ever confident one on ice while he was soft and gentle when he didn’t perform. Not only that but so many more emotions were portrayed and he didn’t realize he was crying until Yumi handed him a tissue.

“I am sorry… I…” She just shook her head, smiling in that understanding way of hers, squeezed his hand and got up to let him alone for a little bit. Javier doesn’t know how long he is sitting there, staring at the ice but it must have been long because the next time someone sat down by his side it was Yuzuru. Without bothering about anyone around them his boyfriend laced their fingers together in the dark arena and leaned his head on his shoulder. Javier dared to sneak a small kiss to his temple, squeezing his hand a bit tighter.


	39. #39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru was so busy between practice and the actual show that their only interaction was those few minutes sitting together_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: two quick updated I guess since I messed up the Friday one. Enjoy! Sidenote: some things have been modified to the truth we know. In this fic Yuzu could actually stay in his family home and did not have to go to a hotel.

Yuzuru was so busy between practice and the actual show that their only interaction was those few minutes sitting together, afterwards even Javier was ushered to have something to eat then it was time to find their actual seats and settle down. Javier ended up sitting between Yuzurus parents and it was still surreal how well they all got along, chatting until the lights were turned off and the show began.

\----

If Javier thought that the practice was already beautiful, seeing Yuzuru at the end of an amazing show in costume elevated the whole experience. Seeing Yuzuru in red and black since Cup of China was something else. He had hoped given the theme of the song and the color scheme he had been imagining since he saw it in practice but to see Yuzuru actually wearing the colors. If he could judge by the surprised gasps all around several people in the audience felt the same way. If it wasn’t for Yumi he may as well have been locked into an empty arena, he was so zoned out. They were one of the last ones to leave anyway, as they planned to go backstage to meet Yuzuru but still, Javier was frozen to stone. 

\----

Yuzuru was still wearing the shirt from the finale when they met him backstage, obviously not having had the time to change or take a shower yet. He greeted his family though with hugs and they had a quick chat. Nothing too long as he still had two interviews to do but would first go and change, maybe even find the two seconds to take a shower. 

“You go home with them? It will be long until I finish, maybe go dinner too. I will come home after.” Yuzuru told him with a sweet smile and Javier nodded.

“Okay but please do not push yourself too much. You have another show tomorrow.” Javier gently brushed his fingers along his cheek, discreet but still wanting to touch his boyfriend. Yuzuru nodded and then he was gone. 

Javier did end up going out with his parents for dinner getting to know them a bit more but they also asked more about Javier, genuinely interested in his job. It turned out to be a really nice evening and when they returned to the house it was much later than he thought. Javier was again the first to use the bath after a small discussion about how it wasn’t needed but they considered it impolite so he did go and got cleaned up. He settled into bed with his laptop, deciding to take the time for some editing; after all he did want to wait for Yuzuru. 

Yuzuru returned a few minutes before midnight and Javier couldn’t help but frown. The other only shrugged saying he was used to it, then hurried off to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. Javier shut down his laptop and laid down. 

“You were amazing today.” He said when Yuzuru returned to the room, folding away some clothes and packing up his bag for the following day. He could see a small frown on his boyfriends face now.

“Made some mistakes, wasn’t perfect.” He mumbled and Javier just smiled at that. He wouldn’t expect any other reply from his perfectionist. 

“You did well enough and I am pretty sure your parents can confirm that they had to help me pick up my jaw from the arena floor… twice today.” Yuzuru approached the bed and laid down next to Javier.

“Really?” There was a hint of mischief in his eyes and Javier smiled, nodding his head too.

“Yes. You were amazing in my book and...your costume really added to the whole program. If I wouldn’t have sat between your fans or parents I may have had some issues...down south.” Yuzuru bit down on his lower lip at that.

“Habi really liked the costume?” Javier sneaked his hand below the shirt Yuzuru wore to bed and pulled him closer.

“I loved it.” He whispered then leaned in to kiss Yuzuru for the first time since the morning and he felt the other melt against him, fingers twisting in his short hair.

\----

The second show was just as exciting and amazing to watch as the first one but if Javier had to admit, he was looking forward to Yuzurus performance the most, wanting to see his second program in full costume. In the morning he did watch the practice again and it was obvious how Yuzuru kept adjusting parts he wasn’t all too happy with but the state of the ice worried Javier a bit. Even in the low light he could see it wasn’t in a really good condition and given how many skaters stumbled on jumps or fell, they were struggling.

Yuzuru made a few tiny mistakes and his jumps were not perfect but it was a beautiful performance and his costume was stunning. Javier was yet again amazed by how different Yuzuru was on the ice compared to other skaters. He was in his own league and if someone did not see it, they were blind in his eyes. The show came to an end and all the skaters left the ice. Yuzuru spoke a few words which Javier did not quite understand but he knew they were kind, the tone spoke volumes for him. Then even he was gone behind the curtains and the last show in Sendai came to and end. Saya sat next to Yumi today as well and Javier may have felt a bit sorry for not really giving the people around much attention but he knew they understood his reasons well enough. 

Javier was not only Yuzurus boyfriend but before it all he was a fan of his skating, his skills and performances. He would not waste any chance to watch him create magic on ice and during these shows he had done exactly that. 

This time they have not went backstage but left the arena with the crowd. Yuzuru had even more interviews to do and they thought it would be better not to disturb. Javier knew that when the other returns home he can tell him how amazing he was and all the cheesy things that he had been thinking over the past two days and didn’t say yet. 

\----

Yuzuru returned even later that evening but Javier stayed awake for him, working on his videos and answering E-mails, checking in with family and Effie in a different timezone. The door opened slowly and he knew Yuzuru tried to sneak in but then he saw the bedlight still being on and he sighed. 

“You did not go sleep…” He whispered, closing the door behind him and approaching the bed to sit down.

“No, I wanted to wait for you. Your parents went to bed though and Saya left shortly after dinner.” Javier closed his laptop when Yuzuru leaned against his side, resting his forehead on his shoulder. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Tired?”

“Very…” Yuzuru whispered. “But happy too.” Javier hummed. “It is always nice to be home and perform. I hope we can in future.” Yuzuru pulled back to look at Javier. “Also you being here very special too. I am happy you have come.” Javier pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on this for anything. You were magical.” He could see a small blush adoring Yuzurus cheeks and he touched them, brushing the soft skin. This time it was Yuzuru who leaned in for a kiss and they kept it sweet. 

“We sleep now?” Yuzuru asked softly and Javier nodded. He watched the other changing into his sleepwear and lay down by his side again. They curled up together just like they have done the previous nights too. A few more kisses got exchanged but nothing passionate like the nights before. Javier fell asleep with Yuzurus head resting against his neck and shoulder, a smile on his lips.


	40. #40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Packing up and moving to the next city of the tour was bittersweet as it also meant saying goodbye to Yuzurus family for now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Packing up and moving to the next city of the tour was bittersweet as it also meant saying goodbye to Yuzurus family for now. Yumi would be joining them but Saya and his father can’t go. After the tour they would return to Sendai for an additional week, mostly resting. It was, his short visit though and Javier watched as Yuzuru moved around his room, packing everything nice in his bags. He tried to stay out of the way by sitting on the bed, his own bag ready for their trip in one corner. After all he had less to pack than his boyfriend.

They had an agreement for the coming weeks of the tour, Yuzuru making sure Javier got a room in the hotels on the same floor as him, making their stay with each other easier. Aside from his Team nobody really knew openly about their relationship but Javier wasn't delusional at this point. Some knew it but said nothing. He wondered if he should maybe get his own hotel and address some of the knowing looks he receives at practices but Yuzuru just brushed the idea off even before the trip happened. Now only two cities left on the show he just let it consume some of his thought but not of Yuzuru. 

The trips go well though, the shows are getting better in terms of group choreo. The team is getting used to each other on the ice and there are less cases of near collisions during group numbers. Most fans wouldn't see those things being overwhelmed but since Javier has been watching the practices as well he knows how much work they all put in to make it right during the show. 

Kobe becomes one of the most special tour cities for Javier but especially Yuzuru. Javier had watched Yuzuru practice the quad Lutz so many times, has seen him fall even more. Each time his fist tightened and he felt his nails dig into his palm. During the Finale though where everyone was showing off, Yuzuru built up speed and then he landed it. The most beautiful quad Lutz Javier has seen in a long time. It wasn't perfect he had to go deeper with the knee to land it, he knows Yuzuru will complain about it but given the past it was beautiful. The mental strength he required to conquer this jump again was something Javier could only admire and praise. 

He wished he could run up to Yuzuru and pick him up. Hug him tight against his chest and whisper praises in his ear but he couldn't do that in public. No. He had to hold himself together until after the show and when they returned to the privacy of their hotel room. He wouldn't do it backstage either and given how they would want more interviews from him due to him landing the jump, he just sent a quick message to his boyfriend to inform him about his return to the hotel. 

By the time he heard the sound of the door unlocking he had a small dinner, took a shower and finished editing a blog post about a restaurant he visited and the corresponding video too. He sent it off for approval as it contained sponsored content. Yuzuru looked like he was dead on his feet when he stopped in front of the bed. Javier put his laptop to the side and wrapped his arms around him from his half seated position. Yuzuru leaned against him heavily. 

"Congratulations on landing the Lutz today." 

"It could be better… Not perfect." Yuzuru mumbled and Javier chuckled, having expected those words. He hummed softly and rubbed his back, deciding it may be better to change the subject. 

"What do you say you take a warm shower, I will organise a light snack and I will give you a massage too before we sleep?" Yuzuru pulled back to look at Javier, cupping his cheeks and then pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. 

"Why you such a good boyfriend?" Yuzuru smiled softly and Javier did the same. 

"I have to because I have the most amazing boyfriend who only deserves the best in the whole wide world." Yuzuru blushed at that averting his gaze. Sometimes he did get shy about such compliments. 

"I go shower." He announced and pulled away to gather whatever he needs in the bathroom. 

Javier got him a light snack and made sure Yuzuru ate it too after his shower was finished and asked him to lay down on his stomach while Javier fetched the massage oil. They have done this a few times before but not regularly as Yuzuru got sport massages quite often after training. This was more for bonding and Javier didn't apply too much pressure in fear he may cause more damage. Nevertheless Yuzuru enjoyed it and this time he even fell asleep in the middle of it. Javier chuckled, cleaning his hands from the remaining oil and covered Yuzuru in their blanket. He cleared up a bit and then with the lights turned off settled into bed as well. 

\----

Before Javier could really grasp it, he was sitting in the audience enjoying the very last show of Fantasy on Ice. It felt like a dream to be able to see this show from the seats but everything backstage as well. Meeting Yuzurus family and some of his friends was special too. In a week time he would also board a plane back to Canada. He kind of misses his home though Japan had quickly become of his his favourite places. Everything he had experienced got cataloged away in his memory and some of it even in footages and pictures he wouldn't share with the world. Especially not the selfies he took with Yuzuru curled up against his chest in bed. 

He watches him perform his programs for the last times and is amazed just as much as he was in the beginning. Javier is in a sort of daze until Yumi touches his shoulder. They are one of the last ones in the arena. Javier apologises for not realising it was all over but she just smiles at him knowingly. 

This time around they do go backstage instead of leaving and the second Yuzuru spots Javier he runs towards him, still wearing his skates and throws his arms around him. With the added height Javier has to look a bit up at him but he doesn't mind. 

"Was it good? Enjoy last show? Enjoy tour?" He asks sounding hopeful and excited, adrenaline still running through his veins. 

"Of course. It was beautiful. You were beautiful." He whispers the last words in his ear, mindful of anyone walking by. Yuzuru beams at him and Javier feels his heart skip a beat or two. "Do you have more interviews to do or do you think we can go out and eat?" Yuzuru looks up at the ceiling for a moment, thinking. 

"No. Dinner is good. I just need shower and change. You wait with mom?" That moment Yumi steps up to them. 

"You two enjoy dinner together. I go back to hotel and pack. Tomorrow we have train back to Sendai." Yuzuru opens his mouth to question his mother but she shuts him up with a look. "Enjoy date." She adds, winking at Javier and now both of them are flushed red. She is gone before either of them find their voices. 

Yuzuru excuses himself to shower, change and pack up his bag. One of his Team members take it from him and leaves them on their own. It feels a bit weird to be alone with Yuzuru outside, without someone else accompanying them but it's also nice. As he looks to the side Yuzuru is smiling softly. In the darkness of the streets Javier takes his hand for a few seconds, allowing himself those few seconds of closeness in public. 


	41. #41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Eating out with Yuzuru was a whole new experience in Japan. They found a really private place where nobody really cared of who they were or who Yuzuru was._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Eating out with Yuzuru was a whole new experience in Japan. They found a really private place where nobody really cared of who they were or who Yuzuru was. It allowed them to enjoy conversations they may not have in public otherwise. The food was delicious and if their legs bumped together occasionally nobody watched or simply would blame it on the small space they had available. Javier ordered himself a beer which he haven’t drunk in a long while but after the tour he felt it was a good way to celebrate, especially since Yuzuru didn’t really drink alcohol. He knew about his skin allergy to surgical alcohol but it turned out he could drink some but rarely did regardless. 

They lingered for a bit longer after they finished their meal, enjoying the conversation until Javiers glass was empty. Then they decided to take a short walk back to the hotel, hoping that given the late night no media or fans would be camping out in front of it. They were lucky and could go in without anyone spotting them. Yuzuru excused himself for an hour into his own room to make sure all his items were packed, Javier took that time to pack his own things too. Once Yuzuru was finished he had come with all his belongings to Javiers room.

“Everything packed up?” Javier asked before hiding a yawn, it was getting really late. 

“Yes, we should take shower and sleep.” Yuzuru smiled at him, running his long fingers through Javiers hair. He couldn’t quite argue with that idea. They took turns in the bathroom to be more efficient and not get distracted and by the time Yuzuru came out toweling his hair dry, Javier was dozing off in bed. He blinks his eyes open when he feels the mattress dip and Yuzuru cuddling up against his side, he smiles a bit sleepily at him, presses a kiss to his forehead and then is out in a second.

\----

The sound of the alarm is very annoying and Javier groans, trying to bury himself into the pillow and drown the noise out but it doesn’t work. Yuzuru is moving next to him, finally turning the annoying thing off but he is too awake to go back to sleep. Yuzuru on the other hand turns and buries himself into the sheets, half under Javier. 

“Mi amor, we have to get up…” Javier says and Yuzuru whines a bit at that. “I know I do not want either but if we miss our train your mom is going to murder me and who are you going to take a nap with once we arrive in Sendai if I am dead?” That may have done the magic because Yuzuru huffs but pulls away to sit up. Javier does the same and they both stretch at the same time, chuckling at that. Both got ready, trading places in the bathroom like the night before, quickly checking over the room to make sure nothing was forgotten. Shortly after 8 a.m they made their way down to the lobby to grab a quick breakfast with Yumi who was already waiting for them.

She could see how tired both of them were so the conversations were kept light. After breakfast a car drove them to the station and they got on their train. Javier vaguely remembers taking his seat next to Yuzuru then he was asleep again. It was Yumi who gently woke them up a few minutes before they would arrive in Tokyo to switch trains towards Sendai. Javier swears he did all of that on autopilot but so did Yuzuru who was hiding his yawns behind the face mask he wore. The second part of their nap took place once they were on the right train but this time Yuzuru woke him up, having been jolted awake by excitement to be back home. Most importantly this time he would actually have some free time to enjoy staying home.

\----

Javier thought that he would need a few more hours to sleep but he was surprisingly awake after his train naps and so was Yuzuru. So instead of going to bed and rest some more, they decided to unpack, enjoy a light afternoon meal with Yumi; then later go out for dinner once his father is back home. The weather was quite nice that day and the two decided to sit on the porch, enjoying the sound of birds in the small garden they had. It was nice just to sit there, Javier realised how little he had done that in the past years. Even if he was out and about mostly it was for his work unless it was a date with Yuzuru. 

“This is nice…” He mumbled, eyes closed letting the rays of sun, shine in his face. 

“It is. Don’t do this often when home.” Yuzuru admitted too and Javier turned his face to look at him, biting his lips because his boyfriend looked beautiful in that moment. The sun illuminated his fair skin, his hair looked even softer and shinier than usual; a small smile was dancing along his lips as he spoke with eyes closed. He looked so peaceful and relaxed, something he hadn’t really seen on him before. While Javier always tries to make him rest and take a small distance from all his responsibilities and pressure while they are together, this was something else. Yuzuru looked at ease and happy when he was in Sendai, something he had not yet achieved in Toronto as it was a training base for him mostly. Maybe with Javier in his life it has changed a little bit, he knows it has but being in his home-town definitely changed him. 

“Do you miss home?” Javier couldn’t help but ask, cursing how insecure his voice sounded asking that question. Yuzuru must have sensed it (he always does) and opened his eyes to look at him. 

“What you mean?”

“Do you miss living in Sendai with your family around?” Javier clarified and he could see a small frown appearing on Yuzurus face, it didn’t suit him; he preferred that peaceful look from before.

“I do. I miss home, I miss family but...things change.” This time it was Javier who frowned. “I have now more in Toronto than skating. I have Javi and Effie. It is nice to be home, talk with Saya and dad in person, not phone but I also can’t hold your hand here in public.” Yuzuru moved closed and placed his hand on top of Javiers. “I will always miss home, you know that feeling never goes but my life is changing. I think I am changing. It is not just about skating now, it is more than that. Saitama made me truly realise that maybe there is more to life than skating. I can’t explain well but you know what I mean?” Javier nodded at that, he did understand, he saw the change happening over the course of the past months since they have been together. “I still want skate, I want win, go on if ankle is fine but also I do not just see one straight line to follow. It also means Sendai is maybe not where I want to live when skating is over.”

Javier swallowed hard. “You would stay in Toronto?” Yuzuru gave him a sweet smile.

“If the time comes where skating is over and we together. Yes, I think I could.” Javier was speechless, he never thought he could hear such words from Yuzuru and instead of trusting his voice he cupped his boyfriends cheek and kissed him on the lips. These questions could wait but it felt good to know that maybe once they make a decision for themselves in the future, it wouldn’t be such a hard thing to do.


	42. #42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru felt a bit suspended in time all throughout the tour and now back in Sendai with Javier by his side._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV, well Japanese Nationals is happening. Yuzuru got 110,72 for his short and habsjjz I am so happy for him also I got distracted to post in the morning. I hope I can make an update for Monday but I am not making promises given the next days schedule for comp. I will do my best. I also have to either write more in advance or put a hold on updates due to rl... Holidays still gonna be busy. 🙈

Yuzuru felt a bit suspended in time all throughout the tour and now back in Sendai with Javier by his side. He couldn’t quite believe it was happening. His boyfriend in his home, meeting his family and friends. How welcome everyone was towards Javier as well. It was nice but he also knew that this is not going to be for long. Javier was meant to leave Japan in two days again and until he returns to Toronto they are not going to see each other. It will only be two weeks or so but it was still a bit weird for him to be away.

Since Helsinki, Javier has always been such a strong presence in his life, just like his mother was. Either being there to support him through rehab and harsh training or actually going to the competitions with him. The fact he also joined him for the ice shows was more than he expected to happen. Yuzuru knew he asked for quite a lot but Javier agreed, made time for him and as he watches him now helping his mother in the kitchen from the couch, he can’t help but feel his heart skip a few beats. He can hear some soft conversation but doesn’t understand what the two are talking about over the sound of the TV. Yuzuru is dragged from his thoughts by his father's voice and he jumps a bit in his seat, having forgotten he was sitting next to him.

“He is a fine young man. He seems to put you as priority.” Yuzuru bites his lips.

“Sometimes I feel he may be doing it too much. He had so much work to do but he still made time to come to Japan and be here. I do not know if I am being too selfish for asking him to be with me… I would rather not but it feels nice to have him around.”

“You seem to be more relaxed, free and of course happy whenever he is around. Your mom told me how you have changed a bit since you met him but in a good way. Your focus is not purely on skating.”

Yuzuru nods at his fathers words. “Yes, I am thinking that maybe...maybe he is part of my future after skating. I won’t be able to continue forever.” 

His father hums and then clasps his had on his shoulder. “I am happy you have found someone who makes you think beyond of what you have now. He is a good boy but if he ever hurts you I am gonna have a word with him or two.” Yuzuru blushes bright red.

“...that won’t be needed, I think so at least.” His eyes move to the form in the kitchen, then he hears that unmistakable laugh and he starts to smile too. “I love him and I want to make this work no matter what comes.”

“Good. That is all I need to know. How are your studies going?” His father changes the subject and they end up talking about his courses and homework until Javier comes to inform them that dinner is ready. 

\----

On the last full day Javier has in Sendai, Yuzuru plans to visit somewhere that is special for him. They wake up quite early, eat a quick breakfast and then take the bus. It is not so close to the city and it is a good hour or more until they finally arrive in front of the shrine. Even from the bus station it is a walk but neither of them mind it. It is a very nice morning, the temperature warm but not too much. 

Akiu Shrine is just as pretty as Yuzuru remembers and it is a few minutes before official opening, so there is nobody around. He doesn’t have to worry about being recognized or meeting fans. One of the priests is checking the grounds but stops when he spots the two of them walk down the stone path. Yuzuru recognizes the man and it seems he is also as the priests bows to him in greeting. Yuzuru returns it too and they exchange a few words in Japanese. Javier seems to be looking around and letting them converse. 

The conversation is brief and when the priest excuses himself Yuzuru turns to Javier. “Let’s go and wash.” Javier nods, following Yuzuru and his instructions how and what to do at the shrine, then they go and pray. They mostly move in silence, aside from Yuzuru giving a few instructions but Javier seems to have done his research because he is doing everything that is custom. It makes Yuzuru feel proud and appreciative too. Javier always makes sure to be familiar with Japanese customs and that shows respect towards where Yuzuru is coming from. Not everyone he had met over the years have tried to do that, was it professional or personal acquaintances. 

\----

Before they leave they stop in front of the small shop that sells different kind of charms. Javier seems to be especially interested in them but as he is picking the ones he wants out he asks Yuzuru to look somewhere else. Yuzuru pouts but does so, turning his back on him. A few minutes later Javier bumps his shoulder that he is finished. Yuzuru bids goodbye to the priest on their way out.

“So what did you get?” He can’t help but ask, curious of what Javier picked.

“It’s a secret.” The other flashes him a grin and Yuzuru just rolls his eyes, dropping the topic for now. They walk in silence towards the bus station, hands bumping together here and there, the only sign of affection they can show in public.

Instead of returning home which Javier may have been expecting from his slightly confused expression when they change to a different metro line than the one they took this morning; Yuzuru can’t help but smile.

“We going somewhere special first.” Yuzuru leads the way and when they finally arrive after another short walk, he links his arms with Javiers in front of the building. “Today they closed but I call in advance. I can go in.” Yuzuru produces a set of keys from his pocket and Javier chuckles.

“Why am I not surprised you have your own set of keys for the Ice Rink Sendai?” Yuzuru pulls him towards the door instead of answering. He feels excitement rising in his chest, it has been a while since he was here. He made sure he can use the rink, he would have chosen a day where they are generally open but when he called them up a few days ago they offered that he can come in on the day they are closed for the public. Yuzuru would be free to use anything and resurface the ice the next morning before opening anyway. 

Yuzuru unlocks one of the backdoors and steps inside, closing the door behind them and then leading Javier towards the front. Javier stops by the reception desk his eyes looking to a specific corner. Yuzuru knows he is looking at the small museum corner and tells him to go and look around, he would go turn on the lights in the rink and meet him by the rental skates. Javier gives him a single nod and he is off to look and something twists in Yuzurus stomach. He knows Javier is a fan of his too, knows about his past but letting him go and look around there where his past is kind of displayed feels a bit weird. Shaking himself he brushes that feeling off and goes to find the light switches.

Yuzuru is so familiar with the rink from his past he finds the right office to turn on the lights, checks the sound system and even plugs his iPod in so they can listen to some music. By the time he is finished and goes to the rental skates Javier is standing there, leaning on the counter. 

“Do you have your skates in some hidden locker or are we doing rental skates?” 

“What you think?” Yuzuru grins at Javier and the other just shakes his head amused.

“I am gonna grab my size. I will see you on the ice in a few minutes.” Yuzuru turns around towards the generic lockers of athletes with a light skip in his step.


	43. #43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier never expected to be taken to Ice Rink Sendai on a day where nobody else would be around. As a fan of Yuzurus he knew one day he would make it here where his career started as a small child going skating with his sister._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Javier never expected to be taken to Ice Rink Sendai on a day where nobody else would be around. As a fan of Yuzurus he knew one day he would make it here where his career started as a small child going skating with his sister. He knew almost everything there was to know about Yuzurus career, he had read his books too and while on some days it gave him a whiplash to actually hold and kiss him as his boyfriend; he couldn’t hide his curiosity when they stepped inside. Luckily instead of teasing him, Yuzuru told him to go and look around, especially in the one corner that contained some treasures from his past. With a small nod Javier made his way over there, letting Yuzuru go around and turn on the lights or whatever else he himself felt he needed to do. This place was special for both of them even if in different ways.

Javier knows partially what he should be expected due to fans having shared it prior, especially about the cute and tiny skates displayed in the cabinet. He can’t help but coo at it himself because it is just adorable. He shakes him off though because apparently there is so much else to see in the small corner. Pictures upon pictures he had not seen before, letters or diplomas of that sort written in Japanese. He doesn’t understand a single word of anything but there is no need. Just the way it is displayed, the obvious care and admiration behind it, the pictures and signatures with different dates from all over the years. His stomach does a flip and he has to press his hand to his chest to calm himself. Javier feels overwhelmed by it all, because this is someone who had worked most of his life to be where he is. It is the history of a legend in figure skating while that same person remains humble and just as hardworking as he was on the very first days; laced with childish excitement each time they put on their skates. 

If it was even possible, Javier feels even more amazed by Yuzuru, admiring his life and all the things he had been through as it wasn’t always happy. He wonders more if there were longer periods of sadness and hurt in his life than actual happiness. He hopes that at now with him by his side he feels more happy even on days where training or competitions do not go the way he wished and trained for. Javier knows it may be a bit selfish to hope for that as he is not the only important person in Yuzurus life but maybe, just a tiny bit he had turned things around because for him the other has. Since they have known each other on a personal level not just mutual admiration for each other's work, because he knows how Yuzuru supports his own career; he had made his life a bit better and all Javier wishes to make is the same impact for Yuzuru. Given he is here, taken to a special place Yuzuru cherishes years down the line, introducing him to his family and long time friends he knows this is not something they are in for a short time. 

“Get a grip.” Javier gives himself a double slap on the cheeks to bring himself out of the never ending thoughts he has now. He can’t go down that lane right now, he has to go and spend some time with Yuzuru. Additionally he is a bit excited to skate with him here. It has been a while for him personally to step on the ice but he is not too bad at it, he just hopes he won’t fall on his ass the moment his skates will touch the ice. Taking a few collecting breaths he makes his way towards the big source of light, seeing how Yuzuru must have found the right switches. He is still first by the rental counter but Yuzuru joins him a few minutes later, soft music playing now in the background. Javier smiles. 

“Do you have your skates in some hidden locker or are we doing rental skates?” 

“What you think?” Yuzuru grins at Javier and he can’t help but shakes his head in amusement. He didn’t expect anything else.

“I am gonna grab my size. I will see you on the ice in a few minutes.” Javier watches as Yuzuru turns around towards the generic lockers of athletes with a light skip in his step. He himself goes around the counter to the row of skates, searching for the right rack for his size. Before leaving to pull them on at the benches he spots a sheet of paper on the counter, it looks like to be a list of skates given out. With a smile he sighs in his own name and size, along with the date and time. 

\----

Javier is struggling with his laces a little bit when he hears the familiar clack of skate-guards on the floor and Yuzuru is walking towards him in identical skates he wears usually. He knows that he has several pair in rotation but can’t help but ask him.

“Is this a pair you sent back for sharpening or do you keep one always around?” Yuzuru sits down next to him waiting for Javier to finish with his skates. 

“Both? I always have skates here but this will go with me home once I test it out. Blades were done the other day and mom brought it to the rink for me.” Javier hums, standing up to see if everything sits right, tight enough to hold his ankles and nods when it is all okay.

“So… technically we are doing a test for you now if your skates are ready?” Yuzuru laughs, well aware he is being teased and takes Javiers hand to pull him towards the ice. 

“Yes and no. I also came here to skate with boyfriend and see him fall on his ass.”

Javier let’s out an offended gasp making Yuzuru laugh again. “Excuse you, I may have not skated in a while but that does not mean I am gonna fall…”

“We will see…” Yuzuru releases his arms and skips towards the entrance, bending forward to greet the ice. It takes a few seconds longer than usual and he seems to be muttering something under his breath, Javier watches from the few steps away; not wanting to break that moment. Then Yuzuru stands up, taking off his guards and glides forward on the fresh ice. Javier takes a deep breath and follows.

\----

At first Javier is moving slowly, getting adjusted to the ice and the rental skates as well. To his surprise Yuzuru is by his side, not going off to skate around and test out his blades but instead goes along with his speed, occasionally doing a circle around him when Javier has to stop feeling wobbly. There is a constant smile on Yuzurus face and sent of content. After his third round Javier feels a bit more stable and holds out a hand for Yuzuru to take, which the other does quickly. From then on they do a few more rounds together, holding hands with a bit more speed then before and everything feels great. 

“Thank you for bringing me here.” Javier says as they round a corner and Yuzuru squeezes his hand.

“I am happy Habi is here with me.” Javier stops and so does Yuzuru, then he pulls the other against his chest and leans in to kiss him. Yuzuru melts against his chest and they exchange several small and soft kisses. Javier pulls away to press a kiss to his boyfriends forehead.

“Now… you go and do some crazy things to test your blades, I will go and pick a song for you.” Yuzuru is grinning and off in a speed that still amazes him to this day. With his gaze following Yuzuru around he makes his way to the others iPod to go through his playlist. His thumb halts over a certain title and he can’t help but press on play. After a second the sound of a breath fills the arena and the first drum follows. When Javier looks up Yuzuru has his hand up in the air, palm facing the ceiling, body moving to the sound of his music. It’s as if he was expecting this music to be played making Javiers heart skip a beat.


	44. #44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Leaving to Canada feels weird just as much as he expected it to feel like._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV, there may not be an update on Monday. Depends on my schedule this weekend. Sorry in advance but I will try to still do 2 updates next week somehow. 😊

Leaving to Canada feels weird just as much as he expected it to feel like. He misses his home and Effie too but leaving Yuzuru is not something he really enjoys. He had fun the past weeks and feels like they have grown so much closer to each other than before. Javier has seen parts of Yuzurus life nobody has before and that leaves him a bit breathless and chocked up a few times a day. He still can't believe it that he is here, which he does need to get a grip of as it seems it is something permanent from both. With a sigh he tosses the last shirt in his suitcase, the sound must bring Yuzuru out if his focus on his game.

"Javi, everything okay?" He asks, putting the console down and sitting up to look at Javier. He had been distracting himself because when Javier started to pack his things Yuzuru kept frowning and pouting. Now there is worry etched in his features and Javier hated that. He crossed the few steps between them and touched Yuzurus cheek.

"I don't want to go even if I know I have to." Yuzurus expression changes, so many emotions crossing Javier has a hard time cataloging all of them in his memories. He feels his boyfriend lean into his touch then closes his eyes.

"I don't want you to go but I know you have to." He says and Javier can't just stand there. He drops to his knees so they are more eye-level and leans in to kiss him. Yuzuru gasps not expecting the contact since his eyes were closed but leans into it instantly, returning the kiss. It is slow, sweet and filled with so much emotions Javier has to pull away after a while, his air knocked out of his lungs, eyes stinging a little bit.

"You are back in a week or two?" Yuzuru bites his lips and nods, eyes slowly opening.

"Have to start preparing for season early and also discuss things with doctors. Ankle needs more resting too. I thought to try new training method too it should help build muscle faster but have to speak it through with physician." Javier is nodding be has seen some new books Yuzuru has been going through.

"Will you come to me when you are back?" Javier hates how insecure his voice sounds, as if he doesn't know that Yuzuru would try to come over to his place as soon as he can. Should it be on the day of his arrival or a few days later when jetlag and other commitments are less. Yuzuru leans forward to press a kiss to his forehead.

"I come from airport. Promise. I don't wanna spend time in Toronto without you when I back." Javier smiles and moves forward to wrap his arms around Yuzuru, even if his knees start to protest in this position. They stay like that for a few more minutes until a soft knock interrupts them. Yumi is calling for dinner, the last one Javier is going to have with the full Hanyu family.

\----

The following morning he wakes up with Yuzuru in his arms, shares a few more kisses before he has to get ready. A taxi takes him to Sendai airport not wanting to bother Yumi to drive and this way he can say goodbye with a kiss from Yuzuru and hug to her, in public they couldn't really do that. 

As the plane takes off and he watches Sendai vanish behind the clouds, he thinks of a certain boy in his childhood bedroom hugging Pooh to his chest. Javier can't wait to see him again soon.

\----

The time between Javier returning to Canada and Yuzuru doing the same passes quickly. Javier is swamped with work and has to attend a few events in Toronto too. It is nice but also very exhausting. He is more than happy to faceplant into his mattress every single day, knowing he will wake early to be able to speak with Yuzuru on the phone. Timezones suck but they make it work, message throughout the day too but Javier certainly has been getting less sleep due to it all. It is different, something they may need to get used to as Javier could have issues to join for competitions next season. He shakes that thought away, it's still a few months to go then closes his eyes and falls asleep. 

His phone rings way too early for his liking but it's needed. Javier has enough time to start his coffee machines before the sound of an incoming call breaks the silence of his apartment. Javier accepts the video call with a bright though sleepy smile on his face. Yuzuru looks gorgeous and he forgets about the fact that's it's 4 a.m in Toronto.

"Hey babe." He says and Yuzuru smiles even brighter if possible.

"Boarding soon. Coming home." He says and Javier feels his heart skip a beat at the sound of that. It's not Toronto, it's not a place he lives at, it's home and he knows he is one of the reasons why Yuzuru thinks of Canada that way now.

"Are you at the Lounge?" Yuzuru nods, otherwise he wouldn't have done a video call, it would be too open in public, the risk of people seeing his screen. In the ANA Lounge he doesn't have to worry about prying eyes or ears.

"Arrive... I think very late for you. I take taxi there. You don't have to stay awake." Javier is shaking his head.

"I will. No matter how late or early or whatever time it is going to be. I want to kiss you and welcome you home." Yuzuru bites his lips and brushes some hair behind his ear.

"Okay..." Yuzuru says and they just look at each other through the screen, not really talking until the sound of an announcement disturbs the silence and Yuzuru looks away.

"Have to go now... See you soon Habi." Javier nods and wishes him a slight flight. He stares at his phone for a bit longer even if the screen turns black. Reality calls with the sound of his coffee machine finished and Effie rubbing against his leg to ask for breakfast.

\----

Javier was shifting between sleep and being awake. He tracked the flight of Yuzuru and it appeared to be delayed, which was unusual but nothing out of ordinary either. He simply found it annoying because it was now closer to 3 a.m and he had been awake for almost 24 hours. He opted out of his afternoon nap to finish editing an extra video and it may have been the wrong choice. He should have slept a bit because now he struggled to keep his eyes open. 

Lost in his thoughts he missed the sound of keys opening the door but the unmistakable sound of suitcases being pushed inside woke him up. In a second he jumped out of bed and hurried to the door. In the dim light of a single lamp Yuzuru dared to switch on, did he stand hovering over his backpack but raised his head at the sound of footsteps. Javier stopped a few feet away staring. Yuzuru looked travelworn but a smile appeared on his face. Javier moved then and enveloped him in a tight embrace. Yuzuru buried his face in his shoulder though whined about how bad he must smell and maybe they shouldn't hug for too long. 

"I don't care if you smell like canned air and a lot of people. I just want to hug you for a minute... Or five." Yuzuru stopped his complains, hugging Javier tighter too. He doesn't know how long they stand there but it must be long because Yuzuru is slowly leaning more towards him, ready to fall asleep on his feet. 

"Okay. Time for a quick shower and then we go sleep... For a day." Yuzuru pulls back pressing a kiss to Javiers lips.

"Doesn't Javi have work?" Javier shakes his head.

"No, I worked all day yesterday to have a few days free when you return." Yuzuru smiles again and kisses Javier on the lips, more lingering then the one before.

"I hurry." He says after they break apart and vanished inside the bathroom for a quick shower. Javier moves back to bed and is almost asleep when the mattress dips and Yuzuru presses against his chest. Both sigh content and fall asleep. 


	45. #45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru has been bone dead tired when he finally arrived in Toronto._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV, if mistakes a lot... I have to apologise this has been written in the go.

Yuzuru has been bone dead tired when he finally arrived in Toronto. His flight got delayed and it became much later when he found himself in a taxi towards Javiers apartment, making sure his mother got home safe. He decided to take one luggage with him where he knew his skates and items were inside he needs the following days. He was too scared to look at the time on the clock when he finally turned the keys in the lock. Yuzuru tried to be silent because while Javier had told him he would wait up for him he also could be asleep given his late arrival. 

He turned on a small lamp by the couch simply to avoid tripping over his own two feet, luggage or Effie. He was fumbling with his backpack to take his phone out but stopped as he heard rushed footsteps. Raising his head his eyes locked with Javiers and he couldn't breathe for a split second. The next he knew he was enveloped in a hug and it feels so right to be in that warm embrace again.

Javier didn't listen to any of his complains about how bad he must smell but does let go of him so be can go take a shower. Yuzuru tried to be quick but the warm water was magical on his tired muscles. He was unable to sleep on the plane due to excitement and he regrets it now. Somehow he managed to extradict himself from the bathroom at one point. Javier was almost asleep again when he crawled next to him but still awake enough to wrap his arms around him. Yuzuru sighed purely out content and fell asleep quicker than any night he spent apart from Javier. 

\----

Yuzuru is the first to be awake, rising when Effie jumps on the bed. He checks on Javier but the other is knocked out cold by his side. Yuzuru moves slowly and checks the time, it is closer to noon than morning now. He pushes himself off the mattress to take Effie to the living room, feed her, making sure she is not going to wake Javier up with complaints. Then he drinks a glass of water feeling parched. He wonders if he should get going with his day or go back to sleep. Effie curls up on the couch after eating and he decides to the same. Yuzuru joins Javier in bed again and surprisingly falls asleep after a few minutes.

\----

Next time he wakes up Javier is gone and the sheets are cold as he moves his fingers to touch it. Rolling on his back he stretches checks his phone again, sitting up quickly. The movement made him feel dizzy but it's past 4 p.m and he is cursing himself for sleeping this long.

Javier is as expected in the kitchen, the smell of food making Yuzurus stomach growl and he realizes how long it has been since he last ate.

"Ohayo." He calls out and Javier looks up from the pot he was looking at. His smile is bright and Yuzurus stomach does a weird flip for a whole different reason.

"Good morning... Well afternoon but we ignore that." Yuzuru goes up to him and presses a kiss to Javiers cheek.

"Why not wake me... It is late. We lost almost whole day. When you wake?" Yuzuru pouts but Javier grins.

"We were both tired and about an hour ago? I decided to start on some food for us. Would have woken you up when it's done..." Yuzuru would like to pout more but he can't, he is too happy to be in the same place as Javier again. Instead be wraps his arms around Javier from behind. He watches him add the last ingredients to what seems like to be a fish stew.

Yuzuru nearly falls asleep again standing and hugging Javier in the kitchen which should be embarrassing but the other does not say anything. Yuzuru ends up preparing the table just to do something against the sleepiness.

The food is warm and delicious, Javiers cooking always making him feel home just like his mothers. He mostly eats what his body needs to keep up with his training, get the most nutrients out of a meal but while Javier cooks for him keeping that in mind it just tastes much better. He will keep that information to himself instead of telling his sponsor about it.

"So what are the plans for today?" Javier asks as they clear the table and do the dishes together.

"No plans. Since delay I ask mom to cancel doctor for me, we go in two days. There is no hurry. I am free to spend time with Habi."

"Perfect. What do you want to do since we are both free?" Yuzuru thought about it but everything that couples would do involves leaving the apartment. He was still tired, Javier was trying to cover each time he yawned but Yuzuru saw he was tired too. Javier must have worked really hard to free some of his time for him.

"What about watching things? You can show your new videos? And then we sleep again? In the morning this time we set alarm and go out to our favourite place to eat breakfast. You know the one with those bowls we both like. They have best fresh orange juice too." Javier stepped up to him and wrapped his arms around his middle.

"Hmm... Sounds lovely. I like it. I also think you will like the videos I want to post. I have been doing really old and traditional Spanish cooking." Yuzuru stomach did a little flop and be knew he couldn't hide his increasing blush on his cheeks.

"Did you do them in Spanish with subtitles?" His voice betrays him, both excited and nervous to hear the answer.

"Yes, decided to switch back to that for these ones especially. Why?" Yuzuru licks along his lower lip, still trying to mask it all.

"I like those..." He left his explanation at that and just scurried off to fetch the laptop and move it to the bedroom. Javier would prepare a light snack and some drinks for them. Yuzuru was leaning against the headboard with the laptop positioned in a way both will see it. He all but needed Javier to start the files he wanted to show him. 

Javier pushed a few buttons and a new video came to life, showing his intro to the channel, standing in his kitchen. Yuzuru bit down on his lower lip the second Javier in the video started to speak fluent Spanish. There were subtitles about everything, neat lists on the side of the screen showing details what kind of ingredients one would neat. It was professional just like it used to with a few added tricks and pieces. 

Yuzuru on the other hand couldn't concentrate on the cooking itself, he was mesmerized just like the first time he Javiers video he found on YouTube. Now Javier had shorter hair, less gel in his hair but still handsome and his voice was still just as charming if not more. A shiver ran down his spine and Javier turned to him. 

"Are you cold? Should I make it warmer here?" Yuzuru quickly shook his head saying he was fine though he did pull the blankets up to his chest. He wouldn't want his boyfriend to know he was getting turned on hearing him speak fluent Spanish in a low cut long-sleeved shirt, which he always pushes back to his elbows to not make it a mess. It may be working for the first video but the second is worse due to changing angles and Yuzuru seeing a very nice ass in way too tight jeans. It has been a while since they touched it other or anything and he was being attacked by his weaknesses.

He jumped when he felt a hot breath in his ear. "So... I have a feeling you like the videos, do we need to watch further?" Yuzuru dared to look up at Javier and saw a glint of mischief but also hunger. "It is still amazing how Spanish and my presence can make you feel hot and bothered."

Yuzuru tried to deny it for with long explanations but eventually gave up with a sigh. "Yes, I randomly found sexy Spanish boy cooking on YouTube and I was done for... the... other things came later."

"Ooooh. Which one of my videos was the first that made you feel you want to jump me?"

"I am not saying. Secret. Nope." Javier laughed.

"I will just check your account history." Yuzuru moved so fast he knocked the laptop down on the floor, luckily nothing broken and threw himself at Javier just to simply stop him from doing that. For a few hours they forgot about videos and languages and Yuzuru can't really complain about it. 


	46. #46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru really enjoyed the little break from everything with Javier, spending time in his apartment, barely going out only to their favourite place._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First update for this work since the new year started. Happy New Year everyone, please enjoy some softness.

Yuzuru really enjoyed the little break from everything with Javier, spending time in his apartment, barely going out only to their favourite place. Effectively he has been on a break prior his return to Toronto but he also did some sponsor work and that always makes him feel more drained at the end. So when it came to the day he had to leave for his doctor's appointment he didn't want to. Javier had to almost drag him out of bed, promising to make him something nice to eat when he returns and based on the results he would get he may have a bit more resting to do. 

Yuzuru knew all that much. He would have his check-up, wait a day or two for some of the results that do take time, have a few meetings with his coaches mostly about the plans for the upcoming season. He decided that he would be re-cycling his programs again, with the recovery and all other works on top of his studies he would rather not go for new ones. Yuzuru felt they were rather incomplete and wanted to bring them to a whole new level. 

After his appointment and tests he made his way with his mother to the club to have a meeting with Brian and Ghislain. They sat inside Brian's office and for a few minutes didn’t say a single word. Yuzuru broke the silence in the end.

“I will do same program next season, also no media day. I want to train and not be distracted. I do not want them to know early one. Layout...I want to test different things… I want to do quad Axel but also bring back Lutz. Some combo I want to try as well…” He pauses seeing a bit of color drain from Brian's face, he knows he wants a lot of things and they still have rehabilitation going on, it could be delayed by a lot. Different layouts for the same program could cause issues as well, as he is not set to practice it constantly with one. On the other hand it’s not the first time Yuzuru is improvising but at least now he wants to work towards those layouts in advance and not last minute, in the middle of a program after making some mistakes. 

“Are you sure about all this? There are definite risk of not settling on a layout. Of course alternatives are always good in case you make mistakes but… also the axel cannot be a priority if you want to bring back the Lutz.” Ghislain nods and cuts in with his own thoughts.

“If you fall on a quad axel it is going to be painful, you have done it before and it knocks you out. It could also mess with your triple axel as well.” Yuzuru knows all this, he had done his thoughts on the topic, calculated all the risks about it.

“I know. I still want to do also… try maybe quint toe, just to see rotations. It is almost the same as I need for axel, so I want to try, in harness.” It is a pure miracle Brian does not fall off his chair hearing those words, has to grip the edge of his desk. Ghislain is not too surprised by the idea, he appears to be more on board with it.

“That could actually be a good idea, it could help you get the height, rotation speed and some of the landing tested.” Brian sighs and runs a hand along his face.

“I have a feeling I have not much say in this but we are going to limit these crazy training of yours, only a couple of attempts, once a week. Otherwise your programs and generic layout plans are going to be priority.” Yuzuru nods, he understands and he is not going to fight his coaches about this. The plans for the upcoming season are even ambitious for his own, but now that maybe his ankle is in a better shape, his new training methods could help in not just recovery but stability he is not going to risk everything. 

“I think… if judges and scores are okay next season and ankle too, I want to go to Beijing. But… I do not have much hope.” Both his coaches hum in sympathy, as the new system was obviously failing and the judges use it to their advantage or that of the skater they prefer. “I need to bring quality but also difficulty. Winning won’t be easy but I not ready to give up.”

Brian nods and takes a few notes down in the little book he keeps for himself. When he is finished he looks up at Yuzuru. “Do you have all the results out or are they going to take a few more days?” 

“I have to wait for two… should get them soon, I will e-mail it to you when I get. Until then I am allowed to do skating but should hold back jumps. Stroking and skating skills are fine and I want to join those sessions quickly. Also need to contact Shae and Jeff to go through programs again, maybe change a few things. I thought of few layouts.” Yuzuru produces a piece of paper from his bag and hands it over to Brian first. Once he is done he gives it to Ghislain who tries to hold back a small smile seeing a few of his ideas. 

“Okay. I think we can work with these, once we have your results we set up the complete training plan but the skating lessons with Tracy should be fine. The first one is in two days when she is back from her well deserved holiday.” Yuzuru nods his head eagerly gathering his things, ready to leave. “You seem to be in a hurry.” Brian can’t help but comment, a small teasing smile on his lips. Yuzuru blushes slightly, clearing his throat.

“I promise Javi to be back early so we can eat together… he is cooking.” Ghislain pats his arm and smiles.

“He is good for you. You finally take time to relax and do not spend as much time thinking about skating. That is good. Resting is also essential.” Yuzuru knows all this, there has been a lot of change in his life since he had met Javier, definitely towards the good. His coaches and some skaters even made comments how much Yuzuru had changed. He also knows that the photographers who are always at competitions since he is a teenager has seen the change. 

“Yes… I will go now. See you.” Yuzuru bites his lip not wanting to remember how yesterday he definitely wasn’t just resting with Javier. He almost sprints out of the office, not missing the laughter that follows from his coaches at his behaviour. 

\----

Yuzuru takes the stairs to Javiers apartment, needing some time to think about what his coaches said, he also remembers the question the other had asked back in Sendai but since then neither of them addressed. Maybe it would be time, he already spends more time here than back in the apartment he shares with his mother. He honestly doesn’t know what would be the best decision to make. 

Distracted with his thoughts he fiddles with the keys so long that the door is opened for him in the end, Javier standing there with his apron on. Yuzuru stares his mouth dropping open a little bit. In that exact moment he finds the answers.

“I want to move in with you.” Javier froze in front of him and stared, not expecting this to come out of his mouth first instead of any other greeting.

“You sure? When? I mean.. I know we spoke of it but...are you sue?” Yuzuru stepped inside, closed the door behind him and then wrapped his arms around Javiers neck. 

“I am sure, I was sure when I told you yes before and maybe in the next weeks? Before training start? Have to speak with mom but...maybe she wants to go to Japan for summer. Lot of questions but I want...if you still…” He couldn’t finish his question because he felt lips on his own. The kiss was anything but sweet and gentle, it was pure passion. They stumbled their way to the bedroom, forgetting about the food Javier was preparing or anything else then each other. Yuzuru was sure, he had maybe never been this sure in his entire life and he was the person who said as a child he would win two back-to-back Olympic gold medals.


	47. #47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier didn’t expect the increased interest of the two of them moving in together. He knew it was going to happen eventually but it was the last thing he thought the other would say when he opened the door._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Javier didn’t expect the increased interest of the two of them moving in together. He knew it was going to happen eventually but it was the last thing he thought the other would say when he opened the door. He opened the door in the first place because he heard the fumbling and Effie had taken interest in the door too which she only did whenever Yuzuru would come home.  _ Little ungrateful _ , he thought but didn’t mind. Effie wasn’t keen on others but had taken on Yuzuru instantly and that certainly made things easier for him. He really simply didn’t expect or had prepared himself mentally for those words but after the initial shock he was more than happy to hear that. He couldn’t stop himself from kissing Yuzuru right there by the door, essentially forgetting about the food he was making. 

The two were cuddling in bed, Javier planting several small kisses on naked skin he could reach. Yuzuru was resting on his stomach, relaxed and just a bit tired. Javier kissed his shoulder again, hand running along his spine. “Are you really sure?” He couldn’t help but ask him.

Yuzuru opened his eyes and smiled at him. “Yes, I am.” Javier bit down on his lower to stop himself from grinning too hard. “I will call mom and speak with her about it...in a bit.” A slight flush appeared on his features and Javier had to bite his lip now for a whole different reason.

“Okay… I will go and check on our food before I end up burning down my apartment I am soon going to be share with you more permanently.” Sneaking in a kiss to Yuzurus lips he got out of bed, grabbing his discarded boxers and sweatpants along the way. Luckily the food was safe along with the apartment and he quickly finished the food. He could hear some muffled talk from the bedroom and he guessed Yuzuru called his mother, leaving him be for the time being. 

Javier just finished setting the table when Yuzuru appeared wearing boxers and shirt. “Perfect timing, we can eat...did you talk with your mom?” Yuzuru wrapped his arms around his neck and nodded.

“Yes, she is happy. Warned me it won’t be easy but said we can pack things up. If I move, she would go back to Japan for a bit but comes back for competitions. She said you may need to drive me to training with her not around…” Yuzuru chewed on his lower lip, feeling a bit embarrassed about not having a driver's license and being so reliant on someone else. He can take the train too but first he has to figure out the new route.

“I am fine with that, I am more free than other people. We have to set up a schedule but we have been quite good with those lately...We will be fine. Come now… let’s eat and then we can plan a little bit. Also maybe we should sort out my extra room, for some space for your things.”

\----

It took them about three days to get things sorted in the apartment before Yuzuru could start moving in. Javier divided the extra room he had with his things and room for Yuzurus. Even ordered some extra shelving and storage space. A friend helped him out with he drilling and setting up while Yuzuru was training at TCC. Javier also made extra room in his so called office corner in the living room, making sure it would fit Yuzurus desk, which he uses for his studies. At first he thought of making the extra room into an office but Yuzuru said he likes the sunny and open air in the living room more; it would also mean their desks are next to each other and could be closer when either of them is working on their tasks.

The first moving boxes appeared a week later, mostly containing items that they put into the room and Yuzuru wouldn’t need, then the boxes with clothes and training gear appeared and they managed to fit it all in the wardrobe in the bedroom, though Javier did some extra measurements to maybe buy a smaller commode for all his sinfully tight UA outfits. Yuzuru barely had kitchen items, only a few mugs with Winnie the Pooh he added to the collection of cat ones Javier had. Soon the bathroom contained more of the items Yuzuru used, brands Javier himself wasn’t familiar with or could read the labels from. Slowly but surely Yuzuru settled in and the apartment he shared with his mother became more empty. They decided to keep the lease as his mother would still come to Canada before his competitions to travel with him but definitely looked more empty. 

Javier went over there to fetch the last boxes Yuzuru wanted to bring and he felt a bit sad for the place, it has been their home for a really long time now. Yuzuru was busy tidying up the remaining items in his old bedroom and Javier looked through the items in the kitchen to make sure nothing would expire too soon. Yumi returned to Japan two days ago, so they had to make sure all was cleared out. Javier packed a bag with groceries to take with them and was about to take it to his car when Yuzuru appeared from the bedroom with one last box.

“Last one. Everything else is ok.” He announced and Javier nodded, taking the box from him. 

“Okay, I will bring these down and you lock up?” Yuzuru nodded pressing a kiss to Javiers cheek then looked around with a slightly sad expression. “You okay?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Yes, just a lot of memories...didn’t think I would move out before I retire. Not really before I met you.” Javier understood that.

“Take your time. I am going to wait in the car.” 

Yuzuru came down a few minutes later and if Javier spotted some redness in his eyes, he didn’t mention it, instead squeezed his thigh softly then drove them back to their now shared home. 

\----

Javier expected a few bumps while living together more permanently, especially with some of the more hectic days the two had due to their schedules. Yuzuru was training full time and Javier to drive more frequently, which he didn’t mind but he couldn’t always stay and wait for Yuzuru to finish. They had to share their schedules and that resulted in Javier setting up an account for them both to share the information. At first Yuzuru didn’t deem it necessary but after one miscalculated and communicated day, where Javier was two hours late to pick him up, they spent the evening to arrange it. From then on it was easier and more along the lines of who is doing what kind of task around the apartment. It surprised him that while Yuzuru may have appeared to be a mothers boy who didn’t know his way around with cleaning or cooking; he actually did know. Dividing the cleaning tasks was easy and even if Yuzuru was tired from his training or had bruised his hip due to quad training he never failed to complete them. 

Yuzuru also kept up with his studies, hunched over his laptop and notes, a frown on his face here and there when he had difficulty understanding the lecture he listened to. Those evenings Javier would settle on the couch to give him more space but make sure his tea was always warm and ready by his side. Yuzuru would then curl up next to him after he finishes, pressing a small kiss to his neck as a thank you for the care. If it was later into the night they would slowly prepare for bed if none of them were exceptionally sleepy, they would put on a movie and watch cuddled up against each other.

It was nice and Javier loved every second of it, then… they had the first serious fight since moving in together and he watches as Yuzuru took the keys to his old apartment and slammed the door of theirs shut behind him. 


	48. #48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It started with something tiny as leaving a shirt on the floor of the bathroom, in a more than acceptable hurried morning. Then it followed by a cup spilled on the floor, broken and not cleared up, with the danger of Effie getting hurt._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

It started with something tiny as leaving a shirt on the floor of the bathroom, in a more than acceptable hurried morning. Then it followed by a cup spilled on the floor, broken and not cleared up, with the danger of Effie getting hurt. Javier was a patient person and he usually didn’t bother with these things, he just sighed and took care of it. But somehow more and more things started to pile up. Yuzuru not being the only one at fault because Javier was swamped with his tasks as well. Both did but when Yuzuru got back from his training (had to take the train and bus because Javier had a meeting he couldn’t push) and apparently left his small suitcase in the middle for the door to make Javier trip over it, he snapped. 

“Yuzuru… what the hell?” Yuzuru appeared from the bedroom, hair in disarray and hiding a cover, most likely a post training nap. “You can’t be fucking real with leaving your luggage in the middle of the way. I could have broken a foot.” Javier knew he was being too angry for a simple mistake like that but in that particular moment he couldn’t stop himself.

“Sorry… I thought I put it aside.” Javier groaned and tossed his bag on the kitchen table, barely midful of his laptop inside. 

“You also left the broken cup on the floor the other day and Effie could have injured herself with all the pieces laying around.” Yuzuru pursed his lips. “Listen, I know we are both very busy but we gotta do our part. The whole place has been a mess for a while now and I know your next competition is coming up, it is really close and all that but...if we are not going to work together on this… how are we going to make it work?”

“Javi didn’t do the dishes or the laundry for a week. So why are you even shouting at me now?” Javier turned towards his boyfriend who stood there now with crossed arms and an angry frown on his face. “You come home, do not say hello and start shouting about things I already apologized for. I try really hard to make it work. It is different to live with you, I am really trying. Also just so you know I did the laundry you forgot and cleared the dishes too. I even made soup for you in case you hungry after coming home from long meeting.” He pointed at the stove where a pot truly stood, finally smelling the fragrance of the miso soup Yuzuru sometimes makes lingering in the air. “I forgot bag because I wanted to quickly do all that and take nap, because all tiring also to have good evening with Javi but doesn’t look like we will.” With a huff he turned around and vanished in the bedroom. Javier stood there slowly realizing his mistake. He looked around the apartment and yes, all the mess he ignored was cleared up, food was ready, he could see the clothes drying in the spare room on the hanger as well. Effie had a full bowl of food with fresh water. No dishes were in the sink.

The door to the bedroom opened and Yuzuru was now fully dressed, with a small bag slung over his shoulder, then he grabbed the suitcase Javier tripped over and the keys they rarely used. 

“Once Javi decides not to be an asshole and actually think or maybe talk in normal tone. I am not going to come back. For now, I go to old apartment. Mom is arriving tomorrow too so it may be best anyway.”

“Yuzu...wait…” Yuzuru didn’t stop just slammed the apartment door shut behind him, leaving Javier standing there in his shock. Taking a few steps back he dropped into one of the chairs close-by, staring at the closed door the sound of it slamming shut after an angry Yuzuru resonating in his ear.

\----

Javier realized his mistake rather quick, he shouldn’t have let his frustration out like that. Yuzuru leaving was understandable. They never fought though, their first and last one was when they could not agree on the plan for Japan and Javier had to cancel some of the weeks due to his work. Both of them have been quite busy these past weeks, it was midsummer now almost the end of it and Yuzuru had barely a month to go until his Challenger competition in Canada. He trained really hard while Javier was juggling several projects all at once. Technically he knew all that but his long meeting was bad, he probably not going to get the sponsorship deal he was looking forward to as they can’t find an arrangement that works for both of them. Javier was frustrated, tired and he let it all out on Yuzuru. His precious boyfriend who while being extremely tired did all the chores he should have done but neglected. 

He really fucked up and the fact Yuzuru stormed out instead of arguing with him further, to let it escalate further showed him how much. Yuzuru never let himself be pushed around, especially when it was unfair. He experienced that way too often from his friends, competition, skating federation or organization. In his private life he stood ground. Now though he avoided it. It reminded him of the last time they fought and how Yuzuru walked out then too. Javier buried his face in his hands and groaned, looking up when Effie rubbed against his leg. She gave him a look then glanced at the door and Javier knew what he was meant to do; even with her telling him. 

The last thing he wanted was for them to go to bed in seperate places, almost across town while being angry at each other. His mother thought him to be a better person and he was failing at it miserably. It was his first time living together with someone and it was different with Yuzuru, his daily life was so packed that occasionally he needed to be taken care of more than a person his age would be. Javier knew all this in advance but let himself be carried away, get comfortable and ignore his own mistakes. Quickly grabbing the car keys, his jacket and wallet, he left the apartment to go and see Yuzuru.

\----

Toronto evening traffic was not kind to him and it took him double the time to pull up at the old apartment Yuzuru lived in. He could see the living room being lit on his floor and swallowed. No backing down now, even if Yuzuru slams the door right back in his face.

\----

Yuzuru did slam the door right back in his face after he opened it and saw it was Javier. 

\----

Javier knocked on the door again and heard a muffled “Go away, I don’t want to fight with you.” from the other side of the door. He sighed and pressed his palm against the surface.

“Listen.. Yuzuru.. I am sorry. Just.. please listen to me even if you do not want to see my face…” He waited for a moment and heard a thud against the door, taking it that Yuzuru leaned against it, staying there to listen. ”I messed up. I was a fucking asshole. I realize that. I was… I know it’s no excuse but the meeting today went bad, the tiny things in the apartment have been bothering me while I know I have been bad at doing my part too. I don’t know what got into me.. it was a stupid reason and I am so sorry for snapping at you. Questioning if this is going to work between us. It is working, it has been the best time of my life. I am so sorry for getting angry at you. I should have seen all the things you have done. I know you try your best. We may get into fights in the future, it comes with sharing a space with someone else. I just… I don’t know what to say. I understand if you want to stay here tonight and let things cool down. I wanted to let you know that I am sorry and I am going to wait back home for you, so we can talk things through. I am sorry… I love you.” Javier pushed himself away from the door and sighed. There was nothing else he could do, so he decided to leave.


	49. #49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier didn’t linger much, not expecting Yuzuru to open the door right away and forgive him instantly. He messed up too bad for that and he actually didn’t want to be forgiven so easily._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV - Fair warning in advance, this week I will have 2 updates from next week onward I will switch to 1 update / week, simply as we are approaching the current season with the writing and I don't want to end up writing something that definitely didn't happen (competitions and placements, jinx things and all that stuff).  
Next updates are as follows: 17th, 22nd, 29th and so forth.

Javier didn’t linger much, not expecting Yuzuru to open the door right away and forgive him instantly. He messed up too bad for that and he actually didn’t want to be forgiven so easily. Last time they cleared the air quickly and things went back to normal but he did hint on something that he shouldn’t have questioned in the first place. He dragged himself up the stairs to his apartment after another long drive back through the city and as soon as he was inside, he walked to the bedroom, dropping face first on the mattress. 

He must have fallen asleep in that position because the next time he woke up it was because the mattress dipped. Javier thought for a second it would be Effie but then felt long fingers brushing through his hair. He let out a small whimper, leaning into the touch. Yuzuru made a soothing noise, pressing a kiss to forehead and Javier felt like crying. He didn’t deserve Yuzuru to be in his life. With a small shifting around they settled on their sides, facing each other and Javier opened his mouth to speak but got silenced by a finger on his lips.

“We speak after sleep…” Yuzuru said and moved closer, Javier welcoming him in his embrace.

“I love you so much…” He whispered before sleep took over him again.

\----

Javier woke up laying alone in his bed and dread settled into his stomach, thinking that Yuzuru returning during the night was only a dream. He buried his face against the pillow, trying to hold back his tears but unable to do so. 

He was really so stupid and even his mind was playing tricks on him.

“Javi?” He sat up so quick he made himself dizzy- Tears were staining his cheeks and making his vision blurry but he did see right, it wasn’t a dream. Yuzuru stood by the door, peeking inside to check on him, probably heard him crying. His eyes narrowed on the tears and he moved instantly, kneeling on the bed, cradling Javiers face in his warm palms.

“You are here...it wasn’t a dream.” Javier croaked, voice catching in his throat on a sob.

“Oh Javi…” Yuzuru whispered then wrapped his arms around him. Javier buried his face against his chest, hugging him close. 

Javier doesn’t know how long they stayed in the position but it must have been long because when he finally calmed down and pulled back so Yuzuru could sit by his side he winced a bit, rubbing at his knee. “Mi amor… I am sorry.. you… I am so sorry…” There were so many things he wanted to say, apologize for, get the record straight but he didn’t know if he could formulate his words correctly. He felt drained after all the crying, which he couldn’t quite explain either. It was a fight, yes, they would have talked at one point but somehow when Yuzuru grabbed his things and left he couldn’t help but think he really fucked up. 

“I… I don’t know what to say aside from how sorry I am for the things I said and how I behaved… I thought you wouldn’t come back to me and I just…” He felt new tears gathering in his eyes and hated to be this weak in front of Yuzuru. Yuzuru touched his cheeks again, brushing away the stains from his cheek. 

“Javi really thought I wouldn’t come back?” Javier nodded slightly. “I am sorry…that wasn’t what I...I was upset and angry. You said a few things and I needed to think but then what you said by the door…” Javier nodded, understanding it all. “I am not good with fights, you know… I tend to walk away because feeling too much all at once and then you asked if this could work at all and I…” Javier swallowed reaching for the others hand, squeezing it and pressing a kiss to his palm as an apology. “We are close to competition and I… I usually get too focused on skating. Mom knows this but you don’t and living with you is different then her. We will do better?” 

Javier nodded his head several times, not exactly trusting his voice right away. “We will. I will be better. I really don’t want to lose you, not over such trivial things. Your skating is important and hell with laundry, I will just wear whatever is left in the wardrobe or go naked.” That made Yuzuru laugh a little bit but his eyes started to shine now too. “I am sorry I hurt you and I really didn’t want to. I shouldn’t let my anger for my own lacking and failures out on you.” Yuzuru nodded and moved forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips and Javier felt a drowning man finally gasping for air at the shore. He moved closer, wrapping his arms around Yuzurus waist, deepening the kiss. The younger let out a small whimper, pressing closer with arms wrapping around his neck. 

The toppled over on the bed, pressed close together and kissing. Javier easily settled between Yuzurus parted legs, feeling how the other wrapped them around his waist. 

“H-habi...make love to me.” Yuzuru gasped between two kisses and Javier moaned at the words, rolling his hips for some friction. He was already half hard from their making out session and he could feel Yuzuru was in the same state. 

Javier took his time, wanting to savour every single moment, slowly peeling off layer and layer of clothes from Yuzuru. The moment a patch of skin was revealed his lips and fingers touched it, mapping out every single dip of muscle. By the time they were both naked Yuzuru was flushed red on his cheeks and chest, whimpering at all the soft and teasing touches. Javier kissed along his chest down to the very neglected erection between his legs. His lips parted and Yuzuru arched from the bed, moaning his name in that delicious high tone, long fingers grabbing onto his hair for support. He didn’t stop until he felt the other spilling down his throat, moaning himself. Yuzuru was panting hard but he gazed down up at Javier with so much emotion in his eyes, he had to swallow to keep his own emotions in check. It was Yuzuru who moved and fetched the lube. Javier expected to have it handed to him but Yuzuru opened the bottle, pouring some of it on his own fingers. The older swallowed now for a whole different reason. 

Javier watched as Yuzuru prepared himself for him, moaning his name and by the time he was done he was hard again. It was a miracle Javier didn’t come himself at the view in front of him. He was about to move on top of Yuzuru again but the younger had a different plan, pushing on his shoulders and making him lay down on his back, straddling his hips. Javier groaned out loud just at the beautiful view.

The moment Yuzuru moved and slowly sank down knocked the air out of him and he had to grab those lucious hips for support. It took all his remaining brain functions not to thrust upwards. Yuzuru had his lips parted and gasping for air, eyes staring at Javier all the while and he moaned when he sat down completely. Javier moved one hand to stroke along his chest and abs, feeling as the muscles twitched and the younger shivered. Then Yuzuru started to move and Javier couldn’t think anymore, it was all about the pleasure and the way the other kept looking at him, biting his lower lip between all the new noises he was making. Javier shifted into a more sitting position, causing both of them to gasp at the new angle and leaned into kiss Yuzuru. 

From then on their movements turned more frantic, chasing their pleasure. Javier reached between then and only needed a few strong strokes to make Yuzuru spill over his fingers and chest. Javier followed a two thrusts later, his whole body shaking at the intensity. It took them a couple of minutes to move, lay down on the bed after Javier made sure to clean them up a little bit. Yuzuru curled up against his chest, pressing a kiss on top of his heart.

“I love you Habi so much.” Javier tightened his hold around the other. “I love you too, always and forever.”


	50. #50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru woke up from a nap he didn’t intend to have but after an almost sleepless night, emotional roller-coaster and then the sex made him feel extremely exhausted._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV. Please remember, from next week onwards updates are coming every Wednesday :)

Yuzuru woke up from a nap he didn’t intend to have but after an almost sleepless night, emotional roller-coaster and then the sex made him feel extremely exhausted. His eyes opened slowly and he found himself facing a still sleeping Javier. He looked a bit better than last night though his eyes still looked puffy even when closed. The fight was something he did not expect to happen, the words coming from Javier and while he knows it was not intended; he had apologized for them countless of time. Not like he was rather perfect himself. There have been some hurdles in their relationship since they moved together and as his mother explained to him last night on the phone it is normal that this happens. But she also told him not to wait too long to clear the air between them, hence why he had returned to their apartment in the middle of the night. 

He knows it was the best decision but what shocked him was how badly Javier himself took it, how insecure and scared he must have been for Yuzuru leaving. That was the last thing he wanted to make him feel, he just needed a bit of distance to clear his own head. Seeing Javier break down in his arms, sobbing and apologizing was a sight he promised not to see again; especially not if he can avoid causing it. Yuzuru loved Javier too much to lose him over some frustrations and a few words not meant to be said. He sighed softly, it was all cleared now and he wasn’t upset with Javier, he just hated to see him so sad and be the reason for it. Slowly he moved away from the bed, careful not to wake up Javier. He tiptoed to the living room, checking the time and groaning. He had to leave for training in an hour, at least he wasn’t late. Yuzuru forgot to set any kind of alarm on his phone. Shaking his head he made sure Effie had food and fresh water, turned on the coffee machine and the kettle so he has hot water for his tea. Then he quickly started on some kind of breakfast or given the time an early lunch. 

He was just about done with their simple avocado and egg toasts when Javier came out of the bedroom, rubbing at his belly and yawning. Yuzuru looked at him, filled a mug with coffee and handed it to him after pressing a kiss to his lips. “Breakfast ready, I take quick shower. Have to leave for training soon.” Javier blinked at the clock on the wall and cursed, making Yuzuru chuckle. “Not late, so it’s good.” With that he hurried to the bathroom, a quick shower, mostly to wash away remains of their activities. His skating bag was packed and ready to go. He dressed while walking back to the kitchen. Javier waited with eating just sipped on his coffee. It made Yuzurus heart jump in his chest at the sweet gesture. 

They ate in comfortable silence and once Javier was done he hurried off to get dressed, ready to drive Yuzuru to his training session. “It is fine… you don’t have to. I can take bus or train.” Javier was not having any of that though, especially not after yesterday and drove Yuzuru to TCC. He didn’t stay though, kissed his cheek in the car in the parking lot, telling him to call if he needs to be picked up. Yuzuru felt a bit bad but Javier didn’t seem like he would accept a no for an answer. With a bit of a heavy heart Yuzuru went to his training, Autumn Classic was close and he still had to work on his jumps.

\----

Javier was in the reception area by the time Yuzuru finished with his sports massage. He called him before going there and let him know that in an hour or so he will done at the club. Javier was wearing a dark shirt, sunglasses and jeans that hugged his legs so well, Yuzuru had to stop for a second to look him all over. A small shiver ran down his spine remembering their morning and how his boyfriend looked under the clothes he wore, though the way they hugged his frame there was barely anything left for the imagination. He had to clear the sudden lump in his throat and ignore the warmth pooling in his stomach. The sound made Javier turned around though and smile so brightly at him, it was a miracle Yuzuru did not drop to the ground. Javier was handsome and with the last night and this morning lingering on his mind, he felt more appreciation for the amazing person and boyfriend he was for him.

Yuzuru approached him and squeezed his hand quickly. “Hey. Thank you for coming to pick me up.” Javier grinned and threw an arm around Yuzuru, whispering  _ ‘Anytime mi amor.’ _ in his ear, making him shiver lightly. 

“I was thinking that maybe if you aren’t that tired we could go out for an early dinner to our favourite place? They have a new veggie burger on their menu that still is okay for your diet and those amazing fries we both love but may not be good for your diet...” Yuzuru hummed, leaning against his side a bit.

“I think I can do that. Legs are a bit shaky… today has been a lot.” He gave a slightly pointed look at Javier seeing color appearing on his cheek when he realized what he meant. “But since we sit, I would love to eat dinner with you. Diet or not, still have time until competition so a bit of cheating is fine. Those fries really good.” With his gear in the trunk they drove to their favourite place, parking close-by. Yuzuru reached for Javiers hand and held it even as they sat down in the restaurant. He knew he didn’t need to worry at these places about people recognizing him, Toronto was not Japan or Sendai. 

Javier ordered two of their new burgers and a double portion of fries. They chatted about his training that day and the struggle he still has with the Lutz and the Salchow. Sometimes the jump was perfect and other times he was making the basic mistakes, it left him frustrated and annoyed. Javier listened to his complains, squeezing his hand a few times when Yuzuru was getting a bit more agitated as he spoke. Yuzuru decided to drop the topic and just move their talk to less upsetting area. The food arrived and it took all his control not to moan at the taste of the burger. 

“Oh my god, this is so good.” He spoke between two bites, making Javier smiles across from him. “Hope they keep on menu.” 

“That would be nice though I am not sure how long our collaboration will go on.” Yuzuru nearly choked on a bite, his eyes widening. “Wait...what?” Javier gave him a sheepish smile and pointed at a sign behind Yuzuru. 

_ “Special menu item for the month of August & September: Vegetarian burger “Mi Amor” created by Javier Fernandez (culinary vlogger)” _ Yuzuru gasped and turned to stare at Javier again.

“You did not tell me!” Javier shrugged a bit. 

“I wanted to surprise you when it was available and they called me after lunch today that they put it on the menu.”

“Oh Habi, this is amazing. Congratulations. This is so yummy. I am so proud.” Not caring about crowds Yuzuru leaned over the table to kiss Javier on the lips. “And the name...” Yuzuru had to swallow to keep his emotions down.

“Yes, it something I wanted to make for you, even if I am not making it. All ingredients are healthy, fresh and fit your diet.” Yuzuru reached for Javiers hand and squeezed it again.

“Thank you.” He didn’t know what else to say to this. They both turned back to their burgers and enjoyed every single bite of it, even if it was difficult to eat for Yuzuru while smiling.


	51. #51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier couldn’t join Yuzuru for ACI for the first day of practices and also the short program, he had an event to attend to in the restaurant for his collaboration._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Javier couldn’t join Yuzuru for ACI for the first day of practices and also the short program, he had an event to attend to in the restaurant for his collaboration. He couldn’t help though to sneak a peek at his phone and Twitter timeline for updates how his boyfriend was doing. Practice appeared to have been fine, just a few issues here and there, nothing he wasn’t familiar with when it came to Yuzurus skating. He also kept in touch with Yumi who did join her son for the competition to check in on his mental state rather than the physical. She informed him that Yuzuru was nervous, a bit more than usual. Not having done media day and the leak about his programs returning from last season has taken the fandom with split opinions. There were the supporters who were excited to see what kind of change he would bring for it but then of course those too who loved to nitpick everything Yuzuru did. Javier had to stop himself on several occasions to clap back at some of the bigger idiots on Twitter.

Quickly shaking those thoughts away he typed a message to Yumi, asking her to let him know when Yuzuru would be back at his hotel, done with the dozen of interviews he has to do even on the first practice day. It ended up being quite late and him almost being done with his event too when the confirmation arrived. Javier didn’t waste a second, quickly excused himself and dialed the number of Yuzuru. The younger picked up after a couple of rings, sighing into the line.

“Hey mi amor. How are you? Legs still attached?” He tried to joke a little but and it worked slightly as Yuzuru did let out a small chuckle. This has become quite a bit of an inside joke after their fight, or more so the day after. 

“Yes, leg still there but not really working as I need. I think Salchow is not going to work.” Javier hummed, well aware of his issues with the jump lately, well even in Saitama and while Yuzuru was working hard to fix the jump, on some occasions it still didn’t work so well. Yuzuru would call it one of his moody jumps that required the right kind of attitude from both of them so it is perfect and the success rate for that was lower than the skater preferred.

“Tomorrow is a new day, you have training, you can see how it goes. You know what to do. I am going to believe in you and watch whenever possibly. I think I can tune in at least for the warm up and your skating.” Yuzuru sighed again followed by some rustling of sheets. Javier guessing he laid down on the bed. 

“I wish Javi was here but I know you have the event, which is important but somehow it feels weird….” Yuzuru admitted and Javier bit down on his lower lip.

“I know. It feels weird for me too but I am going to go for the free, you know that. If all goes well I may be able to meet you after you are done with the short and press. I will do my best to hurry over there.” Yuzuru made an affirmative sound and the silence that followed was comfortable. They don’t always had to speak to understand each other. In the end they chatted a bit about his event, then said their goodbyes. Yuzuru needed rest and Javier had to feed Effie before she would bite off his toes. 

\----

Javier was able to tune in for the warm up, gasping as he himself saw the new Otonal costume for the first time. It was beautiful and he couldn’t wait to tell Yuzuru all about it, or actually see it in person. He could tell there were so many nice details to even on a rather lagging and crappy live-stream. He also noted to himself to maybe upgrade his mobile package to be able to stream anywhere a bit better. Unfortunately for the short program he messed up the timing and he couldn’t tune-in and watch. He had to rely on the posts on Twitter. Javier cursed under his breath as he stared at the top posts of his timeline. 

“4S fall…” Javier had to take a second to look up at the ceiling. That blasted Salchow again. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to see the score because he knew that would give the judges an opportunity to take off from the PCS more than they would for other skaters. In the end he did gather some courage on his part to check the score and he wasn’t all too wrong about it. 98.38. Not too bad but it could have been better. Javier saved himself to look at the protocol not wanting to actually be pissed off about it even further. No instead he soldered through the last hour of his event, then may have broken at least one speed limit in Toronto to get to his apartment. He gave fresh water and food to Effie, then grabbed his back and broke a few more speed limits to get to Oakville in record time. 

Javier found a parking spot at the hotel and speed-walked to the entrance. He already could see some officials and skaters in the Lobby but he just walked past them to the reception desk. Check-in was fast and he messaged Yumi that he was here. She gave him the room number of Yuzuru in return. Javier didn’t even bother to get to his room, it was more so for appearance sake than anything else. At least it was on the same floor as Yuzurus so it wouldn’t be too obvious. Yumi was already waiting in front of the door and smiled at him as he approached. She slipped a second keycard in his hand, patted his shoulder and then excused herself. 

He didn’t know exactly what would await him once he stepped inside the hotel room. There were several reactions Yuzuru could show but mostly a 50-50 chance between anger and tears. Javier inhaled and then swiped the card, slowly stepping inside.

“Mi amor?” He called out in advance, not to scare Yuzuru too much. He slipped his shoes off and walked through the small corridor. As he rounded the small corner he spotted the younger sitting on the bed, eyes fixed on the window in front of him. “Baby?” He called out again and Yuzuru whimpered at that, slowly turning his head to look at him. Javier spotted the tears and crossed the distance between them in a second, pulling the younger in his embrace. Yuzuru clings to him and he cries against his shirt, soaking the material but Javier could care less about that matter. He gently brushes his fingers through his boyfriends hair and whispers soothing words in Spanish in his ear. He may not understand but he knows that Yuzuru loves the sound of the language especially if Javier speaks it. Soon enough he calms down and pulls back to brush away the last stubborn tears. 

“Stupid Salchow.” Yuzuru mumbles with a pout on his lips and Javier has to bite back a smile. He knows from that expression that while he is disappointed, angry and will most likely drill the jump in the upcoming practice he is at least not too upset with himself. Javier reaches out to brush some of his hair behind his ear and Yuzuru looks at him with fondness in his eyes. They don’t really speak for a while instead go about preparing for bed, Javier takes a shower and changes into clothes while Yuzuru arranges for some meal for them via room service. 

With the food gone, Javier making sure Yuzuru finishes his meal completely even if eating during competition is a bit harder on him, they curl up in bed together. Yuzuru presses himself against Javiers side, half laying on top of him. They kiss softly for a few minutes, nothing too passionate both exhausted due to their day. Yuzuru falls asleep first and Javier watches him for a few minutes then drifts off to sleep himself. Tomorrow is a new day and he knows Yuzuru will fight in the free.


	52. #52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _For the day of the free Javier was present, he watched the practice which in retrospect didn’t go as bad but it wasn’t all too good either. It was nice to sit between the fans and heard them discussion about Yuzurus condition, hear some genuine concern from some as he appeared to be a somehow distracted._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV. I would like to take a moment to thank you all for reading and commenting, we are at 10K hits and that is huge for me. Thank you a lot!

For the day of the free Javier was present, he watched the practice which in retrospect didn’t go as bad but it wasn’t all too good either. It was nice to sit between the fans and heard them discussion about Yuzurus condition, hear some genuine concern from some as he appeared to be a somehow distracted. Javier knew it was not that, it was more of a concern regarding how good and clean he has to skate to get the scores he should be getting. It has been a constant battle against the judges and Yuzuru was exhausted. Even with his mistake from yesterday he should have gotten more on the program components. Javier knew the new system will benefit corruption instead of the actual quality of certain skaters. He had to quickly shake those thoughts away because Yuzuru was leaving the ice. Before he could get up from his place and leave as basically half of the crowd started leaving too, he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket.

**“I get sport massage in room when I get back. Then I have to go almost back to arena...if you want you stay for other skating? Vlog?”** Javier understood from the message that Yuzuru needed his space and also he really had a packed schedule. He must have sent the message before going for his mandatory pre free skate media interviews.

**“Okay, I am sticking around. Kind of want to see a few more people. You do what you gotta do. I am going to support. You can do it ♥”** Considering to put his phone away but then decided to take a picture of his view to the ice and post it on his Instagram.

**“New Season, another competition, close to home but everything feels new and a little bit different.”** He added the caption with a smile, slightly cryptic but it was good. With a chuckle he put his phone away, eyes following the zamboni for a second but since he had a bit of time and now the crowd was less decided to go grab himself a coffee.

\----

Javier really did enjoy watching competitions, it felt nice to also look at other disciplines he had been neglecting for the past couple of months and maybe longer since he had spent even more time about mens, as he was dating Yuzuru. They didn’t always talk about his skating in competitions or other skaters and how they were doing but Javier knew that Yuzuru did a lot of research, watched everyone's programs, listened to their music cuts. He didn’t understand why it was necessary for him to watch Nathans Saitama performance so many times over the summer, then his own and scribble into his notebook like a madman. He found it to be a self punishing but sometimes that was how Yuzuru was dealing with his disappointments. What actually surprised him now was how he knew quite a lot more about the skaters in ladies, their programs and jump layouts. 

Not only did Yuzuru watch men programs but ladies and juniors too, which Javier ended up watching or listening to at least as well. His knowledge has become wider in regards of the sport and as he watched people skate he understood more why some of the scoring made no sense at all. GOE being the biggest issue in this sport along with the bullet points for jumps or the basic and generic rule of how to score a fall. Javier sighed, rubbing at his temples for a bit. He had to turn that part of his brain off or he is never going to enjoy skating again. 

Soon enough it was time for the warm up of Yuzurus group and Javier concentrated on his boyfriend. Javier watched him do a circle, some warm ups he always does, the anticipation rising with each second in the arena to see his new costume. People were fidgeting around him and he himself felt excited, mouth feeling dry. He hadn’t seen this one costume either, Yuzuru not allowing him to see it in advance and maybe that is why when he finally zipped down his Team Japan jacket to reveal the purple color, Javier gasped out loud. The crowd grew even louder when he pulled the jacket off completely, turned around to show the front and back to every corner of the arena but still looking casual about it. 

Javier was in love, even from his seat a bit further up he could see the amount of details, the small golden lines, the flowers and the deep shade of purple. It looked magnificent, intriguing and Yuzuru was drop dead gorgeous in it, showing off all his lines. The material looking revealing but not revealing enough. Javier had a hard time controlling his breathing or his fast beating heart. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself but when he opened it Yuzuru skated past his section looking up for a split second, a satisfied half smirk on his lips. Javier wasn’t sure if he wanted to slap his boyfriend for teasing or kiss him breathless. 

With every move Yuzuru made the trillions of stones shined brighter on the costume, making him stand out even more so than usual during the warm up. Javier couldn’t take his eyes off of him, watch him skate, move and breathe in that costume. He easily could admit that it was one of his top favourite costumes from all the beautiful ones Yuzuru had over the years. If last years Origin was gorgeous this was a whole new level. This wasn’t a program or costume to pay tribute with the color and all, it slowly had become Yuzurus. He had seen Yuzuru practice Origin a few times over the summer and seen the subtle changes in movements but he also knows nothing is truly finished with him when it comes to these programs. Yuzuru always finds some way to improve if he ends up picking the same music for more than one season. It may be the same music but never the same program, that is something people do not understand, it simply isn’t taking the same thing and performing it again without any kind of change. 

Javier spends the time until Yuzurus turn thinking about their summer, the past weeks, how much both of them have improved. Yuzuru the most because he had moved in with Javier, he had yet again taken his skating to a different level. As he sits there, Javier realizes how much has changed in a course of a year. Last time he watched ACI he was here as a fan, as someone admiring Yuzurus skating and wanting to see him in person. He made maybe one of his most embarrassing vlogs about it too. This year he is here still as a fan but also he is now dating the one he had admired and crushed on for so long. He never thought that things could change this drastically and thanks the high heavens for giving him a chance in Helsinki. He also would have never expected to learn that Yuzurus guilty pleasure between skating, studies and gaming was to watch his videos of all possibilities; nor that he was having a crush on him, secretly talking via his more than anonymous Instagram account. 

Javier can’t help but chuckle while watching the ice. His life has really changed a lot. Finally he is pulled from his thoughts by a familiar bob of black hair appearing in the skaters entrance, headbanging to one of his anime songs. Javier wiggles a bit in his seat, leaning a bit more forward to see better. Then Yuzuru is on the ice doing a circle before he stops by the boards doing his signature handshakes with his coaches.

Yuzuru crutches down, clasping the boards with two hands, reaches for Poohs head to squeeze it and pushes off as his name is called. Javier forgets to breathe for the next four and half minutes. 


	53. #53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier loved the music, he had heard it a countless of times now and he cherishes it because it is something very important to Yuzuru._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Javier loved the music, he had heard it a countless of times now and he cherishes it because it is something very important to Yuzuru. The details he tries to add with each performance makes it feel more alive. The landings in his first two jumps the loop and salchow could have been better. Javier knows this will involve a few hours of reviewing from Yuzuru later in the evening and maybe the following days as well. Javier clapped along with the audience each time an element was executed and he couldn't help but smirk feeling his heart beat faster at the set of twizzles. It was one of his favourite parts in the program. 

The quad toe got executed beautifully, something he had seen him do often but each time it felt special. Triple Lutz was beautiful and smooth, making him clap and even whoop. The toe combination looked good though as with any element he knew Yuzuru would review it for himself later on. Unfortunately it followed by a not so perfect axel combination due to a lean in the axel landing but nothing he hadn't seen from others - or worse. The second combination was perfect though and his chest filled with pride. 

Javier let out a breath with all the jumps were completed and only thing left were spins and choreo. The crowd was screaming at the top of their lungs and Javier joined in. He was proud of Yuzuru, it was a good skate for the first competition. What did make him worry slightly was how tired and extremely fatigued Yuzuru appeared after the music stopped. He struggled to stand up and Javier wished he could just go out there and pull him against his chest, tell him how proud he was. For now it was not the time or place to do something that dramatic, he will do it later on when they are back to the safety and privacy of their own apartment. 

A few Poohs landed on the ice and several fans shook their heads in disappointment. There were clear rules against that at this competition but Javier quickly brushed that tiny thing aside, following Yuzuru to the boards with his eyes until he couldn't see him and had to wait for the Kiss and Cry camera to be turned on. When it did the crowd greeted him with screams and Yuzu smiled. Lovely, beautiful and strong as ever. 

Minutes passed and the excitement died down a bit though Yuzuru was smiling and laughing with his coaches, possibly talking about a few of his mistakes. Javier on the other hand started to become more suspicious how long the judges were taking to give Yuzuru his score. With other skaters they were much faster and given the past season he started to have a bad feeling. He received his confirmation soon after, frowning at the low score and especially at the pcs. He wasn't the only one, Yuzu dropped his smile and looked confused as well, turning to Brian to ask something. The fans around him were also looking at each other wondering why such a low score. 

The announcement concluding the Men's event cut his musings and he clapped for Yuzuru winning. Preparations for the flower ceremony started and Javier used that time to check the protocols. While he generally likes to avoid details the free score bothered him too much and he needed to know. 

"Under??" He spoke the words out loud and slowly the shock and anger of fans around him rose as well. Everyone was glued to their phone so Javier knew they were staring at the same thing. He was furious, the single quad was definitely not under and maybe in the combination it could be questioned but the triple with the axel was like butter. They really threw in some phantom calls and made sure to drop his performance score as well. Javiers free hand clenched into a fist so hard he felt his short nails digging into his skin. This was ridiculous. It took all his composure not to go and find the judges but calm down. He would see Yuzuru sooner or later and he needs support now and not an angry boyfriend on a rampage against judging. The term saved by the bell came to mind when the melody for the medal ceremony started. Good. He needed some cute distraction. 

\----

Javier clapped along to the audience feeling proud of Keegan and Kevin to be on the podium, both of them having done well but he felt the proudest for the person who was announced as the winner of the gold medal. Yuzuru looked happy though with a layer of a mask that showed he was not completely feeling that on the inside. He bowed to each side of the rink and Javier knew he did not imagine locking eyes with his boyfriend for a second. His cheeks were hurting from smiling so much. He saw how Yuzuru admired the flowers again and took a mental note to start giving him some of his own occasionally because he knew how much he loved flowers and plants. 

A little confusion followed when nobody could spot another Japanese flag during the anthem but out of all the people Keegan was the fastest to think and reached for the one behind Yuzuru. Javier mentally thanked the skater for such a nice gesture. Also maybe to tweet about it later on, it wouldn't take him much time and maybe Keegan would appreciate his actions were well received and thanked for. Javier may have zoned out for a moment as the photo session took place but didn't miss the small waddle Yuzuru did here and there finding the right position for the cameras. He was his usual self albeit still muted. It was nothing compared to Helsinki last year where he was all smiles and light steps. 

The shenanigans of the victory ceremony took their peak moment when Keegan took the flag and started to skate around with it. Yuzuru was close to follow laughing out loud with head thrown back. Javier couldn't help but take a video of their impromptu flag ceremony in the middle of the ice, knowing he would post it with some lovely words about the competition later on his Instagram. All too soon the ceremony was over, Yuzuru screaming his signature 'thank you' to the crowd and vanishing from their sight. 

Javier knew he had time now, Yuzuru would spend at least an hour or two doing press so when the crowd started to leave he didn't hurry. Once it was more clear and easy to move he got up from his seat too, returning to the hotel first. Yuzuru still had things to pack and maybe he would want to shower before Javier drives them back. Yumi would be coming over for dinner as well and Javier spent the time waiting with updating his social media, looking at his channel and some of them content he did record. He may be able to post a short recap at least if not a full vlog. 

He was busy liking some tweets about the competition and saving some of the fan pictures when the hotel room opened and Yuzuru nearly fell inside. 

"Welcome back my champion." Javier greeted opening his arms after standing and catching his boyfriends weight as he fell into his arms. "You did well today." He heard a whine at that but shushed Yuzuru before he went on his rant about scores or his mistakes. They could do that later. "Do you want to take a shower? I can pack everything up. Where is your mom?" 

"Yes, a quick one. She packing and coming here soon. So we can leave. You really want to drive? Not tired?" Javier chuckled. 

"I didn't skate, I just sat there. I am going to be fine. It's a short drive." Yuzuru nodded then proceeded to take off his clothes, grab some clean ones and banish in the bathroom. But before he did that he leaned in to kiss Javier making him smile. 


	54. #54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier expected it but it still made him struggle to deal with a Yuzuru who was now obsessed with fixing all his mistakes from ACI._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Life is a real bitch, motivation and muse too but I mean I tried to bring something even if delayed. Sorry and thank you!

Javier expected it but it still made him struggle to deal with a Yuzuru who was now obsessed with fixing all his mistakes from ACI. He was in the kind of headspace where even at home he was hunched over his PC and if he wasn’t doing his mandatory coursework he was reviewing performance after performance. He also spent an incredibly long amount of time to watch other programs from Juniors to Seniors, Ladies or Men. Javier even caught him watch Pairs and Ice Dance scribbling down notes about steps or jumps. Unless it was time to eat or when Effie had enough and demanded a bit of attention, Yuzuru barely gave Javier a second glance. It may be excedurating because they did talk sometimes, mostly about keeping the apartment in order, groceries and meal prep but their last proper date was them enjoying the burger and that was almost two weeks ago. No movie night to relax, only skating and training. Yumi had warned Javier shortly after ACI that this could happen and he shouldn’t take it to heart, just that Yuzuru sometimes forgot anyone else around him. Javier understood but he still missed hugging and kissing his boyfriend for more than a small greeting.

Javier placed his head on the counter, unable to concentrate on editing or replying to any of his work E-mails. It has been so busy but he couldn’t stop thinking about Yuzuru and how to bring him out of this head-space. He felt that just leaving him be would not be a solution especially given how badly it was wearing him down at this point. With another sigh he straightened up in his chair and closed his laptop. He would rather make a pot of coffee instead of looking at another inquiry for an event colliding with Skate Canada. Yuzuru cancelled the invite to Japan Open a while ago so at least for that he did not have to find some kind of free weekend. His channel was picking up, a good numbers of sponsors have contacted him and he even has events to attend. Javier felt happy his hard work was paying off but he certainly did not like the idea of neglecting his boyfriend, his own hobby of enjoying figure skating along with actually attending the competitions. 

End of October for Skate Canada and a month later NHK, two weeks after the Final, it would be challenging to fit it in but Javier had been working on that since before the season started. If he has to take some dip into his earnings to be there for Yuzuru, he would rather do that. ACI already has shown the judges won’t make the season easy for Yuzuru and the last thing he wants is being separated from him in case he is needed to be around. With a groan he hit the button on his coffee machine the familiar sound of it soothing his mind a little bit. Yuzuru was at training and would be back in an hour, Yumi driving him so Javier did not have to get going to pick him up in the club. He had to do something though, this couldn’t just continue on for the rest of the season. Taking his phone he messaged Yumi asking for advice about a random plan that could just as well get him sliced by skates if Yuzuru doesn’t like it. She replied in a few minutes telling him that she will support him. With a smile Javier opened his laptop again, looking for some nice Airbnbs in the area.

\----

As everyone expected it Yuzuru was not pleased when he got told that he would be taking a 4 day long trip with Javier to a rather relaxing cabin in the Canadian woods. He came with the usual complains of how he cannot afford himself to take a break now, how he needs to train his jumps more, even said he would be doing spins more often than ten minutes a week. But neither Yumi or Javier were having it, they even spoke with Brian, Tracy and Ghislain and they all gave their written approval of a small break. Yuzuru ended up sulking in the bedroom after dinner and not speak to Yumi or Javier unless it meant saying goodbye to her as she would use this time to get a few things organized. 

In the end he did pack a bag of all the things he would need but he kept on sulking until they went to bed, then he did cuddle closer to Javier. Javier wrapped his arms around him.

“It will do you good, I promise and if you really don’t want to stay there, we will come back.” He promised and soon both fell asleep holding each other.

\----

After a nice breakfast and making sure Effie would be taken for by Yumi for the next couple of days, they hopped into Javiers car. The drive was smooth aside from a short traffic jam in the city and about three hours later he parked in front a cabin. Yuzuru offered to take care of their bags while Javier carried in the groceries they stocked up on, on the way there. Some things he even bought from home as he found it rather wasteful to buy it again, in case they don’t eat it he would need to take it back and who knows what would happen with the items already in his fridge. The place was a single room cabin, a loft separating the bedroom from the rest of the place. It had all the basics they would need, very cozy and it took only a few minutes to get the fire going to warm it up. 

With the place now warm, their bags stored away from out of sight, Javier turned to the kitchen. “What do you say about a light lunch? Breakfast was a while ago…” Yuzuru hummed and nodded. 

“Yeah, something small. I will make tea and coffee…” He offered and they both got to work. Javier decided to make a small spread with bread, cheese and cherry tomatoes. Yuzuru filled two mugs with their drinks and they sat down at the two person table. 

“Do you like it? It is not too big but… private.” Yuzuru swallowed one of the cherry tomatoes he had been chewing, then smiled. 

“It is pretty, warm and really nice. I just… I thought on the drive here and the longer we went from training, I think… I understand now why everyone wanted me to rest for a few days. I am sorry… I haven’t been easy lately.”

Javier reached over to touch Yuzurus hand and squeezed it. “Judging hasn’t been fair lately, you want to show people the best. I know how important skating is for you. I knew what I signed up for though I won’t lie it hasn’t been easy sometimes. Especially when you close yourself up completely and do not even talk to me about what is going on inside your head. You know you can tell me anything and listen if it helps you to just rant off in Japanese because you do not have to thing about grammar, than that is fine as well.” Yuzuru turned his hand so he could link their fingers together.

“I know. I am sorry. I am still working on how to open up about these things.” Javier smiled at him. 

“I know that too. But for now we should finish this food and I was thinking of maybe exploring the area before it gets too dark? I could use a bit of walk after the drive.” Yuzuru perked up at that and popped another tomato in his mouth. 

“Hai.” 

\----

Getting dressed again for the slightly chilly air in the woods, they made their way outside, hand in hand as they did not need to fear to be seen by anymore. Javier knew that somewhere behind the cabin there would a small waterfall and he lead the way towards it. Yuzuru gasped in surprise as soon as he saw it and let go of his hand to get closer. 

“So pretty… you knew it here?” Javier nodded stepping beside a now crouching Yuzuru. 

“Yeah, the owner of this place told me that this would be here. I thought you would like it. Not a lake or something but at least not just woods.” Yuzuru stood up and wrapped his arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Thank you, Habi. For everything.”


	55. #55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _After their walk the two returned to the cabin making sure to have enough wood inside so neither has to step out in the middle of the night to keep the place warm._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV, maybe it's Wednesday somewhere in the world? idk... life is challenging... anyway. Enjoy!

After their walk the two returned to the cabin making sure to have enough wood inside so neither has to step out in the middle of the night to keep the place warm. Their shower was rather small and while they attempted to shower together one elbow too much in his side later Javier gave up and let Yuzuru shower first then did the same. The small space did not stop the younger though from waiting with the big fluffy towel for him and cuddling up to him to wrap them both in it. It really did nothing much to the fact they were still slightly wet but Javier is not going to stop his boyfriend from doing this. His warm palm settled on small and soft hips, pulling him even closer if that was possible, kissing his lips.

Soon the towel was forgotten, Yuzuru pressed against the bathroom wall, moaning Javier's name in the way that he loved to hear so much. It wasn't too gracious, hands working quick but it was enough to bring some of the edge off, with which they have been struggling for a while now. If they had to take a quick shower again, neither of them complained.

\----

Not being hungry so shortly after their afternoon snack they made some fresh drinks for themselves, got the fire going again to make it warmer; then settled on the couch, leaning against each other. Yuzuru made sure to message everyone that they arrived safely and he won't be checking his messages or answering calls now. They happy replies for his absence made him sulk for a few minutes.

"Was I this bad?" He asked with a pout. Javier made sure to kiss it away.

"Just a bit. They are happy you are resting. That is good. Do you want to watch something? A movie?" He asked and Yuzuru nodded, eyes lighting up. Javier knew what that meant. "Let me guess... It's not a movie you want to watch... Tokyo Ghoul?" Yuzuru smiled brighter, his eyes shining and Javier sighed. They have seen all the episodes at least four times since they were living together. "Okay. Bring your laptop which I know you packed but if you look at any skating video during our stay I am tossing it into the woods." Yuzuru jumped up faster from the couch than Javier could blink, hurrying to the backpack he left in a corner to retrieve his laptop. It required some rearranging to get comfortable and still be able to see the laptop screen but they were ready and Yuzuru started the very first episode with English subtitles, making sure Javier does understand what is happening. Though at this point he was fairly certain he could recite each line by heart in a language he has little comprehension of. 

A couple of hours later and definitely half a season after, the two decided to make it to bed, it was late and when Yuzuru yawned for the third time under five minutes, Javier stopped their little anime viewing session. 

“Come on, time for bed.” Yuzuru albeit complaining he did get up from the couch and managed to climb up into the loft bed without breaking anything. Javier prayed he was awake enough for that but all went well and he could sigh in relief when they both were settled in under the covers. Yuzuru instantly plastered himself to his side, face buried against his neck. Javier kissed his forehead and whispered ‘good night’ only needing a few minutes to fall asleep as well.

\----

Javier woke up to the smell of fresh coffee and toast. He blinked his eyes open and then realized the bed was empty beside him, the sheets where Yuzuru laid before now cold. He must have been awake for a while. Stretching a bit to get some of his muscles back on track he climbed down from the bed, covering a yawn. Yuzuru was sitting by the table a book in hand and his notebook by his side. Javier was happy to see he wasn’t secretly watching more videos. 

“Good morning.” He mumbled, pressing a kiss to his boyfriends head then promptly making his way to the coffee machine to pour himself some. He snatched one of the toasts on a plate, still warm and he hummed. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Yuzuru watched him with amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Did I sleep that long?” Javier frowned glancing at the clock on the wall but it was still only 8 a.m, which wasn’t really unusual wake up time for him. “How long have you been awake?”

“Just an hour or so. I woke up to sounds of some birds and then I couldn’t go back to sleep. I decided to make some toast, tea and get your coffee going then I took out my book. I have an assignment in a week, only read third of book….” He smiled sheepishly. Javier chuckled, so another last minute assignment, which he will nail anyway. 

“Do you want me to make some eggs and maybe some rice?” Yuzuru nodded at that.

“Yes, please.” Javier took a sip from his coffee, closing his eyes for a moment, appreciating the taste also taking note of how good of a coffee Yuzuru was making at this point.

“Okay, you read another chapter or so and I make a full breakfast but when that is done, you set that aside so we eat, okay?” Yuzuru agreed, quickly turning back to his book, eyes going over the lines with increased speed. “Cute.” Javier mumbled under his breath then got to work.

\----

As promised, Yuzuru put his book away the moment Javier announced the food was ready, helping him to set the table and fill up their mugs with warm tea and coffee. While eating they caught up on a few things they have been both neglecting, mostly to ask about each other's well being. While they do live together, Yuzuru was more closed up and Javier had not really shared extremely lot since there was no instance to do so but now they fixed that. He also knew how bad Yuzuru still felt for being distant but Javier shrugged it off. He understood even if it’s not easy sometimes.

Together they did the dishes, made sure to get the fire going again, so the cabin was warm to walk around without socks. Yuzuru threw himself on the fluffy rug in front of the fire with his book again and Javier took out one he was struggling to find time to read. For a few hours they have enjoyed the silence only disturbed by the sound of crackling fire. Around 2 p.m Javier got up to get their stew going, Yuzuru wordlessly joining him to help, cutting up the vegetables in bigger chunks. Something they do occasionally and he also uses the time to teach Yuzuru a thing or two in the kitchen. Cooking is Javiers passion and the fact he can share it not just with videos with someone he loves, fills his heart with warmth. Also amused given how he knows Yuzuru had watched those before they even met each other. 

“Do you think I should do this on my channel? I haven’t done a stew recipe in a while and it is getting into season, with how the cold is approaching.” Yuzuru tapped his lip with a finger, thinking.

“I think it’s good idea. I like your stews. I make mom cook on a long time ago. We both liked a lot. I think you should.” He offered with a smile and Javier couldn’t help but kiss him shortly.

“Okay and maybe one day we can do a surprise cooking video together. People may stop teasing you online about how you could set fire to a kitchen if left alone. You aren’t that bad anymore.”

“Javi… I burn toast once!!” Yuzuru whined but then bit his lip. “Maybe we can do it, in the future. I would like to.” Javier smiled even brighter, happy to hear it was something Yuzuru would love to do, even if he knew this wouldn’t happen while he was still competing but it gave him hope for some nice videos on his channel in the future. 

“Can you hand me the potatoes?” He held out his hand so Yuzuru placed the bowl of neatly chopped carrots in his hand. “I will need the carrots after.”

“Yes, Sir.” Yuzuru said making both of them laugh.


	56. #56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Their little getaway ended faster than Yuzuru really wanted it. While he did complain about missing precious training in the end he had realized that it was a good choice._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

Their little getaway ended faster than Yuzuru really wanted it. While he did complain about missing precious training in the end he had realized that it was a good choice. He felt relaxed and actually slept well after a week of long nights. He even got some of his assignment done, if not completely all of it. The short walks in the woods helped to clear his mind and he was more prepared for the upcoming competition than any training could make him feel this. 

For a long time now but especially after this week he had realized how precious and important Javier had become for him. It seems like he always knows what to say or do and Yuzuru is not sure if he is giving Javier the much needed appreciation and love he deserves for his efforts. He wonders if he is being a good boyfriend at all, since he still struggles with the idea of opening up about some things that he would usually keep away to himself, not even disclosing with his mother who had been with him in a foreign country for so many years. He takes out his phone to put something in his notes, making sure to get some research done when his time will allow again, he has to pay Javier back somehow in return. Yuzuru barely manages to close the app before Javier walks up to him, brushing a few strands of hair behind his ear.

“You ready? Packed everything that we have bought with us?” Yuzuru nods, his bag and backpack standing by the door, ready to return to their home in Toronto. “Good, I think I cleared all our things from the kitchen as well and did some cleaning up too. If you are ready we can go, maybe we can avoid some bigger traffic.” Javier taps his chin, probably doing some calculation about their route, Yuzuru has to bite his lip for a second.

“We could...or we get use of this place for an hour or two more…” He hooks a finger in one of the loops on Javiers jeans, to pull him closer. Javier raises a brow at him, expression a bit confused.

“What do you have in mind?” Yuzuru smirks and with a yank he makes Javier tumble down on the couch he has been sitting, then promptly climbs in his lap. “Oh…” Javier let’s out a surprised breath but his lips already form a smirk. “I think Toronto can wait a little longer-” He barely gets to finish the sentence because Yuzuru is already kissing him, hands cupping his cheeks.

\----

It’s early evening when they finally arrive back in their apartment, getting all their things unpacked. Yuzuru gets onto the laundry while Javier prepares a light meal for them and makes sure Effie is not too upset with them for having been gone for a few days. She seems to be okay aside from her usual crankiness. By the time the soup is finished, Yuzuru appears from their bathroom with a pile of fresh clothes, quickly getting the hanger out to let them dry in an empty spot in the living room. Dinner is quick, as both of them are a bit exhausted from the travel. Having enjoyed a few more hours in the cabin ended up them being stuck in traffic for a few hours but neither of them really complained about it, no, instead they shared some quick looks and laughter. 

Yuzuru offered Javier to shower first while he packs his bag for training the next day, then he quickly rinsed himself off as well. It must have been only a few minutes but when he stepped into their bedroom, Javier was already asleep. With a soft smile on his lips, he carefully slipped under the covers and snuggled close to his boyfriend. 

\----

The remaining time to Skate Canada flies by quickly but Yuzuru feels good, he is prepared and relaxed, he did not work himself into some kind of sprain or injury because he was obsessing over things he knows he can do well. Most days it’s his mind that stops him from executing elements the way he wishes it. Too strong image, too much expectation from himself under any kind of circumstances. Their little trip away from the city though helped me flip a switch to calm those thoughts and he really is incredibly thankful to everyone around him, the support of his Team, mom and most importantly Javier. 

Stepping into the arena in Kelowna does leave him with a bit of nervous energy as this is a competition he had not yet won and his desire to finally get a gold medal here is there but also he knows he has his programs down, if his mind is on top of the game he is going to have a good competition. He knew Yumi and Javier would be in the arena, having separated in the hotel well in advance and while his mother would come to him sometimes, just to make sure everything was okay, that he got his accreditation and all of his belongings were there, Javier remained in the arena. Yuzuru knew that he was there and when he stepped on the ice for his very first practice he couldn’t help but look around for the area where he knew he would be sitting. It was only a few seconds, nothing fans would pick up on but he spotted Javier in his green puffy jacket and a warm scarf around his neck. Yuzuru had to bite back a small smile, quickly averting his gaze to the ice. He had a training to do. 

\----

At the end of his training, Yuzuru felt fairly confident, it went well given a few minutes he would need to adjust maybe in the next one. Origin run-through was fine as well. Yuzuru kept his calculations going especially given his layout and as usual some of the jumps weren’t really going well but nothing he had not experienced lately under competition pressure. In training back at the club, things go smoother and he knows it’s all about his mental strength and nerves, he will get himself together when it is important. Brian always used to say to him that a practice or training can go wrong as long he pulls it together when it counts.

Yuzuru is familiar with that, happened to him often, he remembers his warm up at the Olympics where the Salchow didn’t want to work but in the end, in the program, when it counted the most he landed he jumps. That is how he should go towards this too and will. 

As usual after his practice he was asked to give at least a dozen of interviews, nothing he wasn’t used to either at this point. Though sometimes he did envy the other skaters who could just give a few short comments if any at all and return to their hotel room to rest, charge up for the competition or actually go out and sight-see. Yuzuru could neither of those, not in the extend he sometimes wished. Nevertheless he answered all the repetitive questions with patience and a smile until he was finally released from the clutches of the media. Yumi was waiting for him with a car to drive him back, informing him once they drove off and no camera was actually filming him anymore that Javier had returned to the hotel in advance and would wait for him in his room.

Yuzuru smiled and nodded, feeling an all new kind of excitement, his fatigue temporarily forgotten. As said my Yumi, Javier was indeed in his room, sitting on the bed, propped up against the headboard with his laptop in his lap. Yuzuru dropped his luggage as fast as he could and then jumped on the bed, pressing himself against Javiers side. Yuzuru let out a content sigh, feeling more than hearing the low chuckle from the other. Javier closed the laptop and without dislodging Yuzuru he put it on the bedside table.

“Escaped the media well?” Yuzuru felt fingers brushing through his hair making him hum.

“It was the usual, today less. After short it will be bad… it will be hours before I return.” Yuzuru looked up at Javier, pouting.

“Don’t worry, I will just stay and watch a few more competitions. Perks of an all event pass. My boyfriend spoiled me again. You just let me know when you are free and on your way back here,okay?” Yuzuru buried his face against his chest, nodding against it.


	57. #57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _On the day of the short program, Yuzuru felt even more nervous than the day before but tried to hide it behind his well-constructed mask for the media._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, I am alive, I am really sorry for not updating for a long time... I think at least two weeks but muse was down, also life came in between. It has been a bit rough and didn't find the energy or time to do my research for the chapters. Hopefully I am going to have a bit more time but idk if I can keep the weekly update thing. Definitely will continue posting on Wednesdays though. Hope you all understand and all of you stay safe in the current situations around the world. Please watch out for yourself and your loved ones. ♥

On the day of the short program practice, Yuzuru felt even more nervous than the day before but tried to hide it behind his well-constructed mask for the media. Wherever he was looking, cameras were pointing in his face and while he was used to it, he wished that sometimes maybe they would just let him be a normal athlete doing his warm up and not some kind of star, who’s each movement has to be recorded. Taking a deep breath, he selected his usual warm up music, turned up the volume a little bit and got to work. Brian and Ghislain close-by to watch but they hardly gave him any advice on how he should warm up, they have been working long enough together to how they each work. They also had other skaters to look after; Yuzuru was not their only student at this competition after all.

Before he knew it, Ghislain signaled for him that it was time to pack his things up and go rink-side. His group would have practice time in a couple of minutes. Like a well-oiled machine, they all got moving and he was standing by the boards, listening to his music, trying to distract himself from any other noise before practice. Yuzuru saw from the corner of his eyes how Brian strapped Pooh to the boards, which always made him smile given how the relationship of the two really started.

Yuzuru takes it his headphones and hands them over to Ghislain who safely stores it away from him, and then he approaches the gate to enter the ice. He loves this moment a lot, where his own anticipation to step on the ice helps him ignore the thousand and more eyes on him. He steps on the ice, bends over to greet it, something he will not stop doing as long as he can, skates to Brian to hand him his guards and starts his warm up. The ice feels good, he feels at home again, the pressure for good results still there but also it is something he loves doing. The announcer says his name and he raises his arms to greet the audience, a trill going through his body at the screams. He knows most of the audience is here to see him; he loves it, appreciates it and promises to himself and everyone watching that he will do a good performance.

For the first couple of minutes he only did his exercises, getting his body warmed up completely. After a while, Yuzuru made his way towards his coaches, exchanging a few words to have an understanding for what he is going to do next. Then he spotted Tracy and bowed to her, sending her a cheeky smile. It was nice to have all his coaches present even if Tracy wasn’t going to spend time by the boards with him due to her work.

Yuzuru tried not to groan at how he fell on his first combination attempt. Something that has been giving him issues in his short program for a while. It was frustrating how the jump simply didn’t want to work out. He caught Ghislains expression, his jump coach also not quite understanding why his usually perfect combination was giving his so much trouble. Shaking some bad thoughts aside Yuzuru smiled as he approached his coaches. On his way to them he glanced at the section where he knew Javier would be sitting and caught his eyes. They exchanged a quick smile and it helped Yuzuru to relax again. He could do this.

\----

As the minutes of his practice time ticked away and he had more bad jumps than good ones, he started to feel agitated. It was not like him to have so many issues in one practice. His mind was racing with calculations, what could be the issue; maybe one being that he was too occupied thinking. Sometimes his mind could take the best of him.

\----

Yuzuru felt satisfied with his run-through, he landed all his jumps even if he wasn’t perfectly happy with the quality of them. At least he wasn’t popping of falling when it counted. Afterwards he approached his coaches for a longer discussion, mood better, laughing and smiling. This was the kind of mood he wanted to enjoy a competition and somewhat missed after the Olympics. He also used those moments to glance at Javier and find his mom in the crowd too, who to his surprise was now sitting next to Javier. It wasn’t something he had not seen at other competitions before but the two were exchanging a couple of words as well, smiling. Yuzuru had to shake his head to get back to his actual practice and listen to what his coaches were saying. He did take a mental note to ask Javier later in the privacy of their hotel room about that.

\----

As Yuzuru had expected, he barely stepped off the ice he already had the media wanting to ask him questions. He lost track of time and number of questions he had to answer. When the last reporter was gone, he finally checked his phone only to see it has been two and half hours since his practice session ended. With a sigh, he quickly sent a message to Javier that he would be leaving soon. A few seconds later, he got a reply, saying that Javier would be on his way back to the hotel; with some well-deserved food for Yuzuru. He had to bite his lip to hide his smile in case someone was still watching him.

\----

Somehow, Yuzuru arrived in the hotel room before Javier did so he decided to take a shower and already change into his pajama clothes; he was in the middle of some light stretching exercises when the sound of the door unlocking made him stop. For some reason, he held his breath watching Javier shoulder his way in, carrying some bags deliciously filling the air with the aroma of food.

“Sorry…sorry… I am a bit late but it is kind of madness out there.” Javier said, placing their food on the table then stopping in front of Yuzuru, holding out his hand. Yuzuru took it with a smile and pressed a kiss to his lips the moment they were eye-level.

“Hi.” He breathed, making Javier chuckle but his arms wrapped around his waist to keep him close.

“Hi.” They stared at each other for a couple of minutes, just enjoying the closeness and privacy but the loud noise both their stomachs made caused them to separate. “Okay, time to eat. I was getting food but the line was long and the wait even longer. I hope everything is still warm enough to eat.” Javier explained, dutifully arranging all the containers and giving Yuzuru some plastic utensils. “I found this great place online, they make their dishes with local produce. I asked for some vegetable soup, fish and some rice for you. I think we even had some roasted vegetables somewhere in one of the boxes.”

Yuzuru reached for Javiers hand, stopping him in his rambling. “Thank you.” He said with a smile on his face, something he always has on his face when he is with his boyfriend. “For everything, not just the food but all.” Javier leaned down and pressed a kiss to his nose, making him giggle.

“You’re very welcome. Now…time to eat, then you have to get to bed on time.” Yuzuru rolled his eyes at that.

“Mom tell you?” Javier sat down and nodded. “Yes, I take my duties as a boyfriend seriously. I sat with her today in the arena and we chatted a bit. It was nice actually.” Yuzuru smiled even brighter.

“I saw, makes me happy you get along.” Javier pushed the container of soup in front of him, which he gladly took, the food smelling good.

“We do, she is an amazing woman and she cares for you. I want to make sure I live up to her expectations and while I am here, I know she takes a step back in taking care of you. So it’s important for me to be the best.” Yuzuru reached over the table to take Javiers hand, squeezing it.

“You are the best.” Javier nodded, his cheeks turning slightly red before they both turned to their food.


	58. #58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier loved watching Yuzuru perform and while his practices may have not all went okay; his short program itself was one to see._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Javier loved watching Yuzuru perform and while his practices may have not all went okay; his short program itself was one to see. He looked determined in the warm up, going through some of his jumps just as usual. Every member of his Team but mostly Yuzuru was worried about his combination, it hasn’t been the best this season and somehow he couldn’t find the cause of it. Javier felt more nervous watching Yuzuru wait to have his name called than he had been during the Olympics, where he came out of nowhere with a possibly not healed injury to skate. That was nerve-wracking but today, it was completely different.

Javier held his breath when Yuzuru gave the cue to his music and got into position, until he moved for the first time. There was determination written all over his face but also so many other emotions he knew about, right beneath the mask he wore in public. By now, he could see through it and Yuzuru was nervous as well. He worried about his jumps the most and until the last one was landed, he knows Yuzuru is not going to feel relaxed at all.

The first jump, the quad Salchow that gave him some issues in the past, landed beautifully and smooth like butter and Javier screamed with the audience together. Every movement was beautiful, strong but also delicate. Javier knows how much work goes into moving on the ice this way, his unique way. Only Yuzuru can show strength and softness on the ice all at once. He feels tears welling up in his eyes and he doesn’t know why, he feels so many emotions all at once, it is incredible how Yuzurus skating can still make him feel these things, regardless of how many times he had seen him on ice. Javier knows that each time is significantly different from the other, tiny changes that may slip someones mind but are there and make the programs more complete. Like how he moves into his triple Axel and literally soars. Two jumps landed, so beautifully he wonders if anyone can do these jumps better than he did. Of course, he remembers for a split second some of the scores others get for less complete and beautiful jumps but he brushes that quickly aside. To him, Yuzuru is a master of his jumps, all of them to a quality level nobody should be able to just get close to.

Javier puts his hand together in a silent prayer for the combination that is meant to come soon, he needs Yuzuru to land it, to have a perfect skate, or something close to it. Get back some of the confidence he has lost in his skating and judging overall. He needs him to be rewarded for all the blood, sweat and tears he puts into skating. And then Yuzuru lands it, a bit wobbly for the second jump, which they will use to cut his GOE for sure but he landed all the jumps and Javier let’s out a breath. He catches from the corner of his eyes how Yumi also deflates in her seat, relieved the worse of the program is over. Now its steps and spins, which Yuzuru can do in his sleep but they are breathtaking each time he does them. As usual, right before he finishes his spin and begins his step sequence the crowd gradually increases in volume. It is a phenomenon that happened from the start, the anticipating of seeing Yuzuru throw himself into the remaining of his program.

Yuzuru is shining, he is doing it all with reckless abandon making Javier admire him even more if possible. He is beautiful until he misses a cluster and Javier snorts. In that exact moment, Yuzuru smiles as well, realizing his mistake. Javier knows it won’t get him a level 4 and he already looks forward to the complains his boyfriend is going to make for such a stupid mistake. The music stops and Yuzuru seems to be checking his costume while turning around. Javiers eyes zero down on the back and he sees it. A costume malfunction, or there seems to be a rip in the middle of all those carefully placed ruffles. Yumi chuckles next to him and Javier can’t help it either in the midst of clapping his hands like a madman.

Javier catches from the corner of his eyes something big and yellow and burst out laughing. It’s probably the biggest Pooh bear he had seen in his life. He hopes Yuzuru will see it as well, because it will amuse him too. Yuzuru makes his way towards his coaches at the same time and Javiers expression softens. The trust and display of admiration from all parties visible on their faces.

Waiting for the scores feels like an eternity, both excited to see good scores and worried that the judges will nitpick on something, so to not give a good one to him. When the announcer finally says the scores and it appears on the jumbotron, Javier let’s out another breath he had been holding.

109.60. Seasons Best.

Yuzuru looks happy, possible relief washing over him as well for being rewarded for his effort. He lingers with the coaches for a while in the Kiss and Cry then vanishes behind the curtains, leaving Javier to watch the remaining competition, which he enjoys.

In the end nobody can catch up to his score and Yuzuru remains to be in first place after the short program, the arena slowly becoming empty as the fans are leaving. Javier is in no hurry, neither is Yumi, they let the crowd leave to have an easier time to exit too. Yumi makes her way backstage knowing Yuzuru is possibly busy with the media but would make sure he is released at a decent time. Javier leaves to get them something to eat again and return to the hotel after.

\----

Javier sets up the table but leaves the lids on their take-away boxes to ensure the food stays warm. To his surprise Yuzuru is back in his room quite early and he wonders if maybe he was taking a long time with their food, hence why they are back at almost the same time. Javier shrugs turning to welcome his boyfriend warmly. Yuzuru falls against him with as little grace as possible and clings to him.

“109.60. Good. Good score. I am happy.” He mumbles against his shoulder and Javier agrees.

“You were great, though that cluster was a bit funny.” Yuzuru groans, pulling back to hide his face in his hands.

“Tracy gave me lecture later… I will have to train that again, she was not happy.” Javier laughs and runs his hand through his dark hair.

“It’s fine, you can do it better another time. “ Yuzuru nods, presses a kiss to his lips then eyes the food waiting for him. “Come on, you must be hungry. Got something good today too.” Yuzuru shrugs off his Team Japan jacket and sits down, picking up the plastic cutlery.

Yuzuru devours his portion and ends up stealing some of the fries Javier had gotten for himself, then stretches like a well fed cat. Javier chuckles at him and pushes him into the bathroom to quickly shower so they can go and rest. Yuzuru emerges from the bathroom half an hour later, Javier having cleared all the remains of their food away and opened his laptop to finish some editing.

They settle on the bed with their own laptops and spend an hour or two working on their own things. Yuzuru answers a gazillion of e-mails while Javier finishes a video. Yuzuru and he end up watching it before he schedules the upload. It feels as if they are back home in their apartment and not in a random hotel, in the middle of a competition. Javier goes to shower while Yuzuru watches the last minutes of his video alone, by the time he is back his laptop placed to the side and Yuzuru is waiting for him under the covers. Javier wraps his arms around Yuzuru and closes his eyes.


	59. #59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier cursed under his breath, food tapping on the ground. The line in front of him wasn’t moving and he was already missing most of the men’s practice as is._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV  
Hey, look I am alive and so is this fic. I have an update finally on this one. If I am honest I have been struggling a lot with this. Especially since I had a vague idea when I wanted to stop and how things should go but then well... 2020 happened. I hope you all will enjoy this chapter and I will do my best to bring one in a timely manner. ♥

Javier cursed under his breath, food tapping on the ground. The line in front of him wasn’t moving and he was already missing most of the men’s practice as is. He could just only hope now to arrive to his seat on time to see Yuzurus run-through for his free program. The line for today’s entry to the venue has been long regardless of what kind of pass you had and it resulted in Javier waiting for much longer than he liked. There was no going around it and he would have found it rather embarrassing to ask Yumi or Yuzuru to pull some strings because that would get anyone’s attention.

Finally his ticket was scanned and he nearly sprinted towards his tribune and he managed to take his seat the second Yuzuru gave the cue to start his music. Javier let out a long breath out of relief but also because the running made him feel a bit out of breath.

Yuzuru started his choreography but the moment he took off for his opening quad, Javier could see that he is not going to land it. He had watched him so often by now, he could tell where he was off axis just by a fraction or if the speed was not enough. As expected Yuzuru fell on his Loop and shook his head when he stood up. The scowl on his face telling that he wasn’t pleased. Javier could already see the amount of calculations going through his mind. It did not make him stop though he landed a beautiful Salchow to prove himself that he could jump and it was just the timing. Javier smiled; he could read Yuzuru by now really well. Yuzuru then took off his gloves, skating over the patch of ice where he fell, pressing his fingers against it. Javier pursed his lips.

“Maybe the ice is too soft?” He asked under his breath, one of the fans sitting next to him agreeing with him in accented English. Javier blinked at the Japanese lady and she offered a smile.

“At previous practice, few other skaters trouble there.” She explained and Javier nodded. That would explain a few things. After all, he had missed all other practices and most of this one. Javier turned his attention back to Yuzuru to see him land a perfect 4T+Eu+3F combination. He couldn’t help but smile and pride filled his chest. Yuzuru had worked so hard on that combination; it was rewarding to see him do it so well now. Even his Flip edge looking good. His happiness faded when he unexpected happened and Yuzuru popped his Axel but instead of looking frustrated he glanced towards his coaches with a sheepish smile. Javier face palmed at his behavior. He was testing his coaches’ patience with a quad he isn’t meant to work on right now, or try in public. It was a true Yuzuru behavior though but it also showed that he wasn’t as frustrated with some missed jumps during practice than he could be.

Yuzuru finished his run-through, consulted a few times with his coaches, and tried a few other more jumps before the practice was completely over. As Javier watched him exit the rink, he thought that this wasn’t as bad of a practice as it could have been. Of course, the telling time is going to be the free program, where it is more important to land the jumps. Nevertheless, the initial tension he saw in Yuzurus shoulders before he left their hotel room appeared to be gone at least.

Javier could only hope Yuzuru will have enough time alone in between media and all other responsibilities to settle his mind for the competition.

\----

Between the practice and the start of the men’s free program, Javier grabbed himself a cup of coffee, decided to check his social media, make a few updates, reply to some comments on Youtube. He also double-checked to make sure his latest video would be published on time. His regular uploading time would collide with the competition and while he could check on his mobile phone, he preferred to look at the skaters performances. There were actually some nice ones in this competition, those he enjoyed watching even if he wouldn’t call himself to be their fan per se.

Making sure to arrive at his seat a bit earlier than later, he avoided any kind of crowds and could settle in comfortably. Covering his screen, he quickly sent Yuzuru a message to tell him that he is going to do great, even if he knew a reply would possibly not come. Yuzuru would be warming up and mentally preparing, he shouldn’t be looking at his phone.

Javier locked his screen and was ready to slip his phone in his pocket when it buzzed with an incoming message. According to the clock on the jumbotron he still had five minutes to group 1. He unlocked his screen again and smiled at the single purple heart emoji send by Yuzuru.

\----

Javier thought he was prepared for the free program but as he waited for Yuzuru to step onto the ice for his 6 minute warm-up his heartbeat escalated and he started to fidget with the tiny Pooh bear he had with him. It was a key-chain recently given by Yuzuru to him and he felt happy he had something to hold onto. As he glanced around the audience, he saw how he wasn’t the only one sitting at the edge of their seat. Finally, the announcer spoke and invited the skaters of the final group on the ice. Yuzuru appeared to be collected, concentrated and in his element but Javier could see the way his finger twitched one too many times – he was nervous.

\----

Yuzuru stepped on the ice as the 5th skater in his group, lining up so the announcer could say all their names. When his own was called and the crowd became the loudest he greeted each side of the rink. Javier squeezed the Pooh in his hand a bit tighter watching his boyfriend take off to warm up his legs and get used to his freshly laced up skates. He did a few rounds to do so, barely a minute into his warm up, and then jumped a perfect 4T+Eu+3F combination. He still appeared to be nervous and going to his coaches soon after, taking off his jacket told Javier a million things others may not catch up on.

Javier doesn’t give a second of his attention to the other skaters in the group, which should make him feel a bit guilty but he couldn’t shake the feeling of worry. Yuzuru wasn’t in his usual head-space and while he was skating 5th in this group, having a bit more time to collect himself, it would be difficult. Yuzuru does the steps before his Salchow, almost falling as his free leg touches down too soon. He laughs at it but Javier knows this is not a good laugh at a mistake, if a near fall on his following jump is to take by. Yuzuru returns to his coaches and Javier prays they can say the right words to shake him out of any bad thoughts. He breathes when two good jumps follow and some of the nervous energy leaves his shoulders.

Hardly a minute remains of the warm up and he is lining up for his opening quad only to have the announcer speak and inform them that the practice is over. Yuzuru ends up aborting his jump and simply outlining it.

One by one each skater leaves the ice, aside from Deniss who is first to skate. Javier sees how Yuzuru bends over to touch the ice then vanished backstage. Javier swallows and closes his eyes, sending another round of prayer to whoever is out there.

_“Please allow him to get the scores he deserves today.”_


	60. #60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuzuru felt incredibly nervous before his free program and his coaches could tell that from how the warm up went. It wasn’t horrible but the amount of pressure he felt on his shoulder felt suffocating._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yuzuru POV

Yuzuru felt incredibly nervous before his free program and his coaches could tell that from how the warm up went. It wasn’t horrible but the amount of pressure he felt on his shoulder felt suffocating. Maybe it was the reason why he decided opened his messages, just to be distracted from all the noise around him, even for a split second. At seeing a new message from Javier he felt a bit of his tension leave his body. The unconditional support he had received from his boyfriend over the course of knowing each other had kept him pushing forward. He had good times but it was during the bad ones where he realized having Javier by his side was so important. Yuzuru didn’t know what he was missing in his life until he had found the other, got to know him, love him and be together. Rough days in relationships always happened and he knew most times it was because he still didn’t think he needed to share certain things with Javier.

As he exists the messaging app, he looks up at the ceiling for a second; making a promise that he would do his best.

\----

Yuzuru takes the ice, waiting by the boards for his name to be announced. He goes through the motion, shaking his hand with Brian, then with Ghislain, crunching down, tapping the boards and then the announcer speaks and he pushes off. He skates around a bit, checking the trajectory of his first quad, then crosses his arms over his chest checking his axis; palms together and he takes a deep breath. A quick glance at the timer and then he gives his cue, going into position for Origin, arms stretched out to the side in crunching position. He feels his leg twitch a little bit due to his nerves but it is not something he hadn’t dealt before.

\----

Yuzuru knows the take off to his opening quad Loop was off, it wasn’t perfect but he fought for the landing, he did and it was over with now, he had to concentrate on the following elements, especially the quad Salchow. He had issues with the jump for a long time, rather moody, something he had not experienced a lot when it came to this element, or at least he had finally had the perfect jump under his belt. However, the previous season had shown him that none of his jumps was there for him when needed, not even his Axel. He struggled and he knew that injuries and sprains weren’t helping his situation. He had to learn a new technique to reduce the pressure on his right ankle on landing, then when it got better learned it from all over again. Switching techniques several times in a season wasn’t the wisest thing to do for anyone but he had no other choice. Thoughts going off, body moving on autopilot he landed a textbook jump and his heart jumps elated in his chest. Finally.

With the first two quads out of the way, he carried on with his program, a solid triple Lutz, followed by one of his best quad Toe in a while. Taking a short breath, he braced himself for his new combination, something he loved doing this season. When he landed it, knowing even the flip had the right edge he had to fight a smile to break out. The program was not yet over he had still elements to complete. Nevertheless the opening shakiness to his program was gone, he felt more confident. His 3A+3T combination also under his belt now. In the moments of preparing for his next jump he wondered if he should stick to his signature jump or change things. Quick thinking and even quicker fix on his landing he added a double toe after the jump. A small chuckle escaped because he himself didn’t know how he accomplished that jump. The crowd grew louder and Yuzuru went into his last steps and spins with a sense of accomplishment.

From his ending pose, he leaned forward and thanked the ice, rubbing the surface a few times. His heart was beating rapidly and not just because he just completed a free program. Yuzuru was happy. This was a near perfect Origin, something he aimed for last season too but never got to achieve. So close to his perfect image but still a lot to improve on. He pushed that aside for now bowing before the crowd, a smile on his face. Yuzuru saw so much yellow and red falling on the ice he couldn’t help but feel happy about that as well. At the exit he got greeted by his coaches. A bit unbalanced on his legs but moving towards the Kiss & Cry. The second he sat down the screen started to show his replay and the discussion with his coaches began, laughing at the parts he could have done better. He felt good, not too worried about his scores that was a new feeling for him too. Yuzuru knew he did well.

The scores appeared and Yuzuru let out a delighted laugh. 212.99 is a good score, it is an amazing score. Then Brian said this might be his first ever Skate Canada win and Yuzuru threw his hands up in a tiny yay, happiness bubbling out of him. Even if Nam did a perfect skate, his free program would not reach too close to his and his advantage after the short program was still there too. He knew he had won. Yuzuru closed his eyes for a moment, cameras on Nam who would start his skate soon and wished he could run to Javier now and hug him.

\----

Yuzuru enjoyed victory ceremonies especially the ones where he would be receiving a gold medal. Who wouldn’t? He felt slightly exhausted though and kind of wished it would be over soon. Right after he stepped backstage the media and cameras all pointed at him and he gave interview after interview until the results were announced. He let out a soft breath of final relief for having won, then answered a new increased amount of questions until he had to go back rink-side again for the ceremony. He felt happy to have two of his friends on the podium with him too, especially Keiji who had fought hard. By the boards, Michael and Kristen teased him about his win a bit but also congratulated him. Yuzuru grinned from ear to ear, bending down to thank the ice the moment he could and then go center, bowing to the crowd again, to his fans. His cheeks started to hurt but he couldn’t stop smiling.

Jumping on the podium required a bit of a momentum but he didn’t let the height of it disturb his pleasure on jumping on the top. If he was honest, some of the victory ceremony was a blur, his ears ringing from the loud screams. He teased and played around with Keiji making him roll his eyes at him but still indulging him in the shenanigans. Somewhere as they took their victory lap, Nam appeared with flower crowns in his hand and he burst out laughing, almost collapsing on the ice. He really wanted to see Keiji put it on and then he did and he laughed even harder. Nam and Keiji looked at him and the purple and gold flower crown in his own hands, urging him to put it on too. Yuzuru felt too happy to be bothered and did. The screams got even louder and he felt his cheeks flush. It was a bit embarrassing to wear it, knowing how at least a hundred of pictures will make social media before he even steps off the ice. Yuzuru ended up taking it off because it was a bit too embarrassing even if he loved it too.

Yuzuru went through the motions of pictures, made sure to put his medals on his coaches, sneaking a quick glance to Javiers sector. Locking his eyes with him for a few seconds then he was ushered for media duties again. Hours passed until he was released from their clutches and it took all his remaining energy to drag himself back to the hotel. The door of his room opened and he found Javier already waiting for him with open arms. Yuzuru collapsed in his embrace and buried his face against his shoulder.

“I am so proud of you. My champion. You did so amazing. ” Javier whispered and Yuzuru hugged his boyfriend tighter, words stuck in his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Twitter: ofreverentia


	61. #61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Javier knew how exhausting competitions were for Yuzuru, not only because of the physical side of it but especially the mentally portion. Compared to others his responsibilities moved onto pleasing the media and answering several questions each time they found him after practice or each segment._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Javier POV

Javier knew how exhausting competitions were for Yuzuru, not only because of the physical side of it but especially the mentally portion. Compared to others his responsibilities moved onto pleasing the media and answering several questions each time they found him after practice or each segment. It was never ending really and he was amazed countless of times how amazing his boyfriend was to deal with all of this. Today at least he wouldn’t have to be faced with many bad questions, he had won and by a big margin. He showed his programs were incredible and as he made his way back to their hotel room, he couldn’t wait to hold him in his arms. Javier also picked up some light meal on his way, in case Yuzuru had the energy to have a few bites of food. 

Back in the room he took a quick shower, tidied up some of the mess they managed to make, sorting through his clothes, put the food containers on the small table they have been eating at, then turned to his laptop for some work. While he was at the stadium he had received a few more offers for collaborations and he had been looking into finding himself some assistance for managing his Emails and such. His channel had picked up and it was good but he also felt mostly overwhelmed with how fast things were coming his way. There was a good management agency he heard about from other Youtubers, they didn’t ask for horrible fees but all was depending on what they would help him with and since Javier would never let anyone tell him how he manages his content on his channel; all he needed was someone dealing with communications with sponsors or collaborations.

He quickly typed off a message asking them if that would be manageable and at what conditions. Javier hit sent on his email when his phone lit up with a message from Yumi saying Yuzuru would be back in the hotel soon. Javier stored away his laptop and got up, waiting by the door for his boyfriend. A few minutes and he heard the sound of the door, opened his arms and seconds later had Yuzuru in his arms.

“I am so proud of you. My champion. You did so amazing. ” Javier whispered and Yuzuru hugged his boyfriend tighter. “You did so amazing today, I have never seen anything more beautiful on the ice.” Yuzuru buried his face against his neck and soon enough Javier felt light wetness against his skin, the small shoulders of Yuzuru shaking in his embrace. 

Yuzuru calmed down eventually and pulled away to look at Javier. His eyes were red and tear marks ran along his face, which he made sure to brush away gently with his thumb. Yuzuru was smiling though, the tears were not due to disappointment but happiness for being rewarded for his efforts with good scores. Javier knew all that without needing to speak to him, it was written all over his face and he leaned in to peck his lips gently.

“I got you some light food, do you want to eat something or rather rest?” Yuzuru looked over the small table and smiled even brighter. 

“I think I will eat a bit, shower and cuddle my boyfriend to sleep?” The last bit of his sentence sounded like a question. As if he had to really ask Javier for such things. If he wanted cuddles and kisses, he would be more than happy to give him that. 

The two settled down by the table and Javier ended up eating some of the food Yuzuru couldn’t finish, gently feeding each other a few bites here and there. His boyfriend then went off to the bathroom taking a much needed shower, while Javier cleared the boxes of their meal and fluffed up the pillows on the bed. He changed into his sleeping clothes, since he already took his shower from before, sliding under the blanket. 

Yuzuru appeared in a small cloud of fog from the bathroom, toweling his hair dry. He looked at Javier on the bed and his heart did a small jump in his chest. Some days he still couldn’t believe who his boyfriend was and all the love his eyes radiated when he looked at him. Yuzuru tossed his towel into the bathroom, then slid under the covers, curling up against Javiers side, head resting on his chest. 

The silence was comfortable and Javier felt himself slowly drift off, but then Yuzuru moved and propped himself up on his elbow to look at him. His expression holding so much more than affection and Javier felt his throat go dry. 

Yuzuru smiled lightly and leaned into kiss Javier, taking his breath away for the umpteenth time that day. 

\----

Javier was the first to wake and move to turn off Yuzuru alarm, a few of his bones cracked when he stretched his boyfriend curling up further to sleep. With a chuckle he reached to rub his hand along his naked back softly. “Babe, you have Gala practice this morning.” Yuzuru mumbled something in Japanese into his pillow, rubbing his face into it before turning to blink sleepy eyes open. 

“Can I skip it?” He managed to speak in English, though a bit slower as his brain adjusted to being awake. 

“I do not think that is going to be possible and didn’t you promise Jordan to actually let him record your practice?” Yuzuru frowned at that, a small whine escaping his lips. Javier chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. “Come on, the faster you get ready the earlier you are going to be done with it all.” With one more whine Yuzuru pushed himself up from the bed, the sheets falling away to expose more of his naked skin and Javier had to bite his lip. Yuzuru caught his eyes though a smirk forming on his lips.

“If I skip breakfast we do have some extra time don’t we?” Javier didn’t even get to reply, soft heart shaped lips already pressing to his. If Yuzuru ended up being late for the shuttle by 5 minutes delaying the departure of it, he wouldn’t admit the real reason why he was late, just said he missed the first time his alarm rang.

\----

Javier took a long shower after Yuzuru left for Gala practice, since it wasn’t open for the public he wouldn’t be joining him. If he did and people asked why he actually had a pass to go backstage for that the questions it could trigger were something neither of them wanted to answer. He would use the extra few hours to do a bit of sightseeing, take some pictures and maybe some footage for a short vlog about his weekend. On some days he felt he was neglecting his job for the sake of supporting his boyfriend and that is not something he wanted. 

An hour before he had to leave for the Gala itself he returned to the hotel, ate something in the restaurant downstairs, changed his clothes, packed up anything he may not need anymore in his suitcase. They planned to leave first thing in the morning and he would rather not spend the evening packing up longer than really necessary. 

With a light skip in his step he made his way to the arena, excited to see Yuzuru perform and old program. Yuzuru told him last night which one he had picked and Javier would be lying if he didn’t want to see a more mature version of Parisienne Walkways. It was one of his favourites, though if someone would ask which programs he liked most he would most likely list all of Yuzurus programs. Each one was his favourite for different reasons. 

Javier managed to get inside and settle in his seat without too much time standing in line and bit his lips, feeling extremely excited for the whole Gala.


End file.
